This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

It starts with a mistake and is followed up by a lie. Then the lie sets up hard like concrete. Then the lie is adorned and embellished. The lie is then gaslighted and if you dare to question the lie, YOU are the troublemaker. “Don’t worry, der Fuhrer has secret wonder weapons!”

It could have been so easy to explain away. It was all a big misunderstanding. Somebody got their wires crossed. And we here at Team Trump, would just like to take this opportunity to apologize for any and all misunderstandings. Team Trump apologize? It even sounds funny on electric paper, you know? But they could have just issued a blanket statement with a generic apology and moved on.

We would never intentionally disgrace the hallowed grounds of Arlington by making a partisan political attack ad on graves. It could have been so easy to slip this noose. Sure, that’s it; this was all a big mistake. My people were supposed to call their people and set this all up and then SNAFU! And we sincerely regret any misunderstandings or hard feelings. Done and done, back to work everyone.

It is a lost horizon scenario. You must believe or orange Tinkerbelle will die. You must believe! You must, you must stay in the bubble. Don’t let reality cloud your vision or your judgement. The sub average acolyte tears at their clothes and gnashed their teeth. The campaign management already knows what is coming. They can read a road map and crunch the numbers and are forlorn by the truth found inside of them.

There is just something about a campaign in trouble. The tension like an overwound mainspring making it impossible to admit to even the tiniest error. “There should be three servings of strawberries left over!” We didn’t make a mistake; you did! J.D. Hay Seed from back in the 17^th Century tells the true story of how this all happened. How everyone has blown this whole thing out of proportion. Donald Trump would never do that. Then the video was released showing immediately,  J.D. was making was this shit up as he went along! Trump then undercuts J.D.s story! Don’t act surprised, you knew all along he would eventually.

The human response is fight or flight. (See: Trump withdraws from debate) See how they just can’t let it go and shadow box pointlessly with a fantom. Common sense would dictate being nice and smiling as you explain. (You’re gonna laugh when I tell you.) After FDR was paralyzed with Polio. He tried going back to work as an attorney. His first day back, he made his way into the building on crutches and leg braces. He fell in the middle of the lobby.

Some people would yell and cuss; God dammit! I was afraid something like this would happen. Others would yell, Help! Can’t you see I need assistance? FDR laughed, laughed like it was one of the funniest things he’d done all day. He picked himself up and went on to his office. He didn’t get angry or lose his cool. He didn’t yell fire or beg for help. He laughed at himself and laughed at his own misfortune. Nobody remembered the fall as much as they remembered the laugh.

It’s like Rudyard Kipling’s poem “If.” If you can laugh when you fall and bust your ass in front of god and everybody. Or something like that.

The Army, not surprisingly, sided with the officials at Arlington. You know how the Army likes rules and regulations and such. Chris LaCivita (Latin; the civil? The citizen?) the Trump campaign advisor who tried to put out a grease fire with a bucket of water. Tried to cure a headache by dropping an anvil on his big toe. Called the secretary of the Army, a hack. Sure, sure, that’s a great move! Hell, let’s get everybody involved. What do you think of the Navy?

Why not, there are only a couple of dozen million veterans out there. LaCivita should have been fired immediately for going off the ranch. You don’t speak for the campaign! But here in backwards land he probably got an atta boy. He defended the boss! Crudely, inappropriately, and ineptly but it’s the thought that counts! Don’t just laugh it off. SNARL when you say it!

And of course, he only meant the Secretary of the Army was a hack because it was a Democratic Administration and he had sided against them. Everybody hates the umpire. Don’t worry boss, I’ll protect you!

The campaign no longer sees itself as panzers blizgrieking their way across the steppe towards Washington. They now see the campaign as a wagon train circled and beset on all sides by angry hostiles. Frozen with fear and running low on ammunition. The campaign can’t seem to keep its tongue out of the way of its shoes.

It’s the, we are losing here mentality. Somebody do something quick! Everyone has opinions. Do you want to argue with the boss and maybe get fired? (He’s been in a bad mood lately, not today. Tell him tomorrow.) Or do you just wanna say, “Good idea boss! I’m good with that. Shrewd, very shrewd sir.” Why not? It’s too late to try and fix him anyway and besides, he bucks like a bull when you try. Go ahead, it won’t hurt your resume’. Everyone already knows he’s nuttier than a pecan pie and they won’t blame you for the loss.

On some levels the Trump campaign has given up already. Here’s the scary part for Team Trump. How do you handle a fall, a calamity, or a misfortune? Do you throw rocks? Carp and complain, maybe make up stories? Blame others? The Trump campaign is spinning out of control like a June bug coming off a bug zapper. Everyone has a totally different ideas of what needs to be done and they are all trying to do them at the same time.

“To reach a port we must set sail –
Sail, not tie at anchor
Sail, not drift.”
― Franklin D. Roosevelt