By David Glenn Cox
I have tried to stay away from the subject of Lauren Boebert. For the simple reason that when your life turns into the season finale episode of “The Trailer Park Boys” it seems unfair to dump on it even more. But Ms. Boebert just seems to bring it on herself like a slapstick comedy. Recently tweeting (X ing? Damn you Elon) about “The Biden crime family” on the same day her son was arrested for burglary. “Don’t open that door!”
An ugly divorce with restraining orders and incidents at local restaurants. Incidents with police reports at the house precipitating the divorce. A teenage boy with the issues of divorcing parents. Video of Ms. Boebert running up the Capitol steps late and locked out of a vote. The merry divorcee out for a night on the town with dinner and a show. “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!”
“Oh, it is too okay if I vape, I’m in Congress. Come on everybody, let’s all sing along! Isn’t that what you paid a $100 a ticket for? Isn’t that the correct etiquette for a Broadway show? To sing along with the buzzing bouncing bimbo? Makes you wonder if Ricky will ever get his grade ten. The self-inflicted wounds all done against the backdrop of the regular Lauren Boebert antics.
Cat fights with fellow mega/MAGA Dimwitt and fellow Republican Marge Traitor Greene. The two tangled up while arguing over who hated Joe Biden more. Ms. Boebert accused Greene of “stealing” her idea of impeaching Joe Biden. Because low rent Lauren claimed to have thought of it first. Like Julian thought of growing weed in the trailer before Ricky did. Then they argue over who was smarter.
Boebert is in trouble at home and goes district shopping. The home folks know you best and the polling looked dire. So, with her new freedom and a new zip code courtesy of the divorce allowing Ms. B jump into a crowded field of Republicans. And do you know what every crowded Republican field needs? More Republicans!
How bad was the polling at home to jump into a five-way race someplace new? Long established local boy Republicans and here comes Lauren from out of town asking, “Where’s MY desk?” Either Lauren is throwing a hail Mary, or she believes she can blow these shit kickers away with her name recognition alone.
But now, Ken Buck, incumbent congressman of the House seat in question has resigned, because he’s not a Trumpozoid. And Buck refuses to kiss the giant orange ass of the Trump cult. At first, Buck announced he would retire at the end of his term. Then, sick of the nonsense Buck announced, “Fuck you guys! I’m cleaning out my desk and letting you figure it out for yourselves. This was Buck’s raised middle finger exit interview salute to Mike Penile Euphemism and the Trumpozoids.
Just like Kevin McCarthy before, “You want it? You got it! And best of luck to you dipshit! Whittling down the Republicans already troubled house margin to one or two. But it means a special election to replace Buck. Lauren Boebert claims Buck is resigning his seat in Congress now, just to hurt Boebert’s chances. It had nothing to do with the MAGA morons in the House or the Trump digestion and complete absorption of the Republican Party. It was done just to hurt Lauren’s chances. Sheesh!
Self-absorbed much? The sun rises just for you Lauren?
Buck’s resignation is definitely not good news for the Boebert campaign. A campaign which recent polling has showed in trouble running fourth with Ken Buck or without Ken Buck. But a tree dies at its farthest branches first. Buck and Kevin McCarthy left willingly before this Republican Titanic sailed just knowing with a secret apprehension it would never arrive.
The crazy eight ball says, “All signs point to “No.” The Republican Party has money problems, the worst kind of problems a party can have. Because either your supporters have no money or are unwilling to part with it to support your campaign for some crazy reason, like some crazy Donald Trump.
Erratic, frantic, irascible, undependable, round and round she goes and where Trump stops nobody knows. Trump faces two opposing dilemmas; he must stir up the monkey house with frightening one syllable rhetoric while not frightening away the contributors.
Promising a bloodbath if Trump is not reelected might cheer the chimps in the cheap seats, but it clears out the VIP boxes. As CEO of American Widget company, a division of Widgetco International. I might agree with the conservative principles of the Republicans. But will find it difficult to rouse the board to donate to a candidate promising “a bloodbath.” That might be a hard check to explain to the stockholders at some later date. There’s no telling what he will say next and that’s risky business.
Trump’s rhetorical rage and going full Nazi points to the distress of his campaign. Talking about the untermunchin again to enrage the crowd. As the Trumpliner takes on water and the scandals and headlines grow. Trump has no other choice but to try and make a larger noise to distract his mentally deficient supporters.
But still the other question remains; Is Trump’s doughnut starting to lose its gray matter sprinkles? Is the cheese sliding off the cracker? Was Trump saying it was an elephant, just a lucky guess? Is Trump dusting off the toys in the attic? Trump claimed the other night he was having trouble reading the teleprompter. Was the teleprompter broken? Was the font incorrect or was it a cognition problem further down the line?
Are moths circling the orange porch light making it harder for Trump to read. Hamberders!
“Dictatorship, by whatever name, is founded on the doctrine that the individual amounts to nothing; that the State is the only one that counts; and that men and women and children were put on earth solely for the purpose of serving the state.” ― Harry S. Truman
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