By David Glenn Cox
A plucky little local Iowa TV affiliate did some investigative research. Re what? What’s that? After hearing Mr. Trump say that the big, giant, fifteen billion dollar steel mill was already under construction. Armed with journalism certain to place them on a government watch list or lose their FCC license, they’ve made some shocking discoveries. Sensitive readers should proceed with extreme caution.
There is no construction underway. There have been no building permits issued. There have been no large land purchases made. The financing hasn’t been put in place. Careful now, this might shock you. There is only a memorandum of understanding. A promise on a non-binding piece of paper and a hope that someday, Iowa will become the number two producer of steel in the United States or that pigs might all enter the aviation field. I know! It is shocking, isn’t it?
Mr. Trump told a near-lie. There is something on paper, but nothing more. The Alaska LNG plant? More of the same. “I’m gonna send everybody $5,000 checks!” A desperate man clutching at desperate straws. The RNC PAC has cut off funds in the North Carolina Senate race. Because why? They feel it is a lost cause. No point in throwing good money after bad. Speaking of lost causes, remember when Maria Bartiromo got fired from Ox News? And her lawyer came out the next day and said that she wasn’t fired? He was wrong.
Donald Trump visited Mobile, Alabama, yesterday. When a Republican Resident needs to rally the troops in Alabama thirty days before an election? Oh, mama, is there ever trouble. There are just fewer and fewer safe spaces where the Resident can safely draw a crowd. Apparently, he won’t be going to North Carolina any time soon. The turd Reich is collapsing in on itself like a dwarf star. The Resident must only campaign where there aren’t any protestors or naysayers. He must preserve the illusion that he is still the Donald Trump of old, rather than the same old Donald Trump.
Maybe you’ve heard about the terrible Bureau of Labor Statistics monthly jobs report. I won’t browbeat you with the ugly numbers. It only confirms what most of us already know. If you are in business or work in business. Customers with no money buy less than customers who do. But more to the point about the BLS. This is Donald Trump’s BLS; he fired the last person trying to tell the truth. So now they only shade the truth. They reported 29,000 new jobs last month, when they were expecting 89,000 new jobs. That’s less than half. That’s less than a third of the number predicted. That’s missing the dartboard entirely and hitting the parakeet across the room in its cage.
Donald Trump’s BLS has a nasty habit of revising job numbers after the spotlight has moved on. Eight of the last twenty-four months have been revised downward. Never upwards, always downwards. So what does this mean for our 29,000 new jobs? It means they are as real as a steel mill in Iowa. Job growth under Donald Trump has been, I don’t want to get too technical here. Fucking awful, extremely terrible! Unprecedentedly bad. But on the doomed ship of fools, the SS Wall Street, bad numbers are good news! Because it means the Federal Reserve probably won’t hike interest rates and your high-interest credit cards will be spared from a hit!
The honest chances are that there were ZERO or less than zero new jobs created, and the forecast is for still worse. But Donald goes to Texas and Oklahoma, and Alabama, where it is still safe. Where the cult is still strong enough and he can still lie and brag with impunity. A former Republican Floriduh congressman with ties to Marco Rubio was sentenced yesterday to ten years in federal prison for working as an agent of Venezuela. Money is money, right? You have to be the President to get away with crimes like that.
The old orange blowhard is promising to send out more checks. This time, to seniors to offset their Medicare Part B payments. How desperate must he be? Five thousand dollars for everybody, five hundred dollars to offset healthcare costs, and now ninety dollars to offset Medicare. Maybe babies and infants will get a hundred dollars to offset the high cost of diapers?
Try not to laugh. Try. But Donald Trump has touted a G7 plan to release 100 million barrels of diesel fuel. Yeah! We’re saved! Only that 100 million barrels must be divided among Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, the UK, and the United States! And since that diesel fuel currently resides in Europe. American truckers will be lucky to get a discount on a single fill-up. And the fuel won’t arrive until after the harvest and after the election. But it sure makes for good headlines! Doesn’t it?Donald Trump pisses in fuel tanks to extend the range.
With this election cycle being so close, and the economic news being so troubling. It’s more important than ever for the administration to stay focused on the important issues of the day. The Justice Department has argued that Donald Trump should be allowed to reinstate his media ban against CNN, MS Now and Politico! Always keep your eye on the ball. That’s my motto! This is transformative information. Even with collapsing poll numbers and shrinking safe spaces, the message is still solely focused on protecting Donald Trump. Let North Carolina go to the devil. Screw Ohio and Indiana. To hell with Wisconsin and Arizona, he’s going to Alabama!
Some news outlets have said dangerously and carelessly, and recklessly reported that there were some empty seats to be had in Mobile. A defect in the Death Star, perhaps.
What is the true purpose of the recent Trump campaign tour? Is he actually campaigning for Republicans in safe spaces? Or are there any safe spaces left? Is Mr. Trump really campaigning for anyone, or just having masturbatory flashbacks? Taking the old duffer out and parading him around to pretend it’s like the good old days! Living inside of a fantasy. Or could the opposite be true, and he is unwanted in all but the safe spaces? Do you want Trump’s Republican money? Then you have to take Trump!
It is like the allegory of the cave. Mr. Trump only chooses to campaign where they still only see his image projected onto the cave wall in shadow. Where his money is more welcome than he is. Where the bright lights and vivid colors don’t hurt their eyes so much. Where the dreams are still real and the visions are still solid. Where they haven’t taken down the scenery yet to expose the brick wall at the back of the theater.
“….Here beneath this oak; Evangeline waited for her lover, who never came. It is a spot made immortal by Longfellow ‘s poem, but Evangeline is not the only one who has waited here in disappointment. Where are the schools you have waited for your children to have, which have never come? Where are the roads and highways that you send your money to build, which are now no nearer than before? Where are the institutions to care for the sick and the disabled? Evangeline wept bitter tears in her disappointment, but they lasted only through a single lifetime. Your tears in this country, around this oak; have lasted for generations. Give me the chance at last to dry the tears of those who still weep here…” – Huey Long
“To be stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis blues again,” – Bob Dylan
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