Titanic Zombie Dance Party

By David Glenn Cox

What woah! The Jimi Jordan stunt cycle show has hit a bump in the road. The Hot Wheels are flying off the track. Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg herein referred to as El Kabong has filed suit against Jordan. Little Jimi didn’t expect that. But if dim Jim could have ever passed the bar exam, he might have seen it coming. That bar exam has a known inherent bias against stupid people.

Jimi herein referred to as Chief Yellow tie has been using his committee chairmanship to act as defense council for Donald Trump. Acting ostensibly as oversight over a New York State criminal prosecution. Unfortunately for big Chief Yellow tie, the Congress has no oversight powers over the State of New York. El Kabong made that clear in his lawsuit calling it a “Brazen and unconstitutional attack” on New York State sovereignty.

Most seventh-grade civics students already understand this principle. The Manhattan DA can’t investigate Congress, and Congress can’t investigate the Manhattan DA. Seems simple enough to me. But big Chief Yellow tie has been issuing Congressional subpoenas trying to get the principals in a currently ongoing investigation to publicly testify about it.

But what Jimi is after, is information which he can then funnel to the defendant in the case. This could be bigger than a Clarence Thomas Christmas present. You see, in a civil suit there is discovery. Jordan and the whole stunt cycle committee at the Honeycomb hideout. Will be forced to turn over their emails and all communications with the criminal defendant, aka Individual one.

It means that Jimi has suddenly switched places from aggressor to defendant. And if the revelations play out like El Kabong anticipates, Jimi is going to get El Kabonged. If the emails show big Chief Yellow tie has been in contact with Individual one. Jimi is looking at least an ethics violation and at worst charges of Obstruction of Justice. Oh, what tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.

Chief Yellow tie apes to the Fox News circus, that it’s El Kabong who is interfering in his investigation. And Fox News as might be expected, accepts that as sound judgement. Because their audience doesn’t know the damn difference.

The precedent was set in the famous identity theft case of Shit vs. Shinola. The Manhattan prosecutor is doing his job. And Jimi is investigating where he has no power to investigate. Do you hear that sound Jimi? That’s Niagara Falls coming, you better close up your barrel. You’re about to go for a ride.

Throw it on the fire with Marge Greene the little red smurf that couldn’t and George Santos, the little red Drag queen that could, and Kevin McCarthy, aka Captain Failure. The Republican led Congress is a train wreck which is only getting worse.

“First, they indict a president for no crime,” Jimi wrote. “Then, they sue to block congressional oversight when we ask questions about the federal funds they say they used to do it.” – Dim Jim Jordan

Most people familiar with the legal system understand the wisdom of not helping your adversary by saying or doing things which might help their case. “First, they indict a president for no crime,” How does Jimi know there was no crime? The Grand Jury indicted the Orange Apocalypse on 34 charges. Jimi shows bias and contempt for the legal system. Which only undercuts his own position, illustrating his hubris and latent stupidity.

“Then, they sue to block Congressional oversight” But Congress hasn’t any oversight powers over New York State courts. Big Chief Yellow tie presumes New York State courts operate with Federal funds. The prosecutors say they used $5,000 in Federal Funds to get Trump’s tax returns. That money was spent because Trump refused to release them. Not just bias, but ignorance and bias. The old legal maxim applies, “When in doubt shut your mouth.”

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
― Mark Twain

If there is just one email or communication between Chief Yellow Tie and the Jimi Jordan stunt cycle tour and Individual one. Mentioning the New York State case, guess who else is on the hook for Obstruction of Justice? That’s right, Individual one!  The irony being that Individual one might receive only fines on the 34 charges and six months at Riker’s Island for Obstruction of Justice.

Now, who is weaponizing government again? Acting as a covert agent for a criminal defendant. But why all the effort in a case Republicans call “weak.” Because it has the same smell as “I want you to find me…”

Trump is collapsing in the polls as even most Republicans now dislike the idea of another Trump Presidency. Clearly, bullshit fatigue is setting in. But as illustrated by the Jimi Jordan stunt cycle, the cult is in full command of the Republican Party.

Donald Trump is already penciled in as the Party nominee even before the first vote is cast. Der Fuhrer can do no wrong! The Republican Party now faces a wave of stay the fuck home, like none other ever seen before in our history.

Most voters even Republicans, outside the Fox News temple of ignorance understand that Trump cannot win a national election. He inspires his opponents to vote and underwhelms his base to stay home.

It is a fool’s errand carrying a large lump of ice to the North Pole. And one errand that Chief Yellow tie is uniquely qualified to perform. Bye, bye Jimi! As we move towards the election and the Georgia Case against Trump begins to flower. The Trump cult will remember the 25% popularity and 61% negative approval rating as, the good old days.

Setting the stage for the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee to be the Titanic Zombie Dance Party. I can hardly wait for Trump to give his keynote address.

“They’re picking on me! The Democrats cheated me! The elections are fixed! What about Hillary Clinton’s emails and Hunter Biden’s laptop?” I can only imagine the convention floor will be half empty and bars completely full.

The Generals always fight the last war, and the Republicans are fighting the last campaign. Trump’s last campaign and the Republicans last campaign as well. Assisted in their self-destruction by the likes of Jimi Jordan, Marge traitor Greene and Clarence (For me?) Thomas.

The Republicans finding themselves on the wrong side of every issue Americans actually care about. Guns, Abortion, and the rising Republican tide of Fascism. The banning of books and the persecution of minorities.   

It’s all over but for the drinking of the ceremonial Kool Aid and the bobbing for hand grenades.

“Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.” ― Groucho Marx