No Holds Barred, Down and Dirty

By David Glenn Cox

You just can’t make this stuff up. Well, I suppose you could. You could buy some cameras make it up and call it Fox News. But I wouldn’t lie to you, fiction is dead. The truth is far too bizarre for fiction to ever try and compete. Former teen Mom Lauren Boebert announces her teenage son is gonna be a Daddy. I bet it’s the talk of the mobile home park.

Boebert praised the couples choice of life. Sure, sure she did. “Mom, my 15-year-old girlfriend is three months pregnant.” Oh, that’s wonderful son; I’m so glad you did that. I was worried at first that you might have wrecked the car! Boebert via tips from George Santos (more later) concocts a fairy tale. That teenagers in the rural parts of the country choose to become pregnant at fifteen because they respect life so much. You have to be pretty dim to believe that one.

Boebert the former teen Mom blamed heredity. Yes, heredity going back to the beginning of time. When young people reach that special age in our oversexualized society they will have sex. But here is where heredity comes in. We learn from our mistakes, and we teach our children to try and do better. It’s called intelligence. You can’t always stop the sex, but you can stop the pregnancy with knowledge.

But Boebert smiled and was so proud of the young couple. It turned out alright for Boebert, so it will be fine. But to cover her backside politically Boebert attempts to normalize teen pregnancy. “Yuck, Yuck! That’s the way she goes. You get you a driver’s license and a girlfriend and a pick up. Maybe a six pack and some soft Country music and well. 1 + 1 = 3!

But if only that were all there was to it then it could be discounted. In West Virginia, you can marry at 16 with parental consent. Even younger if you’re willing to talk to a judge about it. A bill to change that law was defeated but alibi, it was a close vote.

A local Republican State Senator Mike Stuart explained his vote like this. He said, his mother was married when she was 16, and “six months later, I came along.” You just can’t make it up it’s like a low-grade Twilight Zone where hypocrisy doesn’t exist, and everything seems ironic. The driving instructor who wrecks the car or the No sex ed lady with pregnant teenagers and yet, she smiles. “There’s something special about rural conservative communities,” Ms. Boebert said, “They value life.”  

A place where the obvious is cloudy and the cloudy is obvious. Someone! Someone! Someone unknown. Some mysterious source has been creating tens of  thousands of bot Twitter accounts on the platform. Little is known about this mysterious source, but all the bots tends to post pro Trump messages and anti- Ron DeSantis and Nikki Haley messages. But the source of the manipulation remains murky. But the investigation will continue.

I wonder who, oh who, could ever be responsible? Dirty deeds done dirt cheap and we’re just getting started here. This is barely the first Inning.

I want to take a moment here to apologize to someone I have wronged. I had said that George Santos was a goofy mentally deranged pathological liar and con man. I was completely wrong about that, and I stand corrected and publicly admit it. He’s a real bonafide criminal! A real jail door slamming Graybar hotel 20 to life, criminal!

Another in the long line of former George Santos room mates sends a letter to the FBI. Gustavo Ribeiro Trelha, who is serving time for credit card skimming, says it was George Santos who taught him how and was his partner who got him his started in the business. From bad check writing to credit card skimming? Credit card skimming isn’t what you’d call a gateway crime. It’s an I meant to do it. Because I’m a fucking professional career criminal!

Who among us hasn’t written a bad check or two for puppies to a simple Amish farmer? And the Republicans are latched onto him and plan to keep him. The Party of law and order get tough on crime and executions for everybody coddles not just a fraud or a bad check artist. But a real live Tony Soprano type criminal with a whole host of criminal tentacles. Puppy scams, stolen phones, Ponzi schemes, Go fund me accounts, skimming credit cards who is this guy working for?

More and more as the gray light of dawn appears it looks like George Santos is a criminal soldier working in New York. A web of lies just like you would expect from Godfather 4. The unpaid rent for months and months. Playing the system down to the last card like a pro and then moving on to the next sucker, just like a wise guy would.

Scams dodges and different identities, roommates who give you half the rent and it goes straight in their pocket as spending money.  If Tony Soprano were a real character, he would probably know George Santos and George would know of Tony.

It all begins to make sense, the Congressman from the wise guy club.  And the $700,000? And all those visits to that same restaurant and always $199.99. George wasn’t hungry he was paying the boss. Just one more scam among many. And why Kevin McCarthy won’t get rid of him when common sense says to ditch him. It might not be healthy.

Retro Reich’s Fuhrer Ron DeSantis held a press conference to debunk rumors that his Administration is banning books. Or as Groucho put it, “Who are you going to believe? Me or your own lying eyes!” Ron creates a video and holds a press conference with visual aids because the gray light is dawning on Ron that maybe, just maybe, he’s gone a theme park too far. The presentation entitled “EXPOSING THE BOOK BAN HOAX.”

All lies, all made up. DeSantis is going to start his own Trump style Russia hoax. It’s not true! It’s not true! DeSantis is feeling the heat and firing his retro rockets trying to control his message. The usual everybody is out to get us victimhood mentality is present. The hooded white night on his holy quest being hampered by the demons of a free society. Aw shucks, I’m just tryin to do a good thing and they’re trying to stop me by telling lies about me.

And he’s the Republican candidate least likely to be indicted before the election! He’s their good one! (Twilight Zone theme) The other campaign in their Party is a flaming shit wagon from hell rolling in at about ninety miles per hour headed for the Republican convention. Oh, I wonder where those Twitter bots came from? Expect a Trump Krieg! No holds barred, down and dirty.

“Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are.”
― Niccolò Machiavelli,

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