This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

What can be said about this tawdry situation? It’s the difference between stepping on something and grinding it under the heel of your boot. Billboards along the highway say, “NO JIM JORDAN! No! No!” Blimps circle overhead flashing their message, “No! No! No!” Small aircraft are pulling banners along the horizon “No!” Sky writers in inverted acrobatics are writing, “Surrender Jim!”

And as the second Jim Jordan assault on the summit sinks back down the hill, like so much ooze. Reports of threats, death threats and intimidation on fellow Republicans appear for not supporting the Jimmy Jordan Experience.  Now who does that sound like to you? I mean, if you were to take just one blind guess, one shot in the dark at who might possibly be behind those threats? Just anyone! Who would you pick?

Jim’s track record would lead us to believe that since Jim hasn’t accomplished anything in Congress, in past seventeen years yet so far. So, carrying out a death threat would be a rather tall order beyond Jim’s scope of ability. I was attacked by a man wearing a ski mask and a yellow tie.

Jimmy is tied up in January 6^th up to his tiny little nut sack. That’s the leverage; Trump owns Jordan’s soul. Willingly wittingly unwillingly unwittingly Jordan is the zombie acting at the will of his political handler in orange. Trying to outrun the shadow of January 6^th which follows and haunts Jim. He belongs in a prison not at a podium.

So maybe if Jimmy Jordan can help to save Trump, then Trump can help to save Jimmy Jordan. But a careful analysis of Trump history would lead one to the opposite conclusion. Trump has thrown nearly everyone he has ever known in life under the bus when it suited him. So, either young Jim is quite dim and naive, or Trump’s got something on him. That’s the way the Don plays, for keeps.

Maybe some testimony from some former wrestler at The Ohio State University. Maybe some damaging evidence that Jim wasn’t as dumb as he looks or let’s on. Something like that would effectively end Jim’s career immediately. The sex scandal has been lingering in the background for years. What did Jim know and when did he know it? Jim always said, “I know nothing!” And that was always easy enough to believe about Jim. But if someone, some eyewitness were to step forward…?

This makes Jim what intelligence sources might call “vulnerable to blackmail.” It could be Jim’s actions on January 6^th might have been motivated by blackmail. It could explain a lot. Jim’s refusal to testify because he was ordered not to testify. It could be just a standard cover his ass. But this is Jim Jordan, this is Jell-O man and not Iron man.

Jim Jordan the speaker candidate is actually Jim Jordan the meat puppet, He’s strapped to the front of the old Trumpmobile as a hood ornament, as the Trumpmobile tries to crash through the gates of democracy. A droid, a Manchurian Candidate in a yellow tie out to do as he’s told, or else.

Pay little attention to them when they are speaking, watch them closely when they go silent. Matt Gaetz has taken to his submarine and is submerged and hiding out of sight at periscope depth. Matt Gaetz kicked over the first Domino and started this train a running. “Kevin lied!” Now this plague has been visited upon us, and Matt’s nowhere to be found.

When Trump first suggested he liked the idea of Jimmy as speaker. A shockwave reverberated through the Republican Congress. Trump’s statement of support is one of the leading causes of resistance to Jordan. Those Republicans who know Donald Trump best, could immediately see what Trump was trying to do. What Trump Is trying to do! So, Trump shuts up about Jordan and made no more comments of support for his little buddy.

Jimmy might be the speaker today; if it hadn’t been for Trump opening his big yap. Loose lips sink ships.

Jimmy lost yesterday and Jimmy lost today, and Jimmy will lose again tomorrow. It should be clear to even the most diehard Republican that Jimmy is not going to work out. Thanks for playing the game, we have some lovely parting gifts, including luggage from American Tourister. Steve Scalise stepped aside when it became clear they didn’t have the votes. Why won’t Jim? Because maybe he can’t step aside.

There are moves afoot to slide Patrick McHenry into the speaker’s chair through the backdoor. Making McHenry the speaker without all the bells and whistles. But McHenry is Kevin McCarthy’s right-hand man, Kevin’s assistant. All of this commotion just to fire Kevin and install his assistant while attempting to put Humpty dumpty back on his throne?

That just won’t do, so Jim must prepare himself for the next round. If Jimmy doesn’t win, the plot fails. And Donald Trump fails in his zombie attempt to co-op the House of Representatives. To wreck his vengeance and seek retribution for his prosecution. To shut down the government and create pandemonium.

Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell was asked for his view on the speaker’s battle. Mitch didn’t answer, “Fuck you! Leave me out of this! I don’t frolic in crazy town after dark!” Instead, he just smiled and said, “Not my department!” But he meant the other. I know he did, his smile said so. Mitch is  unwilling to soil his hands helping fellow Republicans out of the latrine.

Jim Jordan received less support in his second attempt and Jim’s failure in his third attempt is already written in the stars. This is a battle the seditionist caucus wants to fight! They want to shut down the government in the name of Donald Trump. This is Trump’s revenge, “You come after me and I’m coming after you!”

What does Trump say about this titanic Congressional power struggle? He says nothing and that speaks volumes!

“Today I know that all things are watching, that nothing goes unseen, that even wallpaper has a better memory than human beings.” ― Günter Grass