This Carbon Based Life

By David Cox

Ron DeSantis has a message for America. They are picking on me! Ron is a man with a brilliant future behind him. He has made his brand by being outspoken in his war on “wokeness.” After his book banning’s and Mickey Mouse bashings have brought him national attention, they have failed to bring him positive poll numbers. So, do you know who’s fault that is? Obviously, that’s the media’s fault! Those bastards!

“Well, I think if you look at the people like the corporate media, who are they going after?” he said. “Who do they not want to be the nominee? They’re going after me.” 

Now, let’s be analytical about this. You have a full scrum of Republican candidates all scrambling for the nomination and DeSantis is running second behind the big Cheeto. His campaign has been faltering and his poll numbers are in a slow decline. Ronnie’s whole persona has been the tough guy ready to rumble with the dark woke forces. And now a year out from the convention, Fonzie begins to whine like a rusty yard gate.

“So, I think if you look at all these people that are responsible for a lot of the ills in our society, they’re targeting me as the person they don’t want to see as the candidate,”

Translate: I’m unpopular, and it’s all your fault! The President of Mexico told Americans not to vote for me! The President of Mexico! Jesus, everybody listens to him!

Yeah, this is all a plot by bad people out to get Ronnie. Bad people are out to get me! You’re not going to let them get away with that, are you? Let’s all sing along, Paranoia, it’s just Paranoia, everybody’s out to get me!

The media is giving Donald Trump a free ride, aren’t they? They don’t want to see Ron win the nomination cause he’s tough. So, they just let Trump slide.

In all honesty, Ron has been running for the Presidency for two years. Every move has been calculated to garner national attention in the hope the big Cheeto would flame out of the equation. Ron had squirreled away his political capital for the big push to gain front runner status that would help him coast to the nomination. But the big Cheeto still remains and that leaves Ronnie under water. How can he out Cheeto the big Cheeto?

Trump has been in the lead from the very start and little Ronnie has been a distant second all along. That’s all the media fault! Dammit, they’re picking on me! I’m running second and it’s all the media’s fault!

I have, “The best record of defeating the left.” Where exactly has Ronnie defeated the left? He’s being sued by Disney for retaliation. Conventions are cancelling like flowers in spring. Migrant workers are fleeing the state causing a labor shortage. Florida is facing an insurance crisis and a housing crisis, but he’s taken Roberto Clemente’s life story off school library shelves.

Even Ron’s own campaign has complained about the headwinds of running against Donald Trump. When the going gets tough, the tough get going over to Fox News. To whine because he’s dropped his ice cream cone in the sand.

Trump routinely bashes DeSantis for lacking personality. And Trump is correct, little Ronnie comes off as petulant and pouting. His persona is the little tough guy the Miami Mussolini. The big bad wolf is going to blow down your woke houses of straw with no time left over to kiss babies. The minor league phenom is struggling in the big leagues. It is a bad look, and it is premature for DeSantis to cry and whine. There will be plenty time for Ronnie to squirt tears and point fingers later.

Ronnie should put his head down and keep campaigning. Trump has his own troubles, and Ronnie should highlight Trump’s legal perils, but he can’t because he’s too afraid of Trump. Too afraid to fight back. If he says anything against Trump it might hurt little Ronnies own popularity.

There is his problem in a nut shell. He doesn’t have the balls to stand up against the orange elephant in the room. As things stand Trump is going to win the Republican nomination in a cake walk. But Ronnie is chained to the big lie foisted by Trump. Ron DeSantis must go along with the big lie.

Too afraid to take a swing at the orange Cheeto. Too afraid to break out of the mold. Too afraid to break the spell. The bully too afraid to fight back. And yet he wonders why his numbers are falling. If you want to be the champ, you have to beat the champ. Or you can just blame the media.

The DeSantis pity party typifies Republican misfortunes. Marge Tater Greene was ejected from the Free dumb caucus. Malaria Trump has disappeared, but the new landscaping looks nice. The Michigan GOP meeting erupted into a brawl after the committee met behind closed doors. Somebody flipped somebody off. Then somebody kicked somebody in the nuts. Then somebody called the police and then somebody went to the hospital with a broken rib.

Seven GOP state’s attorney generals sent a threatening letter to Target. Because the Party that believes in letting the free-market work and eschews government interference. Takes offense at Target’s LBGTQ pride clothing line for children, calling it potentially illegal. They are threatening to sue because they claim it sexualizes children.

But the last time I checked; children don’t buy clothes at Target their parents do.  They further imply Target is making potentially unprofitable decisions that are a violation of the company’s fiduciary duties and not in the best interests of stockholders.

Scientists say that carbon fiber is as strong as steel but isn’t exactly like steel. If you build a steel submarine, it’s just as strong after fifty dives as it was after the first dive. With carbon fiber that’s not always so. Carbon fiber construction are strands wound in a medium in layers. It works good on airplanes because the pressure is slight and, on the inside, pushing out. With a submarine the pressure is on the outside and pushing in, and those layers can begin to delaminate from the inside. Which means, you’ll never know about it, until you find out the hard way.

The Republican Party is delaminating, and it is doubtful they will reach their goal. And even if they do, they will find it is only a graveyard that should have been left alone.

“Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.” ― John F. Kennedy