This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Before we go too far and get too serious here, this morsel was just too delicious to pass up. This kind of ignorance can’t be bottled or canned and must be served up fresh. Eric Trump, the lowly third spawn of Don old Trump says Darlene Graham, the sister of the late Lindsey Graham is “An unqualified idiot, who only got the job through nepotism.” Well, I guess it takes one to know one, doesn’t it?  It’s a clear case of the pot calling the kettle a dumb ass. A man who works for his daddy and has never worked anywhere else even a single day in his life. A grown man, who lives in daddies apartment building rent-free wants to tell us all about nepotism. But I will accept Eric’s definition of an “unqualified idiot” based on his personal family experience alone.

Don old Trump is at war with Iran. Don old Trump started a war with Venezuela. Don old Trump is in a trade war with Canada. Don old Trump is in a war of words with Greenland. Don old Trump threatens Colombia, Panama and Mexico. Don old Trump threatens to leave NATO. Don old Trump threatens Spain. Don old threatens China. Don old Trump was at war with the chairman of the Federal Reserve. Don old Trump is suing the BBC. Don old Trump fired the editor of Stars and Stripes for telling the truth. I think I see a pattern forming here! God help Domino’s if his pizza is late.

The other day the media reported Don old was importing metric tons of Argentine ground beef to lower prices in the grocery store. You’d have to be as stupid as Eric Trump and Darlene Graham all rolled into one to believe that cockamamie story. But the media is too terrified of Don old to tell the truth about him. Don old through his pinhead proxy sweet Scotty Bessent, engaged in a 2.5 billion dollar currency swap to bolster the failing Argentine peso back in October. In order to salvage any small amount of that money now, it is vital to keep the Argentine peso afloat. On August 16^th the peso collapsed again. And within a week, Don old announces metric tons of Argentine beef imports, all tariff-free. Sure, sure, everyone knows how much Don old cares about the consumer.

But as expected, the farmers and ranchers from all parts of the red-state reactionary rodeo began quietly murmuring their discontent. On local network TV affiliates (because the national news are chicken shit cowards.) Cattlemen’s Association presidents began hitting the airwaves in the land of falling IQ scores. It is easy, given what we know, that if the cattlemen ’are expressing their displeasure politely on the TV, they are also lighting up the congressional phone lines with less than polite commentary. They are hopping mad! “Houston, we have finally reached find out!” That’s one small step for Trump and one giant leap towards bankruptcy.

The reddest of the red. Goons and good old boys, the very blood and marrow of Maga support, suddenly stunned, asking, “How could Don old do this to us! We’re special! How dare Don old treat us like this!” Far too monosyllabic to understand that it has nothing to do with them. Don old’s deal went bad. If the deal had been with Japan, we’d be swimming in tariff-free Toyotas and cheap big-screen TVs right now. If it had been Brazil, it would have been Brazil nuts. Don old does what suits Don old best. Nothing personal, sorry about ruining your business, but…get stuffed! One of us is getting fucked here, guess who?

Many of us are already aware of Don old’s bad temper. He doesn’t take public criticism well or lightly, even if he did ruin their businesses. Do you know what Don old did in response to the cattleman’s laments? He reopened the importation of cattle from Mexico. “Do you boys want to go on TV and run your mouth some more? Do you want to complain some more?” In answer to the cattlemen’s complaints, Don old doubles down on beef importation. Because? Don old just loves the consumer.

But this is something new. The Rubicon has just been crossed. Suddenly, Don old is attacking and punishing the Maga multitude for the sin of complaining. It’s a sign of late-stage authoritarianism. They always eat their young… eventually. Donner; party of one? We saw just a hint of that already. Pam Blondie blamed Krash Patel for the Epstein debacle. Gin-nine Pirro blamed Duh Doug Burnham for the deflecting pool mess. It’s always somebody else’s fault, isn’t it? Damn you, Joe Biden!

History tells us that whenever authoritarian leadership is questioned, the knives come out. Whenever the authoritarian leader is overwhelmed, they tend to shut down. Making petty proclamations and symbolic gestures. Big Brother is going to increase the chocolate ration, you know, because he really loves consumers. We’re not at war with Eurasia! We’ve never been at war with Eurasia! Fake News Winston! Down the memory hole. The captain of the USS Abraham Lincoln will be terminated as soon as they tie off to the pier in San Diego. He let the crew complain about the poor conditions. The unpardonable sin. Never mind the horrible conditions! Shut those people up!

But in the cat’s cradle, it is becoming apparent that the Trump regime is beginning to crack under the strain. Sometimes, the authoritarian leader is unable to handle or control the affairs of state and will fixate on minor details. Never mind the war in Iran. Never mind the trade war with Canada. “We’re going to fixate on beef prices! And anyone who complains… is going to get it, right between the eyes!

This also goes hand in hand with Don old’s new girlfriend Eva, I mean Natalie. Swamped and overwhelmed, the leader grasps for a mother figure to hear his private confessions and his laments. Someone to rub his back and say they understand. Someone who won’t argue with him like a wife might. Someone who will wipe his furrowed brow and tell him he’s always right. She understands him. Mommy loves you, Don old. Mommy is here for you, Don old. Mommy will never complain.

“At headquarters, where everyone lived under the tremendous pressure of responsibility, probably nothing was more welcome than a dictate from above. That meant being freed of a decision and simultaneously being provided with an excuse for failure.” ― Albert Speer,