Great Moments in Cluelessness

By David Glenn Cox

Hang on, it was another guy! It was another guy in the same fraternity. Besides, if you’ve seen one drunken Frat boy with his dick hangin out at a party. Well, they all begin to look alike see. You could have been mistaken. It is at least possible that it wasn’t Brett Kavanagh swinging his meat in the breeze. It was another guy, wasn’t it?

 And that’s the way the report read going into the Senate Confirmation. But it was probably some other guy.

Holy Smokes! It’s Friday and yet another 5- star Supreme Court scandal. Yeah, it was old Jack Maxey! Oh sure, that’s who it was everybody remembers ole Jack swinging Maxey’s meat wagon! Put a few beers in him and smoke a bowl or two, and he was bound to put on a show! He’d put Train, Train on the stereo, real loud. And then make like a Train whistle! Naw, I’m almost certain that was Jack with the short pole pocket fisherman stuff. That wasn’t Brett.

As Chief Wigwams would say, “That’s some real good work there boys.” Not what you’d call the scientific method exactly. “Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. She says it was him, and he says it wasn’t. Who can figure it out? It was probably some other guy probably.” But the flies begin to gather around this turd.

Ole Jack Maxey was still a High School boy in short pants when the event occurred. Oops! And I’m not hard guy to get along with. I won’t let someone getting drunk and acting crazy once in college keep him off the Supreme Court. That happens sometimes, or so I’ve heard. Only, when you put this on the fire with Brett’s other relationship studies and problems with boundaries. I begin to smell a Clarence Thomas.

What do we know for sure? Brett lied. And was assisted in lying by the Republicans in the Senate. And by virtue of that lie Brett’s credibility falls to zero. Because there is only one reason to lie about something like that. And that one lie erodes the rest of his protestations of innocence. His position is a position of trust, and he lies. If it were only this, I’d let it go.

This is just the latest revelation, the exception that proves the rule. What else is true? But it would appear we have a staffing problem. Maybe the Supreme Court is way too small. Too easy for one side to gain political advantage and run amuck. Too much power in too few hands. In a 5 to 4 or a 6 to 3 split. Those one or two votes become crucial to the survival of your planet polluting profit making industry. Buy his house, take him for a boat ride. Give his wife some money.

For Christ’s sake, drive a dump truck full of money to his house and dump on his front lawn if you must. There is no top number on power. And that explains a lot. That explains why Dred Scott was still property. It explains why child labor was considered constitutional and ditto Brown vs. Board of Education.

Now, toss Brett into that environment and tell me what you forecast for the future swami. I’m thinking twenty-four justices working in two separate groups. That would meet in full council on the difficult cases or where there is legal division. Make those billionaires spend till it hurts. That’s my motto. If we can’t get the graft out of the Supreme Court, let’s at least make it expensive for them.  You would need two or three super yachts to wine and dine half that many justices.

Those billionaires would need their own travel agency. And the good news is the courts both adjourn at the same time, so you couldn’t stagger their entertainment. You’d need all three yachts and both corporate jets on alternating weeks, just get to half of the twenty-four Justices.

Plus, the cost of buying and repairing twenty-four Mother’s homes. You know, I’m just saying. But Elvis bought his mother a nice house to live in when he made it big. You’d need to put a lawyer on staff just to handle all the closings. Maybe even your own construction company to handle all the free repairs. A literal cottage industry.

Now John Roberts could have spoken to Congress and maybe diffused some of these controversies by heading them off at the pass at least. He could have said, “I’ll look into it. I’ll talk to him about it. He doesn’t do that anymore. Not lately at least.”

 Instead, the mess is in and stews in the pot and won’t go away. But the court considers themselves the Gods on Mount Olympus. They don’t have to speak to mere mortals if they don’t feel like it. Twenty-four Justices could fix that attitude problem in a heartbeat. You could remove them two at a time if you needed and never know they were gone. They would still be important but not irreplaceable.

Poor, poor, Tucker fucker breaks his silence with a cryptic message for his followers. The blue bird sits on the red barn. Paul is very tired. Get your Adidas ready, the comet comes soon! It boils down to Tucker was fired because he was right. And whenever someone is right other people don’t like him because he is always right, and they are not. It’s a real field case study of borderline paranoid narcissism.

They fired ME! Me! When I am right, and they know it! I’m always right about everything. So, they became envious of my rightness and fired Me! Me!

Montana’s Zooey Zephyr after being excommunicated from her lawfully elected legislative seat. Wages her protest from the public spaces inside of the state Capital. She was asked to leave by Montana House Speaker Matt Regier (R) Zephyr then explained, “this is public space and I can sit here if I want.” Regier then realized he was allowing Zephyr to speak. And that’s how this all got started in the first place  Once they tried to silence her, they gave her a louder voice.

Rieger understanding his error retreated immediately and sends the Captain of Security to attempt to evict Zephyr from the snack bar. She asks, “why?” This is great, you’ll like this one. As he told her for safety reasons. Her sitting there on that public bench could create a safety hazard in the snack bar. But it gets even better. As great moments in cluelessness brings you this! As the Captain of Security then tells Zephyr. “You sure are making my job hard.” Yeah, right Bob, she’s making your job hard.

“You do not become a ”dissident” just because you decide one day to take up this most unusual career. You are thrown into it by your personal sense of responsibility, combined with a complex set of external circumstances. You are cast out of the existing structures and placed in a position of conflict with them. It begins as an attempt to do your work well and ends with being branded an enemy of society.”― Vaclav Havel

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