By David Glenn Cox
Apparently, the odd squad has held their secret little meeting and have come up with a new plan to salvage Donald Trump. What are we going to do about king Donald’s waning popularity? How can we make the dipshits forget about Donald and Jeffries’ penchant for young girls? Let’s try to buy them off! They’re stupid! They’ll fall for anything! We’re fiscal conservatives! Let’s give away free money! That ought to shut them up for a minute! Yes! Let’s buy them off!
The plan is circulating around Capitol hill for the old bonus check scam! We’ve fucked up everything and now are passing the savings on to YOU! And for the young people, let’s reclassify cannabis! Sure, you’ll like that, won’t you? Smoke up! The more you smoke, the better we look! Let’s give them Christmas in September! Here comes Santy Claus! Here comes Santy Claus, right down Santy Claus lane!
Make them forget all about Epstein and Maxwell, tariffs and a crashing economy with gifts and presents! Jingle bells, Jingle bells, swindle all the way. Here’s a check for you and a check for you! Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way! All of a sudden, the deficit doesn’t matter anymore. Free money dummy! Easy weed Tommy Chong! I’d like to see the Democrats vote against that!
King Donald said yesterday that if his meeting with Vladimir Putin doesn’t go well. He’ll walk away and say, “Good Luck!” That’s called setting expectations as low as possible. This is probably a big waste of time, but I’ll go anyway. Because it was, after all, my idea. Largely in part because our European allies have called Donald on the carpet and made it clear they won’t play along. Once the prospects looked so good! A chance to look presidential. A tough negotiator giving away things with both hands. Russia wants sanction relief and Trump was prepared to give it to them. Until those meddling Europeans got involved.
Russian companies are shutting down and others are working short hours because they can’t pay their workers. 20+ % interest rates and a worthless currency. These are truly dark days for the Kremlin. Look! Up in the sky! It’s a turd, it’s a fat turd! It’s a plane, it’s a fat orange plane! It’s Donald Trump! Coming to the rescue, from one authoritarian dictator to another! Here comes Santy Claus! Here comes Santy Claus right down Santy Claus lane! Until those meddling Europeans got involved!
A Federal Judge has refused to release grand jury testimony from the Ghislaine Maxwell case. Saying it doesn’t begin to meet the threshold. And there is nothing of importance in it. Or, in other words, another Trump diversionary trick (Hey look over there!) has failed. But the storm clouds are gathering and there’s big trouble brewing down in Dog Patch.
Marge Tater Greene has switched sides, calling Trump a fraud and a sellout. Which prompted Republican influencer and Trump side piece Laura Loomer to call Greene a “Low Life Degenerate” (Takes one to know one) and a “loud mouth bitch.” Okay, I’ll give her that one. The broken clock rule is still in effect here in a case where both sides can be correct. How do you get to be a Republican influencer? The same way Eva Braun got to be an influencer! You put on the knee pads and put a mushroomy thing into a random orifice.
This means war! And then they fired on Fort Dumpster! Fox News propagandist Mark Levin has labeled Greene as a “Lunatic with the IQ of a snail.” And when you’re right, you’re right! Greene fired back by saying, “Levin had lost his mind going on lunatic rants about her.” Girls, girls. Break this up!
“The man is calling for me to go to prison,” and “He’s a psychopath, he’s out of control, and it’s shocking that Fox News allows him to continue this way over a sitting member of Congress.” I’ve never been so insulted! (But stick around, it’s still early!) You see, if you happen to hear the beat of a different drummer. They’ll turn the slime machine on you! Over the weekend, Levin added “Marjorie Traitor Greene sounds like a lunatic and Marxist-Islamist Jew-hater, repeatedly stabs the president in the back, and trashes conservatives. “She’s a favorite and regular guest of the America-trashing fake MAGA podcasters and quoted often by the leftwing media. She has abandoned her congressional district. A complete embarrassment.”
Let’s do an inventory and see if he forgot anything. Marxist, check. Islamist, check. Stabs the president in the back, check. Jew-Hater, check. Fake MAGA, check. Trashes conservatives, check. Quoted by the leftwing media, check. Abandoned her district, check. Complete embarrassment? Just the cherry on top. But Levin left out “Inside stock trader and stock swindler.” Greene is a member of the House Homeland Security Committee and bought stock in Palantir Technologies in April. Then suddenly, out of the blue. Just like magic, Palantir was suddenly awarded a $30 million dollar contract by the Gestapo aka ICE. Greene’s stock purchases are up 142%. Maybe she’s just a smart investor? What do you think?
It illustrates that any real controversy is only to illuminate hoosters and weed benders of Fox News. There’s evidence of a real crime right in front of them and they ignore it. This is only professional wrestling fodder. “She run off with my wife! But then the bitch had the nerve to bring her back!” One scandal at a time. They don’t dare open that can of worms. Republicans are unpopular enough right now! So unpopular they think maybe the best course of action is to give away free money and free weed!
Meanwhile, Trump announces a takeover of Washington D.C. Because you just can’t ever be too unpopular! The king gives with one hand and takes with the other. One side works at rescue and salvation, while the other side is working towards self-destruction. Showing the two camps are diametrically opposed to one another. One side trying to shore up the base with giveaways, while the other side is trying to shore up the base with authoritarianism. Neither side listening to the other and a house divided against itself can’t stand.
“…I remain restless and dissatisfied; what I knot with my right hand, I undo with my left, what my left hand creates, my right fist shatters” ― Günter Grass
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