There is No Santa Claus in the Bible!

By David Glenn Cox

Churchill said, “Perhaps, it is not the beginning of the end. But perhaps it is the end of the beginning.” But in this case, he’d be wrong. This is  definitely the beginning of the end stuff here. We stand on the precipice and prepare to watch! As the Republican Party begins a championship lemming dive competition. (Good Seats still available!)

Marge Greene says she was only kidding about bringing guns to January 6th! Only kidding. Where’s your sense of humor? That’s where the bottom feeders feed, alright! The old Rush Limbaugh Nappy Headed Hoes routine. Just kidding, where’s your sense of humor?  But to get ahead at the Ape show you must be the biggest hairiest Ape and say the hairiest Apeiest things.

That’s a  problem! Being, you can only go so low before you begin to scrape bottom. If Margie says, “Santa is an illegal Alien!” Boebert says, “We should get a gun shoot him down!” Matt Gaetz makes a speech criticizing Joe Biden’s Air defense policy.

Then Ron DeSantis starts collecting money for Florida’s own state air defenses. And then the lunacy becomes baked in and becomes accepted Republican gospel. Everyone knows, Santa is a dangerous foreigner with designs on our children! He sneaks into your house at night! And sometimes…he watches you when you don’t know about it! [DO YOU OWN A GUN?] This madman must be stopped!

And then there is also a vampire on the loose to contend with. He’s infected the Republican Party so badly that even Van Helsing couldn’t help them. This Vampire feeds on the Party. Sapping its strength until the Party is unable to resist! The Vampire is believed to rest in his earth in an old, abandoned mansion in Florida. Where all the old Vampires go to retire.

The Republicans can’t get shed of him. Thanks to Joe Biden’s ban on silver bullets. Trump is becoming poison for the Party. And he’s their problem now! They built him and now they must chase him as he runs loose over the countryside. But a Trump candidacy now after a midterm whipping would spell doom. The Party is looking for a new face not the same old orange asshole. Herschel Walker, Dr. Oz and Kari Lake where all Trumpers. Who trumped their way home after election day. Coat tails?  Trump doesn’t even own a coat!

But like they say on TV. “Don’t order now!” Because in two years from now? It’s gonna be just downright pitiful! Half filled airport tarmacs with Trump talking the same noise he always talks. Like a broken record or a greatest hits album! Snore Fest 2024! Across town the DeSantis camp stargazing on how to get more enthusiasm into their bone-dry campaign.

The “My way or the Highway” polarity divides the Party across unbending lines. There will be no photo taken at the convention, ”Mr. Trump congratulates the nominee and vows his full support!” Nope, that ain’t gonna happen! No. Once the vote totals are announced. One side or the other will walk out in protest. If they don’t start a riot first and the police have to clear the room.

You never know, Marge might bring guns this time. Oh wait, she was only joking.

Death Ray Ron DeSantis made big headlines with his voter fraud charges. All disappearing in court as misunderstandings on both sides of an ambiguous law. Proving there is no voter fraud, even if you look for it or make it up.

Little Ronnie’s good at generating headlines that generally aren’t as they first appear. Frauds perpetrated on the unsuspecting Bible thumpers to keep them amused, while the Republicans pick their pockets. Boy, I can’t wait till January to find out more about Hunter Biden’s laptop! It’s goof ball New York Post stuff and the echo chamber non-reality. The not ready for crime time players.

Even their friends don’t help them all that much. Elon Musk recently appeared on stage with Dave Chappelle. Musk was greeted with a smattering of applause most drowned out by a large chorus of boos and cat calls!

 And it occurred to me that Elon Musk had done in months. What it took Henry Ford ten long years to do. To go from greatly admired to greatly despised. It took Richard Nixon forty long years to become only half that despised!

Which means they ain’t buying what Musk is selling. They don’t want Trump back on Twitter. And if you do. They don’t want you either. Buy a company to just to tear it apart and expose its inner workings? How come? To prove the myth of the aggrieved and picked on?  Oooh, they didn’t like Conservative thought! Or maybe they just didn’t like people threatening to bring guns to a democratic government.

It would be irresponsible for a social media company not to have a watch list or a shadow bans. It’s their bat and their ball, so they make the rules. Even Trump knew that, so he started his own social media. With the expected Trumpy results.  So, Elon spent this fortune to prove water is wet. To endear himself to the conservative public by tearing a clock apart to see how it works.

Speaking of broken clocks. Brent Kavanagh has been out partying in conservative political circles again. Assuring the public’s low opinion of the court remains steadfast. They are either so stupid or so arrogant as to not understand the way the game is played. A court Justice who disavows his ethics to remain nonpolitical cheapens the entire court. Until every unpopular judicial ruling costs Republicans elections. The court becomes a thorn in the side of the public. That reminds them again and again, not to vote Republican.

Roosevelt was rebuked when he suggested expanding the Supreme court. But now? Now, the idea is floated around and considered to be mainstream. Why? You know why.

It was that famous Republican Abe Lincoln who advised that a house divided against itself can’t stand. And the Republicans are most certainly divided against themselves. The Count Trumpula wing  and the new Florida Nazi Party wing. The Republican House of Cards in Congress will be making itself the next Jersey Shore. Gomez is upstairs playing with the trains again! Building their house on the sand of Kevin McCarthy and boys from the back room!

For the next two years, the Republicans will take more interest in making sensational headlines that peter out to nothing. While announcing the most extreme legislation that could never be passed in a million years through Congress. As things stand, the Republicans couldn’t carry a vote to turn on the lights. The two sides of the Republican Party (Hyde & Hyde) will spend the next two years warring on each other!

Clown College, Jersey Shore, Rowan & Martin’s Laugh in or two AM at the keg party. “Mister Speaker, I rise today in defense of American skies and American children everywhere! It’s a known fact he wears a red suit just like a Communist! And he comes from where Communists come from too! We can’t let our children fall prey to this heathen, unchristian, dirty Communist! There is No Santa Claus in the Bible! So, he can only be Satan himself!”

It is definitely the beginning of the end.

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

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