This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

War? What war? Who told you there was a war going on? It’s magic! It’s better than Houdini’s Metamorphosis! One, two, three, it’s not me! I turned on the Dumont, adjusting the tinfoil on the rabbit ears for best reception. Then, as the set warmed, I began hunting for the latest war news, but it was all gone. Where did it all go?

Record high oil prices, tankers in flames. Two! Count’ em, two! Opposing naval blockades, subject to go off at any moment in a location vital for the world’s transit of petroleum. Gosh, that sounds sort of important, doesn’t it? Seems newsworthy to me. But they’re painting over a whale mural in Dallas; that’s troubling. But the reason is more troubling. They’re painting over a landmark for a FIFA Soccer match. A temporary, one-day event.  

It’s almost as if the media has been told to hush. To cool it, “utshay upyay aboutyay ethay arway! Understandyay?” See? Mr. Trump didn’t blunder us and the world into a potential world war. What war? I did see Faux News masturbating over all those Boeing jets China just agreed to buy. A quick trip in the way-back machine. Set the time to last summer, location: Iowa, U.S.A. China agrees to buy a huge shipment of soybeans before the end of the year. Set the machine to Trump promising to build a wall and make Mexico pay for it. Mr. Trump wants a ballroom, but don’t worry, the billionaires are going to pay for it. The siren song remains the same.

Now, we’re going to put the way-back machine into high gear. Hold on, we’re headed for 1979 and the Iranian hostage crisis. The news is on every channel, and they number the days! HOSTAGE CRISIS DAY 167! The media hold ninety-minute news specials at night, marking the days. The Carter administration looked impotent, and the news media never let the American public forget it. President Carter was left with two choices, negotiate or bomb, and according to the media, both were the wrong choices. I’m not saying the administration didn’t make mistakes, but their mistakes were always amplified.

Trump blunders into a potential world war and nothing. Carter attempted a rescue mission which failed badly. Carter didn’t lead the rescue mission himself, but he might as well have. National News! Look what they did NOW! Oh my god, soldiers killed and equipment destroyed and we have nothing to show for it! (wrings hands nervously.) “I don’t know what the Carter Administration plans to do next, but it will probably be all wrong!” Trump illegally murders a religious leader and a head of state, (both War Crimes.) and bombs his country leading to all of this, and the news media has nothing to say about it? Isn’t it strange how they all get quiet at once, like that? Like crickets, “The media is the massage!”- Marshal McLuhan

The Trump administration lost a billion and a half dollars plus, on two AWACS airplanes left unprotected on the tarmac. That’s not news! Why would Americans want to hear how the war goes poorly? Why illustrate military incompetence? Those jets weren’t lost in combat. They were lost in incompetence. Someone forgot to promptly move them to safety before the shooting started. They wouldn’t dare! Not news!

A Faux News headline says; “President Xi offers his assistance to end the Iran war.” Isn’t that wonderful? What a nice man! From this angle, you can hardly tell that President Xi is considered this country’s number one adversary. This is how they sold our brave ally, Joe Stalin, to the American public during WW2. Just don’t mention the terror purges or the mass executions. Just think, a right-wing American media organization thinks maybe the communists might have a peace plan. Isn’t that wonderful? This is the pre-sell. Just to get you accustomed to the idea.

President Xi does have a peace plan, and he shared the details with Donald Trump. “You get that godamn strait open, and you do it now!” Mr. Trump says China agrees, Iran can’t have a nuclear bomb. They’ve agreed on that for over forty years ago now.

“Xi tells Trump, U.S. and China Could Clash Over Taiwan.” – NPR

What do you suppose brought up such a conversation as that? I’m just trying to make the point of the lengths the media will go to trying NOT to tell the truth. It’s a true statement, but it lacks the context of WHY the U.S. and China could come to blows. Why does Mr. Xi see war as a possibility? Three guesses. I suspect the conversation went something like this. President Xi: Why oh why, does America take it upon itself to bomb oil-bearing countries? You don’t ask anyone! You just do as you please. Why can’t China also do as she pleases?

Like my mother used to say, “Act in haste and repent in nuclear winter.”

Among the magical oddities is Mr. Trump’s disappearing box. Popgun Pete Hegseth had a bad day before Congress and the social sound bites were terrible. Put Pete in the box and he disappears for a few days. Hide out and let the news cycle die down. Like now; No war news!

“American Road Trip: Three Generations, Two Cars, 2,000 Miles on Route 66.” – USA Today

I wonder if they mentioned the soaring gas prices or why the prices were suddenly so high on this American road trip odyssey? Naw, this was an Americana dreamscape. They were celebrating the good ole days. No need to mention the Great Depression, which drove millions of desperate Americans down this road trying to escape poverty and hunger.

Very little coverage of Ka$h Patel. Yes, that is Ka$h’s preferred spelling of his name. Somehow, It makes me  think of Zap Brannigan. Zap, I mean Ka$h is suing that rag and their eight eyewitnesses for 250 million dollars. They say Ka$h likes to imbibe to excess. Ka$h says it’s all a dirty lie. Not the part about Ka$h having his own branded whiskey in personally autographed bottles he carries with him at all times. That part is true. Neat, huh? They debate the part about using FBI personnel to load cases of the stuff onto FBI aircraft. Get in the box Ka$h, it’s time to disappear for a few days.

Ka$h has his own branded whiskey which he carries in volume with himself at all times. But it’s dirty lie, he ever drinks the stuff.

“Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said. ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’

I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. There goes the shawl again!” ― Lewis Carroll