By David Glenn Cox
Oh, cry me a river. Donald Trump continues on his poor me grievance campaign. Lamenting, he won’t be able to attend that important Congressional fundraiser like he had promised, because of his trial obligations. Darn, I sure hate missing standing around for hours and hours, smiling and getting my picture taken with strangers, while raising money for OTHER people.
Sure, sure, that’s what it is. It’s that darn court case. Like Trump doesn’t own a jet plane and doesn’t routinely fly cross country for personal appearances. But still, the naive belief exists that Donald Trump actually gives a shit about the Republican Party. Like a tapeworm cares about your diet. Driving the Republican Party like a rented mule with a damage waiver.
This is the identity crisis inside the Republican Party and the genesis of the Party divide. Donald Trump? Is he serious about running for office or is he just running from the law? How does Donald Trump project and represent the ideals of the modern Republican Party? After November, Donald Trump turns back into a pumpkin. What will be left of the Republican Party at that time? Where do they go from here?
Mike (penile euphemism) Johnson declares, “I will not resign!” Which is exactly what every politician says right before they resign. Moscow Marge Traitor Greene has a new play friend to join her in her petition for Johnson to quit. The Republicans have a majority of one as two Republicans now vote to bring down the house…yet again.
Kevin McCarthy says he was ousted because Matt Gaetz slept with a teenager. There are a million stories in the naked city. Johnson’s crime is that he was trying to accomplish something. You know, do his job. But with such a small party majority it is incumbent on Johnson to work with Democrats.
Johnson’s alleged crime…working with Democrats. Like something from a Monty Python skit, the more Moscow Marge assails Johnson for working with Democrats. The more she drives him into the arms of Democrats. Or Marge brings down the house yet again, heading into the elections.
Johnson wasn’t the first, second or third choice for speaker, but a compromise. The alternative to someone far worse. The Republicans went round and round separating the wheat from the chaff and Mike was the only candidate left standing erect. Who would be the next speaker candidate after Johnson? Remember now, the next Speaker will have even less power as the third choice in the twenty- seventh ballot.
Just stick your head through this hole and let us throw baseballs at you! I’m telling you, “This parrot is dead!” A job with few amenities outside of a corner office, a little better money, and a dedicated parking space. But the Free Dumb Caucus wants a complete shutdown. No cooperation and no conciliation! Curse you, Joe Biden!
These are the twin paths of the Republican Party. Either a future felon with zero care or concern about the state of the Party or a death wish cult. A cult intending on holding their breath until their districts turn blue. Playing to the crowd’s lesser motivations and conservative scare media. Only reacting, never acting, each grandstanding for their own personal adulation.
Jim Jordan declares, “No American will ever be searched without a warrant!” Tell that to the cop who chased a suspect half a mile before tackling them. Like he’s not going to search him. “Call downtown! We need a warrant! I don’t care what time it is!
Jordan only blovates for the photo op. He’s defending our freedom from an overreaching federal government! But, if you don’t get yourself arrested. You really don’t have to worry about it all that much. So, you could say Jordan’s concerns are more for those regularly accused of crimes. Meaninglessly appealing to the sovereign citizen “I know my rights!” crowd. Encouraging the “You’re not the boss of me!” folks. You have no jurisdiction! I’m not the all caps name!
A speaker with a majority of one needs only one enemy. And Moscow Marge Greene makes herself important by filling that role. Always reacting and never acting. It’s better to throw the baseballs than it is to catch them with your head. It is much easier to make a controversy about what someone else is doing than it is to actually accomplish anything themselves.
How can the Republican Party hope to prosper so conflicted? The price to get YOUR picture taken with Donald Trump at the fundraiser? A mere $50,000 [Cheap!] outrageous huh? If you think that’s outrageous, imagine the short line to get your picture taken with Donald Trump’s stand in, Tim Scott. Somehow, it’s just not going to be the same. But gee, Trump is real busy, burdened with his trial and all. “Darn it! I’ll really hate missing that!”
Trump is blowing off Party responsibilities while fleecing their pockets. He will take their money, but they won’t take his time. “Oh, sorry I couldn’t make it. Damn court cases.” A case of twenty-first Century bone spurs. What does Donald Trump do when he doesn’t want to do something? He makes an excuse. I really wanted to; I really did. But unfortunately, I couldn’t make it. But I really wanted to come!
I really wanted to come and see all my friends and stand around and be bored to tears, but it’s all these darn court cases! It’s not my fault I’m accused of all these crimes! It’s all everybody else’s fault. Darned old, crooked courts and crooked judges! But I’ll be sure to make it next time, I promise.
This Carbon Based Life 