But Ma!

By David Glenn Cox

But Ma! “I said No!” But Ma! I’m graduating from high school Ma! I want to go out Ma. I wanna meet some girls Ma! I wanna stay up past ten o’clock Ma! I’ve been locked away in a private school and now I’m eighteen and I want to live my life Ma. I want to bask in the glow of the Trump limelight, before it’s all gone.

As a former teenage boy, myself. I can truly relate to young Barron Trump’s disappointment. Oh, I bet it would have been fun, fun, fun. If you can’t find trouble in there, you aren’t really looking. But Mama bear has got her radar on to protect her little boy from the undesirable elements (All of them) inside the Republican Party. She has seen the resulting spawn from Donald Trump’s previous parenting ventures. Mama is trying to defy the theory of “Nature vs. Nurture.”

Just like Belle Whatley from “Gone with the Wind.” She only wants good things for her little boy. She doesn’t want him to turn out like her life had and feared the tyranny of genetics. The distant stare, the felonious intent, and a blank look in the eye. I thought it was odd that Daddy would offer such a sweet deal to his wife’s sheltered son.

Hey you, Barney, ah Brad, Barron. I got a job for you. I want you to be a Florida delegate for me at the convention. “Gee, daddy, me?” Sure thing, kid.

 No! You stay away from him, he’s mine! I don’t want my little boy exposed to the wrong class of people unsupervised! “What wrong class of people?” YOU! And your sons! Can you imagine? Eighteen, virginal and a Trump? On the loose at the Republican National Convention. Free food and drinks plus instant celebrity. Put it away son, your pin money is no good around here.

Daddy, that pretty lady just offered me a blow job. But I told her no because I already had a job working for my daddy!

What can a freshly minted high school graduate do for his daddy at a national convention? Maybe a future Attorney General or Supreme Court justice in a second Trump Administration. But Mama says “no!” and so no is the final answer. It tells us a lot about the state of Trump’s marriage. Good communication between the partners is always key.

 So young Barron is plucked from obscurity, without any influence from his daddy to represent his daddy at his daddy’s convention. “They’re going to pick you as a delegate Barney. Don’t tell your mother.”

  An eighteen-year-old Trump boy off the leash for the first time with visions of titties dancing in his head. The building excitement and anticipation and then his mommy said no. But Ma! Why do you have to always spoil it for me? Daddy spoke to me twice this week and now you’re going to ruin it for me.

Oh, I can see the couple is getting along nicely, I can tell! Mama announces her little baby isn’t going to be exposed to that nest of vipers. As she publicly declines the invitation for her little boy. Daddy offers the job as a forgone conclusion, but Mama says, “no!”

  Please mommy and daddy! I hate it when you fight! I just want to grow up. Take off my doctor Denton’s and fly. Show the world or at least a couple of hookers what I’m made of! Free hooker’s mama! Free! You have no idea what that is like, oh wait, you probably do.

 Riddle me this…why? Why is mama bear so determined to keep her child out of the Republican National Convention? What’s the harm? It’s an honorary position which will look good on the kid’s resume’ someday, when he applies for barber college. What harm could be done to the boy? What I did on my summer vacation.

It is considered an honor to be selected as a delegate. But somehow, Mama Trump doesn’t seem to think so. “Luke, I’m your father!” My name’s not Luke! It’s Brad, I mean Barron. No, no, I won’t go over to the dark side! Mama help!

 Brad, I mean Barron is eighteen and is of legal age. He can wear dresses or vote for Democrats if he likes. But his mother said no. So, it’s back to his taxidermy and his stamp collection. It is a good thing he’s graduated from High School, because the guys in his gym class would never let him live it down such a missed opportunity.

For a teenage boy it is an absolute wet dream dashed. But Ma! Aw, come on Ma! Please Ma! All the other kids are going Ma!

“Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will…”  ― George Lucas