Stick with Me!

By David Glenn Cox

It is a very sad turn of events. Like a sick puppy sad or vacation slides sad. And the longer it goes on the sadder it becomes. As many of you are already aware. Arizona Republican candidate for Governor Kari Lake, lost her recent election bid in November. Being a protégée of the Mira Lago mauler. She took the election loss as you might expect, with anger and invective and tantrum.

She’s not going to concede because she was obviously cheated! It just wasn’t fair! Now she’s assembled a top drawer million-dollar legal team to fight it out in court, and to prove it once and for all. Household legal names like Allan (license to steal) Dershowitz are hired.  Hired to prove that Lake had had her election stolen right out from under her nose, just like Donald Trump.

So, Lake’s election fraud case help’s Trump’s election case by proxy. Allowing Trump to point and say, “See, we’re all being robbed all over the place!” But Lake’s case was thinner than wet rice paper to begin with.  Most of her complaints were minor and manufactured. A vote scanner malfunctioned at a single polling place in Phoenix. Forcing voters to place their ballots inside of a locked ballot box rather than a ballot scanner for nearly an hour.

This caused long lines which meant some people might have gone home without voting. Ergo, she was robbed! That’s the reason she lost by over 17,000 votes. There were other discrepancies found of course, but this was the BIG one.

The million-dollar All-star legal team was going to have their hands full turning this dab of Shinola into a large bucket of shit. But they were up for the challenge and ready to defend Donald Trump and or his proxies down to his last dollar.

“Per tauro cacas vigemus!” Through bullshit we thrive! The All-star legal team headed into Federal Court with their pop guns all loaded with popcorn and confetti. All dressed up in their nice pin striped suits and their fancy Italian shoes. Wearing the serious expressions million-dollar attorneys often wear in the courtroom.

They presented their case to the judge as million-dollar attorneys always do. With accuracy and a calm demeanor, with confidence in their points of law. Built through their years and years of education and legal training. Keeping up with all the latest rulings and keeping up with current events.

Here is where the story turns sad. The judge looked at their legal handiwork and basically said, but I’m not familiar with the Latin term. But for us street folks, the judge called their case nonsense. Not just legal nonsense, but nonsense, nonsense! And for bringing in a nonsense case like that! The judge recommended the Million-dollar legal team should be sanctioned and penalized for bringing this kind of nonsense before the Federal court and wasting its time! “Does this mean we didn’t win?”

“The Court concludes that sanctions are warranted under Rule 11 and 28 U.S.C. § 1927. It finds that Plaintiffs made false, misleading, and unsupported factual assertions in their FAC and MPI and that their claims for relief did not have an adequate factual or legal basis grounded in a reasonable pre-filing inquiry, in violation of Rules 11(b)(2) and (b)(3). The Court further finds that Plaintiffs’ counsel acted at least recklessly in unreasonably and vexatiously multiplying the proceedings by seeking a preliminary injunction based on Plaintiffs’ frivolous claims, in violation of Section 1927.”

You just don’t get as much attorney for a million dollars as you used too! If I were Kari Lake, I’d be pissed off too! It looks like she won’t be our next Governor, after all.  The court finds this was all bullshit from the start and the plaintiffs are advised to move along now. And leave the courthouse before the Judge changes his mind about things and starts to get really riled up.

But it gets even better. Even better than going before the Federal Court spewing nonsense and getting balled out by the judge. Better than losing your case in a disastrously funny fashion. Better than the judge recommending prosecution for your million-dollar legal team.

Now, you might say to yourself. “I bet this the worst day in court that a Plaintiff could ever have!” And you might begin to think that this day might be the ultimate bad day in court for any Plaintiff ever. But oh no, it gets much worse!

You see, this Federal Judge had pointed out to Kari Lake’s legal brain trust. A very simple and commonly known element of American Jurisprudence. That setting aside the facts in this case were complete garbage and a giant nothing burger. The million-dollar legal team had filed their claim for relief at the WRONG courthouse. Those things can happen sometimes even to a million-dollar legal team.

As most of us high school educated already know. Elections are the sole prerogative of the States and States alone! *(Unless the Supreme Court chooses to intervene and installs Bush as President.) Other than that, one time. The state’s rule is supreme in running elections. Filing for relief from state law in Federal court is what is called in the legal profession, just plain stupid or premeditated.

The million-dollar Lake brain trust was also stymied when the judge pointed out that Ms. Lake had voted in the same manner, she now came to the court to complain about.

After Socrates had been sentenced to death. His friends had offered to bust him out of jail. But Socrates wouldn’t hear of it. Because he maintained that the time to complain about an unjust law is before you’re found guilty of it. And the judge understood that as, “Don’t come in here bitching about electronic voting if that’s the way YOU voted!”

But the machines are old! They could be defective! Sure, they were all tested before the election. But you never know, huh? Standby; this what you get for a million dollars these days. Legal aplomb that you probably wouldn’t get with a lower tiered “Discount” attorney. Say maybe a hundred-thousand-dollar lawyer wouldn’t know of this old legal trick. Only the real pros know this one. Watch and learn something!

“Your honor, It has come to our attention that there are many foreign components inside of these voting machines. Components manufactured in foreign countries who are sometimes unfriendly and even hostile to the United States! Huh, huh? Pretty good huh, don’t ya think?”

The Chinese Communist Party and their agents could have plotted to subvert the Arizona Gubernatorial election. Through the use of cleverly modified transistors, machine screws and electronic stuff that you can’t see with the naked eye. But you don’t have to see it, the judge could smell it a mile off.

Kari Lake strutted stridently through her campaign chastising, backhanding, and warning the media. That she was going to be their worst nightmare. Everybody in the whole state was incompetent! Everyone! And we were just lucky that she showed up when she did to save us from ourselves! So now, it is only logical and human nature to understand why Kari Lake wouldn’t want to concede the election after all her vain comments of certain victory.

Because Donald Trump had told her not to concede. And Lake was gullible enough to fall for it. Someone had filled her head with smokey pipe dreamy notions of higher office, Madam Vice President! The question was already out there, “would she finish out her term, if elected?”

All fingers point to Donald Trump as the prime motivator of this fiasco. The old Roman maxim applies, “Who gains from this?” Score another victory/loss for the orange con man. He suckered that woman coming and going, like a rube from out of town!

Trump used her so badly they outta tattoo ”GULLIBLE”  across her forehead. Whispering that sweet siren’s song in her ear, “you just stick with me! You could be Vice-President someday. But only if you stick with me!”