By David Glenn Cox
So the big dumb goof flew his ill-gotten gain over the White House with gold trim. Just to impress all the little kiddies invited to the White House with gold trims annual Halloween party. Is there going to be all the traditional Halloween decorations? Will there be candy and cider? Will there be bats and creepy skeletons and a presidential fly-over? It’s not really Halloween without the traditional presidential fly-over.
Who, I wonder, thought up that entertainment? It certainly wasn’t the air traffic controllers at Reagan National. “We’re sorry for the delay, folks. We will be leaving just as soon as the President is done screwing around.” A 747 fly over with fighter jets all to amuse the small children. (God bless America.) Even when dealing with adolescents, the message must remain focused on him, and exclusively on him alone. “Look up in the sky! It’s my cool airplane, kids! Ain’t it great! Watch this Kids! A $20,000 fly by and messing up the airline schedules for hours.”
Who’s impressed, children? A Halloween party? In the Trump administration? It is all too creepy for me! But someone out there isn’t taking their job seriously enough. They asked the big dumb ape about the virtues of daylight saving’s time. That’s just not taking your job seriously enough at all. Why not ask him about quantum physics or the meaning of life while you’re at it, why don’t you? If you could find one person who’s less in touch with what time it is, it’s Donald Trump.
I understand, this reporter was probably standing there on the tarmac all prepared ask some hard-hitting question about the rally in Kansas. But when his turn was called, he panicked and asked, “What do you think about daylight savings time? What’s your favorite color? What’s your favorite flower? You can’t get in any trouble that way? “Breaking News! A Fox News Update! “President Trump says gold is his favorite color. Details at eleven!”
One of the interesting things about the Senate race in Texas was the media’s obsession with how much money was being spent. “Almost half a billion dollars was spent on the race and most of it from out-of -state interests.” While neglecting to tell you which candidate the preponderance of the money was being spent on. One of the parties spent $400 million and it rhymes with Elon. Proud to tell you how much was spent, but bashful about telling you for whom it was spent on.
It’s going to be a rough night for the netiworks. “We have assembled a crack team of election analysts to explain away this clear mandate from the people. They are extremely well dressed, with professional hairstyling and laminated teeth. Now, if you’ll look over here to our electronic tote board. We have an animated little jerk-off jumping around like a five-year-old. Clapping his hands and pointing, while jumping up and down yelling in an animated voice. “Look, look, look at this! This number means the midterm election of 1842. No longer applies! We’re in new territory here! Our election polling found that Democrats with college degrees, once divorced with less than two kids, favor the Democratic candidate by more than two to one!”
A Fox News Breaking update! “A presidential fly-over is due here at the White House with gold trim any minute now.” To awe and amaze the small children playing on the lawn here for the annual Halloween party. While it’s not expected that President Trump is actually flying the plane himself, he could be. Please stand by for any further Fox News gushing updates.”
And Fox News ratings crashed as Mr. Trump’s ratings crashed. Too powerful of a sign to be a mere coincidence.
One more day and the White House with gold trim can unlock the basement, releasing all of the cabinet secretaries deemed too dangerous to leave out loose on the eve of the midterm elections. Pete, and Bobby the Boob, Howard Nutlick and snotty Scotty Bessent. If I say they economy is doing great! It’s doing great, because I say so! Don’t argue with me. I’m important. If I say it’s doing great, that’s what you should write down. What about the AI data center credit crunch? “We’re doing great!” What about the high cost of fuel and inflation? “We’re doing great!” What about the war in Iran? “Doing great! Couldn’t be better!”
How long can the denial of reality hold out? You see, data centers were going to be the next really big thing. Everybody is going to get rich. But data centers cost a lot of money to build, and it takes a long time. There is only small revenue coming in, in the meantime. But now, they have to borrow money to cover their losses. But that’s no problem for a big computer mega-corporation. But they’ve already borrowed billions of dollars, and now they need more. And like old Mother Hubbard when she got to the cupboard, the cupboard was bare. They can’t afford to continue and they can’t afford to stop.
Someone is going to get rich, and if we stop, it won’t be us. We’ll have this huge debt and only a half-finished data center to show for it? Do you know the market value of a half-finished data center is? It’s Nadda! Nothing, zip! Zero and zilch! But there’s just not enough money left! They’ve borrowed from everywhere- From hedge funds, banks, private credit and insurance companies. But is it safe? Of course it is, AI Data centers are going to be the next big thing! Bigger than Frisbee golf maybe.
Tesla, aka Idiot Elon, has announced a NEW Tesla Roadster and this one flies! Oh, gather round, children, and hear the sad tale of how the richest man in the world is blowing his fortune on stupid and asinine ideas. The new Tesla Roadster “A” is a normal electric vehicle starting at around $100,000 and it does zero to sixty miles an hour in a little over one second. In insurance circles, that’s known as crazy dangerous. Not a car to insure lightly.
But Elon’s megalomania knows no bounds. Tesla Roadster model “B” is the flying version, sort of. Starting at $250,000, the “flying” version is not legal to drive anywhere in the United States. It’s also not legal to fly per FAA regulations, due to control issues. Your chances of successfully driving a flying car are similar to your chances of flying an F-18 jet fighter plane. Your chances of obtaining car insurance are non-existent. You see, kids, entrepreneurs use their profits to develop new products. Like a flying car or a talking bathtubs or Ken Paxton. Like Ken, the flying Tesla is filled with a lot of high-pressure gas vessels and should one of them explode, you’re ham salad. Order today! Only $5,000 down and easy payments of $5,000 per month. Your chances of survival may vary. Offer not valid in Tennessee or Ohio.
“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.” ― Mark Twain
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