This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” ― Mark Twain,

I’ve been enjoying the FIFA game videos while successfully avoiding watching any of the games themselves. People interest me; kicking a ball around for an hour doesn’t. It’s a great game, it’s just not for me. I watched a grown man eat a taco for the first time in his life. Now, that’s real fun! Europeans looking through Wally World and not knowing quite what to make of it all. A term I heard used several times was, “That would be illegal back home.” The first time I heard it, I didn’t give it any thought, but then I heard it again and again.

The shooting ranges are full as Europeans take this opportunity to shoot guns. Some of these Europeans grew up with guns while playing video games. Only, they’ve never seen a real M4 in person. And soon, they begin asking questions, like why not? Why can’t we have ranch dressing and free drink refills like the Americans? A drive-thru ATM? Brilliant! I jest, but it’s more serious than just that. I watched a European at a gas pump grousing, “Why do I pay seven dollars a gallon at home, while Americans complain about paying four? And it comes from the bloody North Sea!”

It’s the same reason the Communist bloc limited travel. People don’t realize how bad off they have it until they go somewhere better. As an American, I can’t say I fully understand it, but I was raised a churchgoer, it didn’t stick but I sort of do understand. I heard several Europeans comment on the American freedom to do whatever you like. The European social pressure to conform and not smoke in the chapel. But the message seems to be “stay on the straight and narrow path and take no risks.” Don’t quit your safe day job to open a computer company in your garage, Steve Jobs!

A Frenchman said he spoke to the authorities about opening a restaurant in town. He said he was shocked when no one asked him to fill out an armload of forms. Instead, they answered, “Go for it!” Purchase a business license, follow the health code, and you’re in business, son! We Americans tend to forget about the big dream. We’re raised with it! It’s always been a part of our nature. It’s in our nature to say, “Go for it!” Because we all have our own big dreams. (Wanna buy a copy of my novel?) And like the Godfather said, “Since your interests don’t conflict with mine. I wish you the best of luck on your new venture.”

Is it real? Or is it just imagined? I can do this in Texas, but not in Brighton? Is it just the American John Wayne enthusiasm? “Listen up, partner, and listen up good! Cause, I’m not gonna repeat myself!” Or is it just the idea of American freedom planted into their European heads? Ideas are more dangerous than bullets, you know. These visitors are going home soon with a suitcase filled with new ideas and complaints! “In America, they do it this way!”

Do you have your TV license? It’s required in the UK. And if you tell them you don’t have a TV, they don’t care and they don’t believe you. At first, I thought it was all a joke and a petty annoyance. Then, when I saw the video of a government man attempting to explain that by law, he could climb through an open bedroom window to look for a TV in your house. We have no such law in the states, due to the Second Amendment.

Threatening letters from the government, warning of thousands of pounds in fines and court costs for watching TV. Or better still, for not watching TV. Britons tour Walmart and ask themselves, “Why are American TVs so cheap? Soon rephrased as why are UK TVs so expensive? Why am I paying more for less? Why can I buy a palace in Texas for the same price as a two-bedroom apartment in the UK? I see the trouble brewing. Why can’t we have the Waffle House and a big Ram truck?

Marco Polo first brought pasta to Italy, because the Italians had never tried Chinese food before.  “It’s good all right, Mark, but it needs more tomato sauce and meatballs!” And if you think what Italians did to Chinese food was bad, I’m not even going to mention what Chicago did to pizza.

We Americans take it all for granted, being American. Because we don’t know how to be anything else. When we see something new, we immediately say ourselves. “I’ll bet, you could build that bigger or smaller. I think it needs another stick of butter. You know, someone is going to get rich off an idea like that!

“Rocky” was the all-American movie. A sort of dumb, hardworking guy chasing a longshot, impossible dream in Philadelphia. Why Philadelphia? Accident or luck of the draw location? Rocky was from the city of American freedom. Why did Rocky run up those steps? Rocky was overcoming all of his obstacles until he finally reached the top and success. They starved at Valley Forge, and they fought to the last man at the Alamo. That’s what they teach Americans. That’s the American way. Starve if you have to, and fight to the last man.

Sure, it sounds crazy and nobodies has ever done it before, but it just might work. And there is only one way to find out for sure, Orville.

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” ― Mark Twain