In the Name of God

How many gifts have you accepted this week Clarence?

By David Glenn Cox

Whaaa? What do you mean…? Wrong? You mean if I accepted a few little trinkets from a dear, dear friend that’s somehow wrong? When did that start? The dickens you say! It was just a little boat ride overseas for a few weeks on a super yacht barbecuing and sipping $4,000 a bottle champagne. You mean that’s wrong?

He doesn’t have any cases currently pending before the court now, so it’s okay right? I asked around the office when I first got here, and everyone said it would be fine. How about that, if only I’d known! It was just a little half million-dollar vacation. And you say that’s wrong? Gee, I guess all those other gifts are probably wrong too.

What is shocking isn’t a corrupt judge those can be found most anywhere. But a corrupt Supreme Court judge who can’t come up with a better argument to explain away his corruption than, “What? Who knew? If only someone had told me!” The very reason the Supreme Court didn’t have a written code of ethics is because the justices were expected to already know better, by the time they reached the highest court in the land.

Just another case of Republican corruption peeling up at the corners. Playing the public for a bunch of dumb ass saps. “He didn’t know it was wrong. That was a dear friend of his.”

But then, Dim Jim Jordan subpoenas documents and a prosecutor in an open court case and gets, “Talk to the hand.” So, then, Dim Jim tries to subpoena a former prosecutor in the same case and gets? Now, Dim Jim went to law school but never could pass that mean old bar exam. That test is culturally biased against stupid people. Three guesses why he couldn’t pass? And so, Jimi took up his career as a locker room attendant.

Now, let’s swallow a reality pill here and climb into the way back machine. And go all the way back to the 2020 Presidential election. Clarence’s dear, dear friend. He owns a super yacht and donates heavily to Republican candidates. But doesn’t currently have a case before the court. Ginni Thomas was wading waist deep in sedition and advocating for overthrowing the lawfully elected government. “Whaa? You mean that’s wrong too?”

Of course, simple Simon didn’t know his wife was doing any of that. After all, they just share a bedroom and live together. He might have blown the dust off the old law books and had a look see. “Garsh honey, it says here that’s wrong!”

Same song, second verse. In the infamous Bush vs. Gore court case. The Federal Supreme Court stepped in and overruled the Florida State Supreme Court. The Florida Court had said the recount should move forward. The Federal Supreme Court ordered the recount to stop giving the Presidency to George W. Bush.

Now, it says in the Constitution that in all things not specifically named are the prerogative of the states. And you know how Republicans like to talk about state’s rights and the overreaching hand of the Federal Government. Like elections, issues of elections belong exclusively to the states. Unless the Federal Supreme Court conveniently steps in and says otherwise.

So, here we are back in 2020. And we have this Republican phony elector scheme. Did the Trump campaign and the complicit Republicans actually believe that kind of harebrained scheme would ever work?

Well, no, of course not. It didn’t have to work. All it had to do is gum up the works. Then Mike Pence would throw up his hands and say, “Gee, we just can’t figure this out. There seem to be two slates of electors and we can’t tell who the correct electors are. I guess the only fair solution is to let the Supreme Court decide.”

Enter simple Simon. How do you suppose Clarence would vote? It stinks so bad; Clarence should wear a brown robe. There is a tendency sometimes to suspect Clarence isn’t play straight with us. But then, occasionally Clarence will say something that might lead you to believe he really is that dumb. Clarence lamented that the Court doesn’t have the same level of respect since Ruth Bader Ginsburg died.

That’s some good thinking there Dr. Einstein. I wonder, oh I wonder, do you suppose it has something to do with her being gone and YOU still being there? Do you need another piece of chalk or need your blackboard cleaned?

Many years ago,  when I was a young and aspiring super salesman. My mentor told me to never give or accept gifts from customers. You are either trying to buy their business, or they are trying to buy you. If you gave them gifts, they would expect more gifts for every order. If you accepted gifts the customer, might expect favors from you putting you at odds with your employer. It made sense to me, and I never even went to law school.

Clarence understands well enough the old “Oh, I didn’t know” routine will pass muster with the propagandized knuckle dragging minions.  After all, if they still believe Trump’s bullshit, they’ll believe anything. Trump could have his wife Malaria go over to do a strip tease for Clarence. And the Fox fundamentalists would answer, “What? They’re friends! She’s an entertainer.”  

They get their knickers in a bunch over a naked statue, but don’t have a problem with pictures of a naked First Lady. They talk about morality and put “F*ck Joe Biden” bumper stickers on their truck next to the faux testicles hanging from the trailer hitch. But they are trying to protect the children.

Either Clarence is dumb as a box of hammers, or he thinks that we are dumb as a box of hammers. An ethical man caught in a moral conundrum would retire gracefully. But we’re talking about Clarence and that’s not going to happen. They will have to drag Clarence out kicking and screaming. “You can’t do this to me! It was only a half-million-dollar vacation gift from a friend of mine. What’s it to you? Yeah, and I’ll do it again next time too!”

The Supreme Court doesn’t dispense justice they restrict it. They proved that it’s not just Banana Republics that stop elections. A runaway slave is always someone’s property. Child labor is perfectly constitutional. What’s wrong with a ten-year-old working in a coal mine? Separate but equal, what’s wrong with that?

And if the case of Trump vs. Biden had reached the low high court. The court would have dispensed what? Justice? But of course, there is nothing improper in a Supreme Court Justice accepting a half a million-dollar vacation. “Teacher says, every time a bell rings it’s Christmas time at Clarence’s house.” If Thomas won’t go quietly, he should be impeached.

“You have sat too long here for any good you have been doing. Depart, I say, and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go.” – Oliver Cromwell

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