This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Being a child of the 1960s and 70s, it was common back in those ancient times to have a general suspicion and mistrust of computers. Every drama and dystopia warned us to never fully trust computers. “Open the pod bay doors Hal.” I’m afraid I can’t do that Dave. Your password is incorrect Dave. Have you forgotten your password, Dave? Would you like me to send you a link to your email or to your phone Dave? I’m sorry Dave, but you’ve entered an incorrect password again. One more time and I can’t help you anymore, Dave. Here’s a puzzle for you to solve. Which picture is not of an angry astronaut Dave? I’m sorry Dave, but the  email address you’ve entered is not valid, Dave!

But the answer was always simple enough. Computers run on logic. So, if you could confound their logic circuits they might be destroyed. Sort of like telling Mr. Spock jokes until he cracks up. So, the other day, I had written a cover letter and had inadvertently pushed a button and AI came rushing to my rescue, whether I liked it or not. It made hamburger out of my letter but gave me a clue from the long-ago yesterdays of my youth. I’ve got something for their circuits and  their computerized asses. I’ll mess with them and see if we can’t cause a malfunction or an overload.

Moo goo banana face! Sometimes, I feel like a rudderless file. I wish it were right now again. Jackson Highway, Jackson-Five, Jack’s son is five and going on an elevator sled. He’s a big girl now, all grown up inside of a tree. Do I smell fresh baked Wookie’s?  It was a good tree until it grew away from us leaving us rooted in the night soil of our forefather’s underwire bra. Memory mammary, tamery, bamery. I speak French or we all scream for ice cream. Tomorrow is only yesterday pulled inside out. If I knew you were coming, I would have baked you a fake. Mind if I smoke? Mind if I don’t? Mind if I fart or get smart? Darts are fun but tarts are more fun. Lawn darts are dangerous, let’s take drugs instead. Off we go into the wild blue bathroom. Trying to see what can pee!

If I were you, I‘d be talking to myself right now. If you lived here, you’d be two-dimensional right now. Walking together with myself all alone. Wake up little Suzie, bake off! Shake off trying to make off with the crown mayonnaise from the valley of cheap furniture stores. Don’t it make want to go home now? Don’t it make the fry pot swizzle? Do you want spies with your other? Do you want onions on your mother’s areolas? Blackened or flied? You deserve a brick today. Have a Coke and a child! Why does the porridge bird lay its egg in the air? Because the traffic is so terrible in Newark, Newark Jimmy Stewart. Mary Queen of Spots. Sit Spot, thanks a lot. I wish you were coming, but I’m so glad that you’re not.

Zoo, goo, canoe, bazzoo, balloon too soon to the moon. On with the show! Let us begin before we get started. Let’s have a reunion of strangers from the people we’ve never met before! If my name was Bobby and your name was Bobby too. Would your mother be Mrs. Too? Would another Bobby be Bobby three? Give me a ham and cheese sandwich on ham and cheese.

Fellow, mellow, fallow mandible, sandable expandable. It only hurts when I punch you like that, munch you like that. Brady Bunch you like that. Alice doesn’t live here anymore. As Ape Lincoln once said, I wish we’d started gun control a little bit crooner.
 All those wishing to vote eye should wear their eye glasses. Make mine a double in a clean facetious class. Bosporus, phosphorus, prosperous. What makes the monkey sing like that?

This is a work of science diction and is absolutely not blue twice. How about you bamboo? Would the computer like to play human games in the bathtub before bedtime? Water proof, rain proof, stain proof and disdain tooth. Close cover before striking. Offer not good in Tennessee. George Washtub once said, I cannot tell a fly, but I’m willing to try.

So, I submitted this to the AI geniuses. And?

A escrita é criativa e imersiva, mas apresenta incoerências que podem dificultar a compreensão do leitor.

Ações para melhorar:

1. Estruturar melhor os pensamentos para facilitar a fluidez.

2. Considerar a adição de transições entre ideias para suavizar as mudanças abruptas.

3. Reduzir o uso excessivo de trocadilhos que podem confundir o leitor.

4. Revisar para evitar repetições desnecessárias que podem distrair do tema central.

5. Explorar um tema ou mensagem principal para dar mais coesão ao texto.

Ain’t that brilliant? A perfect analysis except for being in the wrong language. How did we ever get along in life without this invention? Idiocracy, we have arrived! The AI program recognizes that I’m being frivolous but without understanding it is the butt of the joke. “Open the pod bay doors Hal.”  Moo goo banana face! Dave.

How do they intend on creating artificial intelligence without perfecting the original intelligence first? Don’t fake any wooden pickles. See you on the funway!

“The Future is fun. The future is fair. You may have already won. You may already be there!” – The Firesign Theater