This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Once there was a time when Republicans had the best of both worlds. And all they had to do was wring their hands and squirt a few tears for those poor little babies and the money machine would open its mighty doors. The churches would open their orifices and invite them inside to speak about Jesus on Sunday. A sort of campaign inside of a campaign.

If elected, I will go to Washington and fight for them poor little babies. Then they would suggest some tweak or regulation change and call it a victory. They could then make headlines and still suck at the teat of the money machine. Then, some damn fool Republican prototypes got the laws changed and the Anti-abortion crowd as would be expected, largely went home. The cause is over and there are no new leaders for the cause because the cause is over.

And now the problems of demographics arise as many in a rising generation are strongly pro-choice. The Republican Party is clearly out of step with the younger voters. Also sometimes known as, the future of the Party. The Republican Party keeps losing elections and losing ground as the public recoils in horror against Republican theocratic rule. The social war is a self-inflicted wound for Republicans.

When Ron DeSantis fights with Mickey Mouse, all Republicans fight with Mickey Mouse. Painting the Party as punitive and small. The speaker’s fight with Jim Jordan and Steve Scalise makes the Party look sloppy and unable to control themselves. Matt Gaetz torpedoing speaker McCarthy looks cheap and predatory. Throw in Lauren “Beetlejuice” Boebert (always willing to lend a hand) and Marge Tater Greene and you have a circus atmosphere.

Banning books or hiding them behind curtains further upsets the public making Republicans synonymous with repressive. Teaching the younger generation with children to avoid Republicans. It’s not the Republican people they don’t like, it’s their policies.

Younger people are more concerned about the environment while Republicans pooh, pooh any suggestions of regulation or control. “Everything is fine! It’s always hot like this in Minneapolis in this part of November.” The Republicans rail against electric cars like they’re a personal insult when they’re just Republicans in the pocket and pay of the fossil fuel industry who must occasionally bray for their pay. Even basic science upsets them, And for the first time since the “dark ages” Republicans largely oppose science. What could go wrong?

Then of course there is the Orange Elephant in the room obliterating what it even means to be a Republican. The Party is struggling to maintain control with a subversive sect among them hell bent on self-destruction. A doomed orange Presidential campaign/Kamikaze mission. Serving everything from soup to nuts, but mainly nuts. Republicans debate and Trump counter programs across town, unwilling to give up the spotlight even for an hour.

From out of the mouths of babes, Vivek Ramaswamy says, “GOP has become a Party of losers!” You know, I’ve been trying to say that same thing myself now for quite some time, but I do appreciate his confirmation. Young Vivek says Republicans need to do a better job of crafting their message. Bingo! Crafting the message!

Only people don’t like their message. There is no way to sugar coat this turd. The public is pro reproductive rights and takes a dim view of Republicans trying to take their rights away. The public supports environmental legislation Republicans oppose. Parents want a good education for their children. Republicans scheme to defraud and defund public education. Fix this message! Pimp my Ride!

Fix my Pontiac Aztec and make her look sexy.

Tommy Tupperware has become the Republican poster child for pointless demonstrations. Taking the crown away from Matt Gaetz. But the home folks love him for it. For a Senator, it’s great! Refuse to do your job over a principle that’s none of your business. Make headlines, hurt people, and change nothing. “Gee, I wonder what the problem could be? Where is everybody?”

Even Republicans are trying to get Tommy to relent now because… it looks bad! A sore dumb sticking out in public. A Senate committee will try to short circuit Tommy in a bipartisan attempt to silence him. All a part of the Republican image problem.

The Party stalwarts and low IQ voters still love Trump. But how much do they love him? If asked, they will excitedly tell pollsters of their undying love. But will they get in the Oldsmobile and go vote for the old duffer, if wrestling is on TV? What is the fate of the down ballot Republicans? If Trump doesn’t draw them in to vote? It could be a dark night and a long cold winter for Republicans.

Headed for a budget shutdown Speaker Mike, what’s his name and his Republican majority were unable to agree on language in two documents needed to avert the shutdown. So, the Republicans called it a day and went home early for the weekend with their work unfinished. Some men earn their mediocrity through many long years of patient trial, and some have mediocrity thrust upon them. Mike’s off to kick ass start.

A political Party with an image/Trump problem. A Party Seig heiling while America zags. “Whatever it is, we’re against it!” Hoisted on their own petards. Once there was a time when Republicans wanted to get the government off of your back. Usurped by the church going morality police and their desire to save us all from ourselves through the love and constant persecution of Jesus.

“Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them.” ― Barry Goldwater