By David Glenn Cox
Local polling from Harris, County Texas (Houston) James Talarico 58% and Ken Paxton 36%. Houston is the largest city in Texas by over a million people. If these numbers are accurate, Ken Paxton and the Republicans are in big, big trouble. These numbers were from before the Wall Street Urinal’s story about Ken Paxton partying the night away with fugitive embezzlers in Dubai. The very same fugitive embezzlers who donated 200 thousand dollars to Paxton’s campaign for Texas Attorney General.
This is the second time Rupert Murdoch’s publication has pulled the rug out from under the Republicans. It was the Urinal who spilled the beans on the Botox bimbo, Kimberly Guilfoyle. What’s going on here? Why is Murdoch killing off the franchise? It’s like a horror film, “The call is coming from inside the house!” A See BS affiliate identified Guilfoyle as Gavin Newsom’s ex-wife of twenty years ago, rather than Donald Trump Junior’s fiancée of two years ago. (Fair and balanced)
The Republican Liars Association has been busy fabricating rumors about Talarico’s recent absence from the campaign. Claiming he was in a mental institution in Ohio. But watch this! The TV outlets have been busy denying those rumors while at the same time spreading them. “Reports that Talarico is out of his mind, fucking crazy, mad, insane are suspected of being false.” It’s Texas! Why would an insane person need to go all the way to Ohio? When out of his mind, fucking crazy is nearly the Texas state motto. The state that gave us the George Bushes, Dick Cheney, and Ken Paxton have the nerve to call other people crazy! People who live in glass White Houses shouldn’t throw stones or mention building giant ballrooms anymore…what giant ballroom?
The Department of Injustice raided Congresswoman Illain Omar’s house because Donald Trump wanted them to, hoping they might find something to fabricate on or, at the very least generate some negative headlines. The dog is doing tricks hoping its owner will throw them a bone. Interestingly, Ken Paxton had been under investigation by the Biden Justice department but that investigation suddenly disappeared with the arrival of the Trump regime. It disappeared the same way the investigation into Jeffrey Epstein disappeared. (Fair and balanced)
But it seems that these days Donald Trump can’t do anything right. His diesel from the devil program is meeting almost more pushback from Republicans than from Democrats. Largely because Democrats get so little TV airtime. Some Republicans question turning our backs on our allies of eighty years and ignoring eighty years of US foreign policy. Donald Trump deflects their criticism and the media assists him. The big orange ape says we’re still providing intelligence to Ukraine despite it being in such short supply in Washington. Ignoring the contrast of supplying succor to both sides of a war. No contradictions or news stories here, fellas! Why didn’t Trump win that Nobel Peace Prize again?
They’re banning horse and carriage rides from Manhattan. There’s your big news story, boys! Look at what the socialist mayor did! And so it begins; today it’s pony rides and tomorrow, it’s democracy itself! Don’t let the communists take over. Have you noticed how the blanket of political silence has fallen over the Iran War? No, no, no, verboten! You mustn’t remind Americans of what Donald Trump did. No more carriage rides in New York! Man finds cat alive in house wreckage! Apple announces a new overpriced doodad that does something or other irrelevant.
Elon Musk is spending big money trying to quiet a new documentary about himself. Titled “Musk,” it’s the largest campaign of its kind since William Randolph Hearst tried to strangle “Citizen Kane” in its crib. Hearst forbade Citizen Kane’s advertising in Hearst newspapers and blacklisted the film’s stars. Maybe Citizen Musk would have made a better title. Riddle me this, Batman, why would an electric car maker support a political party that did away with tax breaks for purchasing electric cars? Did you guess stock manipulation? Sure, of course you did.
You know SpaceX’s last mission was a raging success, despite exploding in the ocean. SpaceX’s missions are always a raging success, when covered by paid private media. But Elon is reportedly dumping 276 million dollars into helping Republican candidates in the midterms. Why? Is Elon just that patriotic or just that idiotic? What does Elon get? Oh, that’s right, government contracts! The ABC television network reportedly quashed a news story about Don Jr. and Eric the dim, enriching themselves whole hog at the public trough. (Fair and balanced)
The long-lost Gin-nine Pirro reappears in her role as lush and federal prosecutor on OX News, discussing the Illain Omar’s case. Pirro had been disappeared from public view ever since she prosecuted a former Olympic athlete for single-handedly destroying the deflecting pool. Why, that was reprehensible. Yes, but orders are orders. The Injustice Department raids Omar’s house, and within hours, a federal prosecutor is discussing the case on television. It reminds me of the time last week, when JD Vance said we don’t prosecute people based on media headlines. It reminds me of the time the Dallas police declared Lee Harvey Oswald as the man suspected of killing President Kennedy just hours after the event. (Fair and balanced) Investigation? We don’t need no stinking investigation!
“Dow Futures Rise Ahead of Inflation Data!” War? What war? High fuel prices? Who told you that? Trucking companies are filing for bankruptcy. Who told you that? Farmers and ranchers screaming bloody murder. (Farmers for Trump) Side note: The cheap beef is all gone. The benefits were effervescent, while the damage is long-term. Home foreclosures and short sales are approaching 2008 levels. Say what? Car repossessions reaching all-time highs. The Dickens you say! The Las Vegas Strip is as empty as the surrounding desert on a Friday night. Consumer debt is at an all-time high. The fast-food industry is nearing collapse…Gee, I wonder why?
Due to the tight election races, the following administration personnel will report immediately to the White House basement until further notice. Robert Kennedy Jr., Todd Blanche, Howard Lutnick, Snotty Scotty Bessent, Elon Musk and Momma Malaria Trump. Oh, wait, she lives in faraway New York. Stay out of sight anyway, babe! The unpopular crowd is being sequestered. Those whose names and faces evoke outrage and remembrance. Shhh! Quiet, everybody until after the elections.
According to our See BS projections; the race between the low-down, dirty, and insane scoundrel Democratic candidate James Talarico and the generally well-liked, handsome Republican Ken Paxton is too close to call.
“The whole purpose of Republican oratory these days seems to be to switch labels. The object is to persuade the American people that the Democratic Party was responsible for the 1929 crash and the depression, and that the Republican Party was responsible for all social progress under the New Deal.
Now, imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery—but I am afraid that in this case it is the most obvious common or garden variety of fraud.” – Franklin Delano Roosevelt
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