This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

What is going on? Those crazy Iranians attacked three ships in the Strait of Hormuz. What’s wrong with those people? Are they crazy? Are they insane? Why would they do such crazy, crazy things? Don’t they want peace and good fellowship? Don’t they want to keep their winnings after fleecing President Doofus? Why, oh why, would those crazy Iranians ever do such a thing?

This is the way the American media report the story. For some unknown, fucking reason known only to God, the Iranians suddenly opened fire on three innocent ships peacefully making passage through the Gulf.

Under the terms of the memo ran dumb of disintermediation CONTROL of the Gulf is SOLELY in Iranian hands. The king auto penned it himself, and then pretended to sign a copy while in Europe. Iran is in control of the Strait of Hormuz by order of Donald J. Trump. The Iranians have a particular route they wish the ships to take when exiting. Remember now, that’s entirely up to Iran. They make the rules here, per DJT! But there is another way out, a sort of back way out near Oman. A way to potentially beat the toll. Huh? Huh? But wait! The Iranians are in control here and they specifically said not to go that way. Oh, beans to the Iranians! The Americans said we should try it!

There is no peace treaty in place here. This is still an active war zone. Not following the instructions of the combatants in charge is a risky way to live your life and captain your ship. You really have to question the captain’s motivation. You can sail this way like they told you, and everybody smiles and waves. Or you can sail the way you were specifically told not to go and maybe get killed or arrested. Show of hands! Who feels lucky? Who votes we go for it?

It doesn’t make any sense. One of Iran’s goals after bending Trump over is a toll booth on the strait. Oh, the irony, the tariff king meets the toll booth mullahs. Mr. Trump wishes to put a monetary toll gate on American products, but objects to the Iranians doing likewise.

This is the second time the US has broken the ceasefire. They object to following the rules they agreed to follow. You all saw it! Donald John Trump signed it right there on the tablecloth between the water glasses. Just like all great treaties are signed. One man, all by himself, signs a piece of paper, and then it disappears forever. No brightly colored ribbons or wax seals or nothing! This was a calculated move. A planned provocation trying to start a new war and hence, a new peace negotiation. Did he really sign that? Oh, shit!

The United States is refusing to follow the agreement it signed because they don’t like the terms. They refuse to cede control of the Gulf to Iran despite agreeing to do so. So much for the word of the United States. Treaty schmeedy Huh! We’re in charge here! You can’t shoot at ships just for going the way you specifically told them not to go! Who do you think you are? Huh? The cops or something?

Every time Iran attempts to police or take action in the gulf the US contests it. The paper says Iran is in charge the actual fact says it’s not so. The war goes on in slow motion. The US has made it clear: this war isn’t over and won’t be over. Trump lost the last war. Can you imagine how that sits on the brow of a malignant narcissistic king? It burns and sears his soulless body. The Iranians had really put one over on him. Curses! I’ll get you next time! Just you wait! Mom! He’s touching me! Mom he’s almost touching me! Trump is not going to stop.

My advice to the Iranians is to create a big trophy or some kind of award. The first annual Iranian Big Boy Peace Prize is presented to…? Let’s see, who looks deserving?

And then overnight, the reflecting pool scandal is all gone. And Donald Trump’s disastrous State Fair is all over and forgotten too. Wasn’t it great? Sure, shit was falling from the rafters and a man jerked off on the midway.  But you’ve  gotta expect that sort of thing when a crowd of a hundred or more people show up. The law of gravity is constant! Shit’s going to fall, stop blaming it all on Donald Trump!

They don’t want to tell you that Donald Trump surrendered to Iran to reopen the strait of Hormuz. Trump felt pressured by rising fuel costs and fearing he’d be labeled as the most failed president ever. Then he did what? Class? That’s right, class. He tacoed! He signed before oil prices destroyed the world economy, sending us spinning into a world-wide depression forever labelled as “The Trump Depression.”

Once the deal was done, however, and the tankers began sailing again and oil prices began to moderate. A sense of buyer’s remorse began taking over. The terms they had agreed to now soured in their mouths. Chances are if the ceasefire isn’t dead yet, it soon will be. The administration gave away the store and now they need to try and get it back by contesting the terms they had agreed to. Or by not letting on to the American people that they are doing it.

They have to restart the war now that the oil has shipped, and the crisis has eased. But they have to make it look like Iran is the aggressor. Iran fires three missiles and Trump strikes eighty targets. And still, Iran controls the strait of Hormuz. It will be harder to stop the next war because the Trump administration’s word won’t be worth a tinker’s damn.

I guess you could call it the slow learners class. Trump half emptied out the arms warehouse dumping billions of dollars in hi-tech weaponry on Iran and still Iran controls the Strait of Hormuz. Now, after Iran strikes three vessels Donald Trump will try it one more time.

Question: Is Marco Rubio a real flesh and blood person or is he a hologram? He’s like a projection or something they just sort of turn him on occasionally when they need him. I keep expecting to see someone’s arm pass right through him.  

“In treading upon the ashes of dead men in Italy, Egypt – on the banks of the Bosporus, one almost despairs to think how idle are the dreams and toils of this life, and were it not for the intellectual pleasure of knowing and learning, one would almost be damaged by travel in these historic lands.”
― William T. Sherman