Tantrum Time in the Boom, Boom Room

By David Glenn Cox

Who is afraid of the big bad wolf? If you don’t give her what she wants. She’ll huff, and she will puff, and  BLOW the Republican house down! Or at the very least, gum up the works. This is Marge Traitor Greene  leading the “Look at Me” caucus! Marge is unhappy with Mike (penial euphemism) Johnson. Johnson’s sin was cooperating with Democrats to do the essential work of government. As Marge screams; “Off with his head!”

In the Greene stream, Republicans are supposed to lock their office doors and turn off their phones. Burn furniture in the fireplace for warmth and live on short rations for as long as is necessary. Anything but work together on any accommodation. Greene maintains Johnson claimed to be a Conservative, then snuck around and made deals with Democrats to move forward essential legislation in the national interest. (You Bastard!)

But if you go passing legislation, then Joe Biden might sign it! That’s a victory for Joe Biden, and we simply can’t allow that! In the Greene stream, the goal is to hold their breath kick their feet and throw a tantrum as the chaos party, for as long as possible. That is what Green equates to being “Conservative.” Still throwing a tantrum as we move forward into another election year. Still fighting the last war, still selling the same soap. Trump brand soap, the only soap which makes you dirtier every time you use it.

Now, in the short attention span theater, you just lop off their heads and pick someone else if they fail to please you right away. Sure, it’s just like a fry cook job at McDonalds. You just choose someone else to make the hamburgers…You’re Fired!

But a Republican House Speaker is supposed to manage the Republican legislative agenda and manage the resources of the Party into appropriate action. If you fire them on a whim, someone else must come in and put the pieces back together of someone else’s plans with superglue. If you fire the next guy, you might have difficulty filling the position in the future. Who wants a job which comes with its own lynch mob waiting outside your office door calling for your head on day two.

Yesterday, they welcomed the new speaker with cheers and approbations and today, “Off with his head!” So, it’s the bottom seventh inning and we’re way behind. Okay, you’re the new manager! Rearrange the team! Set us on a course for victory! Pick up the shattered pieces of a disastrous legislative session and mold it into a success. But remember, don’t you dare try and do anything.

The short attention span crowd has already forgotten the fiasco involved in picking Mike Johnson. There are two opposing Republican camps in the house. Those who will never be acceptable to the herd as the speaker under any circumstances. And those who wouldn’t take the job under any circumstances. Like a Priest and a boy scout troop leader. The only people who want the job are the people who shouldn’t be considered as chaperones for the overnight camping trip.

In the Greenenasium, the goal is to shut it all down. Let the sky fall! Let the angels weep and let hungry children shiver in the cold. Take that Joe Biden! If we can stymy the federal government, we can blame it on Joe Biden and have our media amplify the chaos. Thus, making the ground more fertile for Donald Trump’s triumphant return.

Reaching for the outer limits of insanity and a slow-motion January 6^th style insurrection. Greene Tweeted that earthquakes and eclipses were natural signs of God’s displeasure. When I say low IQ theater, Brother. I mean way, way low. Quick, throw a virgin in a volcano or something! Someone make God happy quick, before he kills us all! (Oh wait, that’s his plan!)

But Greene’s gripe is a speaker doing anything at all or cooperating with Democrats in any way. Don’t take the job if you have any intentions of doing it properly. Only take this job if you promise (on your honor) to do nothing. That’s a real Conservative! Tantrum time in the boom, boom room. And the petty squabbles only amplify the perception of the gang which cannot shoot straight.

Speaker number one, Kevin McCarthy said his undoing as speaker was because McCarthy as was his job. Began an ethics investigation after the news broke of Matt Gaetz sleeping with teenaged prostitutes. Gaetz took that hard and called for McCarthy’s dismissal. Speaker number two was a compromise candidate, after all the Republican nutballs had been discarded. He was the only one left standing in the corner. No one had ever heard of him, and he couldn’t even get into the Congressional dining room without showing his credentials.

Johnson first tried the Greene approach. He held up the aid package for Ukraine for months, likely killing hundreds, if not thousands of our allies. Making our allies around the globe (Sorry, flat earthers) wonder about America’s credibility and dependability. And can you believe it, that’s not good enough for Marge! The aid package passed the Senate 79 to 18. When was the last time you saw anything passed 79 to 18? This is the bill House Republicans held up. Just because it might make Joe Biden look good and if hundreds of innocent people died because of it? So what?

The pep squad for Donald Trump! And its head cheerleader Marge Traitor Greene, of the “Look at Me” caucus. A Republican circus lost its way and led by clowns whose goal is achieving nothing. Holding their breath and kicking their feet, until their districts finally turn Blue.

Marge in her infinite nitwittery says Democrats will have to explain to the electorate why they are defending a Republican Speaker. Hell, that’s simple Margie! Marge Traitor Greene said she was against him. So, I immediately became for him.

“We need men (and women) who can dream of things that never were.” ― John Fitzgerald Kennedy