Just Get in the Car

By David Glenn Cox

It is about to get funny but not ha, ha funny. Peculiar funny, schadenfreude funny, ha, ha. Your opponent just stumbled and fell down walking onstage, funny. Kevin McCarthy seems to live with “Yackety Sax” playing as the sound track of his life.

Fifteen ballots didn’t signal any kind of felty or consensus to begin with. So, Kevin McCarthy will suffer much or more from the scourges of his own Party as from the Democrats. But Kevin isn’t helping himself much with rubber check George Santos around. Just like the ring around the bathtub, it won’t get rid of itself! Like it says in the Bible says, “if that eye offends thee” and all.

So, Santos becomes the modern poster child of Republican leadership, and Kevin becomes the organ grinder. Well, then the “News” broke that Kevin had given Little Tuck, Tuck Carlson the “Exclusive!” use of January 6th footage for the purpose of a mind washing. “Nothing happened, go back to sleep America. See, here’s a nice man! Nothing to see here, you’re blocking traffic…now move along.”

The folks on left lost their minds, “The hell you say!” Sure, but that’s our Kevin, it looks bad smells bad and is bad. But like Gilligan’s Island, you’re preloaded with knowledge that Gilligan will screw something up. But then, just as the voices had started to die down a new voice raised his pillow stuffing head.

Mike Lindell answered, “The hell you say! Exclusive to who?” The old broken clock rule comes into play, yet again. Lindell was bound to be right about something eventually. By now the odds were on his side, and by gosh today is that day! The Party of truth justice and the American way, making sweetheart deals trying to make friends.

You can’t just give away exclusive access to a single media outlet! So, I can’t see where Kevin has got a legal leg to stand on. Once everybody has the footage as soon as a Courts rule against Kevin by saying, you can’t do that!  You give it to one, you gotta give it to everybody. Like bubble gum, did you bring enough for everybody? Sane or crazy, everyone will soon have access. And it will then become the Republican Zapruder film. “Here on camera 27 and on reel 116 of hour three!”

Kevin’s attempt to curry favor with Fox News has blown up in his face. And by association on Fox News as their exclusive will soon be gone faster than you can say “edited clip!” Kevin thought if he gave them something. Fox News would maybe stop calling him a Puppet of Democrats and a RINO! Kevin doesn’t understand that it’s nothing personal. Fox News just needs a Goldstein to be responsible for all these failures.

The Party is perfect, and the Party is strong…except for this guy! This guy is the problem. This guy, he’s the source of all injury and he’s dragging us all down. But the question of Quid Pro quo? Who is or was wagging whom here? Is this a special introductory offer? “Won’t you please be my bestie friend forever? And I’ll give you nice stuff for free!” Or could this be more of the ratings are down and the boss is pissed. You know, Tucker has a birthday coming up. And gee, what can you give a man who has everything? You wouldn’t want to disappoint Tucker now, would you?

Another self-inflicted wound by Kevin. Soon everyone will have all the videos and because of their availability the videos will soon become passe and overplayed. “And with your donation to the 700 Club of just $199.99 you’ll get all nine hours of the best of the January 6th celebration of America! On four CDs.

Little  Tuck, Tuck doesn’t get his exclusive. Kevin doesn’t get his brownie points or atta boys.  And worst of all, now all the crazies will have access to the videos making them near worthless to Fox.

Mike Pence is looking for an angle in his snowball’s chance in hell campaign. Trumps got the crazy covered, and Nikki Haley has got the sedition now and sedition forever angle covered. So now comes Mike Pence with his talk of making cuts to social programs that are self-funding.

Ah, the True Conservative angle! “Oh, I know these cuts might be painful, but we must all be strong. I don’t like it anymore than you do people, but we must face the facts. The tax system favors the rich and will continue to favor the rich.”

And the best way for me as a candidate to try and generate some sweet campaign largess from billionaires. Is by saying the types of things billionaires like to hear said. And billionaires are willing to fund me to keep me saying those things. Don’t laugh that’s how Reagan got his start. But Mike Pence was the straight man from the comedy team of Trump & Pence. This generations answer to Dan Quayle, and I knew Dan Quayle, and he’s no Dan Quayle!

The Pence campaign is also unable to overcome the stigma as the villain of January 6th. Mike Pence didn’t do the illegal act what Trump wanted him to do, so Trump put the evil eye on Mikey. If the Godfather says you’re out, then you’re out. Mike is outside the circle and shunned by the brethren of the Party under strict orders of the Orange one.

What is Mikey up too? Is he just trying keep one oar in the water to remain relevant? Maybe some nice University somewhere needs a President somewhere? Somewhere nice where Mother would be comfortable.

What are the chances Republicans will suddenly disavow Trump and name Mike as their champion? Can you see the Pence campaign suddenly catching fire? “I want to cut your Social Security check! And maybe cat food is too good for you granny! You don’t look all that sick to me. Sacrifices must be made here! I’m sure that message will resonate well with the voting public.

But if these videos are to be released, I can’t wait to see the episode where Mike Pence refuses to get into the limo on Jan 6th. Because Pence feared the Secret Service were working for the President. Pence didn’t trust what the United States Secret Service were saying when they were telling Mike Pence to just get the car, just get in the car!

Supposedly, it was quite an event to see with pacing and angry cell phone calls, and all the hottest kind of language being exchanged. A coup attempt was filmed in real time. The videos the Republicans hoped could be used to brainwash America can also be used to convict them of their crime.

And all thanks to Kevin McCarthy!

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