This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Nikki Haley says she’d sign the 15-week abortion ban. Mike Pence says, Trump never would have left Afghanistan, treaty, or no treaty. Comical and mythical, wanna know what I’d do? Who cares what a Republican lottery long shot candidate thinks? Chris Christi says the spat between Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis is juvenile. No comment on Christi’s own spat with Mr. Trump.

The music goes round and round, and it comes out here. Making a faux noise for the faux circus. Let’s all make promises we’ll never in a million years have to keep! Let’s craft a culture war on hypotheticals. Nobody promises a new highway or building better schools. You get; “Do you know what I’d do? Squirrel! Gays! Drag Shows!”

Crafting a message of what? Republican chaos theory. Keep them jumping out of their skins over social issues ignoring the bigger picture of governance. Keep them worried about books in the grade school library rather than drawing their attention to real problems. Lauren Boebert squares off toe to toe, against Margie Traitor Greene in the thriller in the Thunder Dome! Showmanship over salesmanship. The message is…?

There is no message other than social complaint. Somebody’s doin something that doesn’t affect me personally, but I just don’t like it all the same! Secret societies and stealth entities are trying to take over your mind!

They’re trying to program you and groom your chidlren with dirty school books and with secret messages inside rock and roll records. (Add Theremin music here.) It is a theory probably easier to understand if you’re a little paranoid to begin with. Somebody out there is out to get you and only we can stop them! You know who I mean. Them. Those who shall be nameless and shapeless, those who dare think differently.

“What is objectionable, what is dangerous about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents.” ― Robert F. Kennedy

Let’s call them…woke. It’s legal to be woke in all 50 states. There are no height or weight restrictions anyone can be woke, anything can be woke. It is the accusing finger which points back at the crowd. You had better toe the line my friend, or you might be woke too. “You are loyal comrade but are you loyal enough?” The State Department is full of Communists, you know. And the FBI is crooked. Thank God for ole Joe McCarthy, huh? Roll up, roll up, see the show.

The only real Republican issue of the campaign is Donald Trump vs. Donald Trump’s legal woes with Ron DeSantis waiting in the wings in case of a legal thunderbolt. Ron is term limited in Florida and so his clock is running. The moon and the tides will never be right again, it’s now or never! I feel certain that Mr. DeSantis like myself. Hoped the Trump phenomenon would have broken and faded some by now, like the yoyo, the mechanical bull or lawn darts.

Ron was going to be the front runner in a hypothetical race where Trump had faded into the crowd. But because that didn’t happen, DeSantis must rub fenders while basically agreeing with Trump. Careful not to come right out and criticize Trump’s criminality. Careful, oh, don’t make him angry! Just run your race, stay in your own lane and ignore the elephant in the room. (Pun intended) Waiting for the lighting and praying for rain!

So, Ron DeSantis has sculpted his rental agreement with the Florida Governor’s office to allow high-profile social issues to aggrandize his career. Thus furthering his chances of getting the hell out of there. Quick, before the ghosts rise to haunt and the chickens begin to come home to roost. As one by one, the court cases of his legacy are being struck down.

Again and again, the polls show the same thing. The longer the public is exposed to Ron DeSantis the less they like him. I call it the Richard Nixon syndrome or the salesman’s complaint. Sales people who push too hard trying to make the sale until you don’t like them anymore. Donald Trump is firmly in control of 33 1/3 of the Republican Party. If Ron DeSantis loses even 17% over likability issues, it’s all over. DeSantis’s only hope is a judicial thunderbolt to elevate him from young pretender status.

Some event natural or otherwise to remove Trump from the race. The rats are deserting the sinking ship and prosecutors spoke with Mr. Giuliani under a non-incrimination proffer for eight hours. If you want to save your ass Rudy, this is probably your last shot at it. It’s Rudy’s time to sing like the Metropolitan Opera with a get out of jail free card in his hand. Now or never.

The legal cases against Trump grow daily exponentially. But fact has no effect whatsoever on the Trump supporters. The Trump number is solid and unbending. You can’t change their minds with facts. Like a Godzilla movie our legal weapons appear to be useless against him. Wait until they try and take Trump into custody and watch that Republican paranoia kick in. It’s the Masons! It’s Antifa! It’s the Deep State!

The Republican House majority attempts to nullify the Trump impeachments like that will change anything.  This was their agenda? White washing history? Clean up in aisle five? Who gains from this?  “We move that Donald Trump wasn’t impeached twice!” Republican chaos theory, keep them too beleaguered with bullshit to see what’s really going on. To see who is really paying the bills and what they get for their money.

Shaping opinion with smoke and calliope music. Fantasy and fairy stories. A truly issue free campaign of things our polling says you don’t like very much. That’s what we sell, only what you want to hear!

Why, when I’m elected President, I’ll sign that 15-week abortion ban! I’ll make the pigeons fly backwards. And if Mr. Trump had listened to me, we never would have left Afghanistan. Why, if I were President, you’d be home by now.

“Yes, the future is a bit like having bees live in your head.” – The Firesign Theater