By David Glenn Cox
It is an embarrassment of riches. There is so much going on in so many directions. Take your pick, Teddy Cruz and his little treason talk musing how to overthrow the government. Or the Republicans in the Montana legislature learning nothing from the Tennessee three.
Disney is suing Ron DeSantis, and I hate to use the term slam dunk. But as Disney aptly points out in their complaint. Florida had no issues with how Disney was running their affairs, until they dared to disagree with the Florida Fuhrer.
The Tucker saga begins to take on a life of its own. So many angles to choose from. Was Tucker getting a little too big for his britches? Was Tucker making them nervous upstairs with the religious racist crazy talk? Or was it just his mouthing off about his bosses at Fox? You can tell all the tall tales and cast all the innuendos you like on the airwaves. But you better watch your mouth talking about your boss son. Heck, everybody knows that.
My personal favorite is a hybrid theory. Tucker was getting a little too big for his britches and thought that he was Fox News. But Tucker’s toxicity had run off all the “Blue Chip” advertisers. So, while his audience numbers were great, his revenue numbers were terrible. Rupert Murdoch doesn’t run this place just to attract young girls you know. No bucks no Buck Rogers.
Tucker’s creepy religious speech about evil didn’t help matters any. But his explicit emails about his female boss might have been the final straw before management decided to pull the trigger and escort this heckerped off the property. The visual is hysterical. Tucker with a printer paper box in his arms filled with his personal belongings being walked to the front door by a security guard.
Everyone is speculating where Tucker will go next. He’ll go to hell that’s where he’ll go. Tucker’s show is gone but Tucker’s still under contract for the next eighteen months. He will have a year and a half to sit at home and cool his heals, until he’s cold product.
But you know, this is the sensitive crowd. And any little thing tends to set them off. Beer cans, Keurig machines or even prosecutions of former Presidents. The ratings for Tucker’s former spot were the lowest in more than twenty years. “Tuckers off tonight. I’m RuPaul sitting in.” While the Newsmax ratings jumped fivefold.
Supreme Court advocate for hire, Neil Gorsuch has some splainin to do. But in true Supreme Court “Fuck you!” fashion will say nothing. Neil sold his old fishing cabin on the scenic Colorado River and cleared between a quarter and half a million dollars on the deal. In true Clarence Thomas style, he sold it to a law firm that’s had 22 cases before the (term used loosely) Court. It’s like that Space X rocket, you can only lose so many engines before the damn thing goes out of control.
It’s sad that Clarence Thomas gets a boat ride. Some bubbly a couple of cupie dolls and gets his mother’s house fixed up, while Gorsuch gets straight cash on the barrelhead. Is there no equal corruption before the law? Chief Justice John Roberts has nothing to say. No news is good news and besides, “Fuck you!” I don’t have to talk to you little people if I don’t want too. So there, what are you going to do about it, huh? So there! Eat it! Eat it raw!
Amidst all the tumult, Joe Biden calmly announces his plans for reelection in the middle of a Republican pie fight and barroom brawl. Trump in typical Trump fashion, makes his usual unhinged comments on his social media page all about poor, poor Donald Trump. Using his favorite adjectives of “scam” and “witch hunt” to describe his civil prosecution for rape. But the judge in the case was having none of it and called Trump’s attorney before the bench and read him the riot act.
Trump’s attorney answered meekly, “I’ll talk to him.“ The judge was euphemistically describing an all-expense paid week in the Graybar hotel if Trump doesn’t shut his yap. Stop! I can hardly stand it!
There’s a visual for you. “Hey old timer, what cha in for?” But it would probably be more like “Goodfellas” Deluxe accommodations with a spray-painted gold toilet. Is there anything you need sir? Is there anything we can get for you sir? But just the idea of an ankle bracelet on the orange apocalypse makes me lose it.
The Trump campaign has released a new attack ad flogging the dead horse of the Ron DeSantis campaign. He’s dead already, move on!
Garsh, floods an insurance crisis and now Disney is suing little Ronnie. Gee, if only Ronnie would stop by Florida sometime, if just to pick up his mail. He’s not running for President you know. He was, but it’s only a pipe dream and fantasy/vanity run now.
Kevin McCarthy gets his vote on his dead-on arrival budget plan. Playing the old percentages game. The Republicans don’t dare name the cuts they want to make. So instead propose across the board percentages budget cuts. Which sounds good to hoosters in the hustings and the Fox/Newsmax low IQ voters crowd.
But Kevin and company have already been eclipsed by the crazy. A 50% reduction in cancer research, 20% cut for the VA and drastic cuts for border security! What? What? What? Cutting border security? That dog won’t hunt! What about that wall Trump built that Joe Biden has been hiding? It’s a billionaires laundry list of soft-core porn.
There is no other way to explain it; the Republicans have lost their damn minds and it’s coming apart at the seams. There was no face for Transgenders, but there is now. Good Job Republicans! After not allowing Zooey Zephyr to speak a protest ensued. In response to the protest as a punishment the Montana Republicans will not allow Zephyr to speak for the rest of the session. See how that works? Letter from the Birmingham Jail? Never heard of it.
If you sat down and tried to map out a strategy that would tear the Republican Party apart from the inside, you couldn’t do it! Jack Smith has asked for copies of Teddy Cruz’s little treason talk. It is blatant and clear and must be prosecuted. Irony, sweet, sweet Irony would have Ted introduced to his cellmate as a guy they call on the yard orange Don. Or maybe Bubba, “You’re a pretty man. I likes your beard.” I can see Ted now out in the yard talking to Morgan Freeman about a rock hammer.
Will Fox News survive the terrible Tucker tantrum? Will treasonous Ted Cruz climb the scaffold as all traitors should. And Trump, and Trump and Trump! Leaving crazy Kevin and his three-ring flea circus eclipsed by the crazy.
“This is not a book that should be set aside lightly – it should be flung with great force.”― Groucho Marx
Love it, as usual, but you outdid yourself on this one!
I’d like to take credit but they made it so easy!
You really can’t help but just stare in awe at the whole spectacle, can you? I know I can’t.
It’s like I said the other day, It’s the Titanic and Custer Last Stand. And the Space shuttle disaster all at once. I’m loving it. The news is the funniest show on television.
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