This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Donald Trump’s Energy Secretary went on See BS television yesterday. Why? Because he was the cabinet secretary on call, I guess. He explained that the Strait of Hormuz was “open” and safe for navigation. Less than forty-eight hours after nine ships were struck by missiles. “Sure, it’s safe! Come on!” But more importantly, who was he talking to? Are there any tanker captains in the strait watching See BS? Doubtful, this propaganda was made just for you! The American viewer.

I don’t have any proof, but I suspect the timing of the US strikes on three Iranian oil tankers was set to coincide with the Labor Day weekend. Hit the tankers on Friday, and the markets would be calm again by Tuesday. Iran ruined that plan by striking back at six US ships. The Strait of Hormuz is in flames. “Sure, sure, she’s plenty safe!” We hit three ships and then Iran hit six. And supposing we hit six ships and Iran would hit twelve ships! Tit for tat, making a point to the Trump administration, that whatever you do, we will respond back with double.

Mr. Trump now calls the war with Iran “small potatoes” all in an effort to discount it. “Oh, that! Sure, I guess that’s still going on.” For six months, Mr. Trump has insisted almost daily Iran was willing to surrender any minute now. Pete Hegseth has dropped out of sight. Which is Trump speak for displeasure. Say something or do something stupid, and you go into the time-out box. Chris Wright, Energy Secretary de jure, was asked about an Iranian nuclear deal. We don’t need one! As long as we degrade their nuclear capabilities, that’s good enough! NEWS FLASH! The stated reason we went to war with Iran is no longer of any importance.

That message wasn’t for you; it was for the Iranians. “We’re ready to concede that point! But just stop shooting!” To say their plan backfired spectacularly is an understatement. The idea was to show the Iranians that we aren’t afraid of committing piracy or war crimes. The result was the Strait of Hormuz in flames. And the US Energy Secretary appearing on apologist TV pleading for calm. Do you think the administration will hit any more Iranian oil tankers? Doubtful, extremely doubtful. The administration only knows force, and when force fails, they’re lost.

Mr. Trump said he would spend ten million dollars supporting career criminal Ken Paxton’s Senate race in Texas. If only Mr. Trump had endorsed incumbent John Cornyn, he probably could have kept that money in his pocket. But you know how it goes, “Vengeance is mine sayeth the Trump!” Paxton has made a point in this campaign of staying away from Texas-based reporters who know him too well, and know his record even better.

So, we all know Donald Trump well enough at this point. If he says that he’s going to spend ten million dollars on the Senate race, it means he’s going to spend eight million dollars on himself, and two million dollars on the campaign. Enter the dumpster dive in Dallas! A mini-convention designed to gin up the faithful in formally blood-red Texas. There is your ten million dollars at work. A grand stage, the last hoorah for the old duffer. Mr. Trump will make a speech after his grand entrance and gold-plated procession. If Paxton is lucky, he might get a mention. Pure Trump, “Me! Me! Me! Me! Ken, what’s his name?

The worst lady, Malaria Trump, will NOT be making an appearance at this year’s loserpalooza. AND YOU ALREADY KNOW WHY! Mrs. Trump earns double appearance money for these special events. (Three-hour minimum) I remember her last convention appearance. Malaria stepped out of the limo, walked backstage then entered the platform, waved to the crowd without ever slowing down, and then walked back out to the limousine and disappeared into the darkness. She was there for four minutes, tops! She also won’t be accompanying Mr. Trump on his trip to Ireland next week. They’ve split up and are no longer a couple. With age comes wisdom, so Mr. Trump must always look for someone younger and dumber.

A funny thing happened on the way to the Kroger store. Americans are worried about the safety and quality of Argentine and Mexican beef. They don’t give a fuck about the price, they just don’t want to eat nuts, butts, hooves and screw worms. Grocers are fearful of a decline in overall beef sales. The double whammy that hurts both domestic producers and grocery stores. It’s beef at a good price and potentially beef that no one wants.

I’m anxious to see this Dallas dumpster dive. To see who, if anyone actually shows up. It is a convention without a purpose. There are no delegates choosing candidates or settling platforms. It’s a pep rally! A car show with only one car. The Trump mobile! Just imagine, if no one shows up or if the room is half-empty. Watch closely! If all the camera shots are all close-ups, the crowd is small. If the room is full, they can use long camera shots. (Propaganda 101) But the Dallas dumpster dive would be much more useful if only it had a purpose. The Republicans now have to spend millions of dollars holding on to Texas. The house band will be playing “Nearer My God to Thee” on the quarterdeck.

The polling shows only 14% of Americans support Mr. Trump’s imported beef brew, haha. If you ask ten people at random, fewer than one and a half approve. Oh, boy! This convention is going to be fun! What do you suppose they will talk about? The war, energy prices, inflation, Epstein, or Joe Biden? It is going to be “show and tell” without anything to show and not much they want to tell about.

Mr. Trump now vehemently denies wearing a wig…anymore. Come on, you know how it is! A guy gets a new girlfriend and wants to show off. He wants to look young and virile. So he tried the wig, and it didn’t work; everyone made fun of him (including me) and he threw the hairpiece away. Now he denies ever owning one and uses a photo from two years ago to make his point. Methinks he doth protest too much!

“Our next speaker is the man who shuts down the House of Representatives every time  Jeffrey Epstein’s name is ever mentioned, Mike Johnson.” BOOO! Our next speaker will be Elon Musk.” BOOO! Followed by America’s favorite junkie, Bobby the boob. “BOOO! And then Ken Paxton will speak.” BOOO! “And then, capping our evening off, will be Donald Trump.” BOOO!

“ Plenty is at our doorstep, but a generous use of it languishes in the very sight of the supply. Primarily this is because the rulers of the exchange of mankind’s goods have failed, through their own stubbornness and their own incompetence, have admitted their failure, and abdicated. Practices of the unscrupulous money changers stand indicted in the court of public opinion, rejected by the hearts and minds of men.

True they have tried, but their efforts have been cast in the pattern of an outworn tradition. Faced by failure of credit they have proposed only the lending of more money. Stripped of the lure of profit by which to induce our people to follow their false leadership, they have resorted to exhortations, pleading tearfully for restored confidence. They know only the rules of a generation of self-seekers. They have no vision, and when there is no vision the people perish.”  – Franklin Delano Roosevelt