This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

It’s hard to believe really, like the end of the Wizard of Oz. That’s all it took was a bucket of water? And nobody knew this about the witch. No one put together a rainy day, no witch? It all started simple enough. Donald Trump was rocking along having literally dodged a bullet. Joe Biden caught Covid, and Trump was riding along on a new crest of popularity. This is gonna be easy…they thought.

Joe Biden stepped down and their whole Republican game plan went right out the window. Then, like muddy footprints on a clean floor. Trump makes a disastrous choice as his running mate rivaling the choice of Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin! Straight out of the box, Sarah Palin. That’s bad, that’s real bad! But then, J.D. Vance makes it worse for himself by speaking. Cat lady huh?

It is really crazy what might set the American public off. LBJ picked his dog up by the ears and Nixon got caught smoking. And of course, Bill Clinton, but we all know what he did. James Carville called politics “Hollywood for ugly people.” It’s show business and if you lose the audience, it’s hard to get them back. There’s no second chance to make a good first impression. But these are Republicans and what do Republicans do when cornered by their own coarse remarks? Exactly! They double down on them!

I said cat lady, and I mean cat lady! And like a stain on white pants, now it just won’t go away. J.D,’s second remark had more impact on his own side of the street. As the Republicans began to wonder among themselves, if maybe the Fuhrer hadn’t made a mistake in choosing J.D. His connection to Project 2025 and his radical positions. His sudden name changes and his ability to spoil everything for the Republicans in November. Honestly, I did claim that Donald Trump would turn on his own VP. It doesn’t make me a genius; Trump turns on everybody eventually. But I never dreamed I’d see it happening this week.

Donald had one of his Hamberder rallies in North Carolina and struggled with pronunciations in a tongue-tied stutter. Then Trump confused Nikki Haley with Kamala Harris. What whoa! Whispers began to circulate, “Say, you know if Trump drifts completely off the map here. We’re going to be stuck with this Ohio chucklehead as OUR boss! Exactly! Then, that’s it for us!

 Off in the distance a fin breaks the dark surface of the water as the theme from “Jaws” plays in the background. “Looks like we’re going to need a bigger dumb ass!” You know the Democrats got themselves a woman. Maybe we need us one too! As the whispers grow louder. Dump him and get a woman someplace! Take Nikki Haley for instance. She’s a woman and she’ll do as she’s told! Sure, come on you can do it. The Democrats got to change candidates. So, why can’t we?

Maybe J.D. Vance can change his name to J.D. Pete Best. Sleep with one eye open baby and don’t drink anything you didn’t pour yourself! Living inside a personal Macbeth and feeling sleepy. That guy who invited himself to party that no one likes. Tolerated because he’s the boss’s friend and an outsider and an interloper in our affairs. And what’s more, he’s going to blow it for us in November.

This is where the subject of mental acuity rears its ugly head again. The insiders want someone else, after Trump picked this loose cannon missing a wheel. Would the insiders have dared to question der Fuhrer’s choice four years ago? Don’t look now, but your mental slip is showing.

Donald Trump is visibly shaken by the rise of Kamala Harris. They were all set to ride the “Old Joe” campaign into the White House. Now they face the criminal prosecutor versus a convicted felon. And we all know how that will likely turn out. Criminal prosecutors rarely lose debates with felons. The Trump campaign sputters and stutters about technicalities and just can’t say if they will debate right now. They FEAR of going on that stage with a doddering Trump. All which they had hoped to bludgeon Joe Biden with they must now dodge themselves. Now, every time Donald Trump chokes on a word or misidentifies someone the voters will take note. Who is that old man on the stage tonight?

The Republicans find themselves in quite a pickle. Act in haste and repent in leisure. Stuck with a squeaking wheel. Yet if they replace J.D. The message is confusion when the theme is the Fuhrer is never wrong. The Trump / Vance signs with Vance’s name crossed out and Nikki’s name  written in with a Sharpie. It’s never been done successfully before because it’s political suicide.

George McGovern chose Thomas Eagleton as his VP in 1972 and 18 days later he was out due to mental health issues. When the job is about making the right decisions that appears to be appears a poor start. It was a different time when you weren’t supposed to seek mental help. You were expected to be John Wayne and just deal with it yourself. See? Like it worked for Richard Nixon!

If they dump J.D., it will ruin them but if they don’t drop J.D., he will ruin them. But Donald Trump thought that they looked good together. When the job is about making the right decisions that appears to be a poor start. All these changes in the blinking of an eye. The sound of Humpty Dumpty hitting the floor while having his great fall.

“Sometimes a man wants to be stupid if it lets him do a thing his cleverness forbids.”
― John Steinbeck