This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

The war is over! Or maybe not. But it could be. It might be. It all depends on who you ask. A Trump spokesman claimed the Strait of Hormuz was already half-way open. He didn’t specify which half. Here in Trumplandia, we listen very closely for all the pertinent details. It might mean you can sail half-way  in? Or it might mean, you might can sail half-way out. We have a foggy agreement here; few have seen. And maybe there will be a peace agreement signing in Europe, or maybe not. In either case, Donald Trump won’t be there. Think Trump, think MMA! Mentally Malfunctioning Adult.

Yes, world peace is nice, but it ain’t got nothing on fightin and scrapping and wrastling in the front yard. And the forecast for the Washington, D.C. metro area for tomorrow is for scattered showers. Hot and sticky with a 60% chance of rain, and I’m loving life. Oh, let it rain. It’s almost as if the heavens themselves have turned on Donald Trump. Trump’s big Yard Sale 250 has turned into a bust. First, the “C” list celebrity and near-celebrities began to back out. Now, whole states are backing out!

In my mind’s eye, I see this picture of a lonely, fat, old man in front of a barbecue grill wearing an apron, all alone. Holding a spatula and asking, “Does anyone want a burger?” The Trump team received a thousand tickets to the big yard match and began offering them to KMS or Known Maga Supporter celebrities, but with no known takers. It was a bad choice of days when it seemed that all the celebrities either had to wash their hair or fix their cars. It’s a sign of the times. The fair-weather friends fly away first. These celebrities no longer want their credentials and reputations burnished by their closeness to Donald Trump.

New revelations from behind the green curtain. Remember when Pam Bondi told Congress about the Epstein list being on her desk? That was the remark that got her fired. Her big mouth made what was only alleged to be real at the time, to be real, real! And then when the administration stonewalled and the list didn’t show up? It was all Pam’s fault. It’s all to be expected, a circle of cutthroats positioning themselves to replace Captain Orange Beard. I was taken by their position to have Tucker Carlson interview Ghislaine Maxwell.

Like it was a foregone conclusion or something, that Tucker and Maxwell would agree to do it. Like Tucker was their lowly stable boy who they ordered around at will. “Tucker! Come in here and Interview this woman! These are the questions we want asked. We want a spontaneous interview, so let’s practice.” The idea was shot down because it was a bad idea. But it certainly calls into question Tucker’s many other interviews. I mean a servant is one thing, but a stable boy is something else. A midnight cowboy waitin for a big spender on the street corner to sell himself to. I‘d hate for my name to be used professionally with such certainty.

Tucker really isn’t central to the story, but when you catch an insight and see what you weren’t supposed to see, you must appreciate what they are freely volunteering to you. Tucker is their paid shill. Like a pet monkey. He will say anything and defend any ugly position. I didn’t say it about him; they did! And they said it, when they thought nobody was listening. “Oh, we could just call Tucker! He’ll fix everything!” When in doubt; think propaganda.

The situation in the Situation Room. Top cabinet officials meeting in top-secret digs to discuss, you know who. The article said Vice-President J.D. Vance was near panicked by the Epstein Files. JD feared (correctly) that the Epstein files would hang like a black cloud over Trump’s final two years. JD was most worried about JD. How his 2028 election chances could be disrupted by the Epstein file revelations. Shut up Pam! This is all your fault. JD rightfully fears his admission to the Dan Quyale former Vice President’s club. The club that says, You had your one shot at the brass ring and now you’re one of us! Now, you’re a party elder. That’s someone everyone recognizes and no one in the party wants to be associated with. I remember him! Didn’t he used to be famous? Wasn’t he on “Matlock?”

It’s a serious situation in the situation room. Looking down the barrel of perpetual unemployment. It’s all going wrong. Whatever happened to Peckerhead Pete? The last time I saw Pete was in his 46 second YouTube workout video. You know when they have to edit together 46 seconds of a workout video. I suspect, It went really badly. But I guess Pete already knows that he has no future. The word on the screet is RFK Jr. is next to be booted from the Trump team. It seems RFK has been too busy fighting vaccines, doing Ecstasy and gargling with broken glass to notice the arrival of the “Screwworm.”  

In true Trump fashion. It wasn’t RFK’s fault. It was all Elon’s fault. The DOGE fired the people paid to watch out for screwworm and now Froggy gets the ax for it. But notice how someone is missing from the list of attendees? Older fella? Overweight, balding and sort of goofy? Wears makeup? The Pirates of Pennsylvania Avenue were holding a top-secret meeting in the situation room to secretly talk about their boss. What to do about Donald before he ruins everything! Top-secret! Loose lips sink careers. Their goal of secrecy was to avoid the secret meeting from reaching the ears of their boss, Donald Trump. Secret meeting agenda: “What are we going to do about Donald?”

Where is everybody?

They’re all gathered in the basement situation room, sir, talking about you, Sir!

 “Mischief, thou art afoot;
Take thou what course thou wilt.”  – William Shakespeare