Exit Florida, Stage Right

By David Glenn Cox

Because he was running for President and straining with every muscle to make us all notice him. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis cut the state budget for stormwater, wastewater, and sewer projects by $205 million. Then the deluge hit. Along with the Governor’s other high-profile campaigns. Such as attacking the state’s largest employer and turning Florida education into the nation’s laughingstock. Book banning and outlawing no, no sex topics.

But it was not to be written in the stars. The best laid plans “Of Mice and Men” and all that. Then there was the disaster that was the Ron DeSantis campaign. The campaign’s first mistake was in believing that by their conservative acts alone, they could win adherents. Ronnie was a go-getter! An ambitious man on the make. Ronnie is serious and gets things done. No, he doesn’t have time to hear a funny story!

But Ronnie was running against a cult figure and good luck with that. “Ronnie’s not Jesus, but he’s still good!” Trump was playing cagey at the time and tight-lipped about his own plans. It helped to keep anyone serious from running, until it was too late to run. Governors and former governors, tech billionaires and day dreamers. Few were willing to make the huge investment even if it was largely other people’s money. No Republicans in their right mind were going to run against Trump.

Disasters are rarely a single cause event, but two or three little noticed details which don’t initially make themselves apparent, until it’s too late. The Surfside tower disaster made national headlines. A multi-story condominium building just collapsed in the middle of the night, all by itself. Ronnie was on the hot seat because of Florida’s famous loose regulation and inherent shoddy construction.

Amid the hundreds and hundreds of identical condo buildings, Ronnie had to do something. He was moving to Washington at the end of his term to become the President, so he had to make it something good. State mandated Inspections costing millions and millions of dollars. This is Florida, where the owners never planned for anything like this. Buildings just stand forever, don’t they? I mean, look at the pyramids! Sinking fund…what’s that? Assessments pushing a $100K per unit pushing the Florida Condo market under water.

Even if you can afford the assessment, you probably can’t afford the home owners insurance, if you can even get it. The property casualty market in Florida has always been a crap shoot. The Spanish sailors once consulted Astrologers to know when the storms were coming to Florida. Add in an aging infrastructure and a rising water table caused by global climate change and the truth which waits just beyond the horizon. A state insurance backstop fund is one good storm from finished.

There is a super storm out there just waiting. While there is still time to do something, the governor is running for President and it’s important, he display his frugalness with your tax dollars. He is trying to impress the other 49 states as Florida is already hooked and in the bag.

But the insurance companies also know that a super storm is out there, and it might not have a name yet, but it’s coming. The insurance companies want no part of it and so, if you insist on insuring your doomed property you will pay handsomely for the privilege. You will pay monthly, what the rest of the nation pays yearly.

Governor Ronnie says what every politician says after something they did blows up in their face. I had been for that before I was against it. I would have supported it, but I didn’t like the way they financed it. “What do we need with wastewater removal or storm sewers? Just stand on the table and count your money!”

Our negligence means Jobs for your community! But replacement costs are slowly bleeding the insurance companies dry. How many hardwood floors are the insurance companies going to replace in a ground floor condo before they say no more? It flooded before and it will flood again and again. Let’s cut the budget for wastewater and storm sewers! I’m running for President.

An inescapable trap stratifying the population. High insurance rates making homes unaffordable for the middle class and forcing the poor into lower and lower lodgings. Forcing the affluent to pay higher wages to subsidize the poor paying high rents to landlords who in turn must pay the insurance companies. If you had to guess, which way do you think this scenario will go in the future?

Governor Ronnie doesn’t believe in climate change. So why not cut $205 million dollars from the budget? If you don’t believe in it act like you mean it! By improved efficiencies we can do more for less! We’re conservative and don’t need to spend that $205 million! There is no climate change! And I’m running for President!

Yet now a storm system from the Caribbean is dropping record rainfalls on Florida causing major flooding of homes, airports and interstate highways. Breaking fifty-year-old records. Easily costing the state and municipalities and insurance companies well over 205 million dollars in property damage.

For Ron DeSantis to run for President it was necessary he run against the state of Florida. It was important he burnish his conservative credentials at their expense. That’s why Florida had more Covid-19 deaths AFTER a vaccine was created than before one was created. Shut down? Quarantine? Oh hell, no! Can’t you see I’m running for President!

It’s all in your mind! You aren’t really sick. Maybe it’s just a head cold.

“We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People … you can’t fix stupid!” ― Ron White