I Ain’t a Gonna Shoot Old Yeller!

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Thousands of volumes have been given over trying to explain how the German people could hand themselves over to Nazi tyranny. Germany had lost World War One and suffered through the Great Depression while already in a Great Depression. The Nazis promised the German public they would kiss all their boo boo’s and make it all better. They would right the wrongs and seek vengeance against the traitors to Germany. You’ve must have enemies to blame, otherwise it might be your fault. Hitler was a skilled orator whose love of opera taught him about dynamic emotional release. “You mean, you want me to shoot Old Yeller?” The Hitler moustache was the only moustache you could wear with a gas mask on. It was a symbol to the German people it said, “I’m a veteran, I’m a victim of this filthy war and now I’m going to make it right.”

The United States hasn’t lost any wars recently. We aren’t under any odious treaty arrangements and have lost no territories, so where does all the anger come from? The gun toting tobacco juice spitting camo wearing Billy Bob in his 60K Silverado enraged about the unfairness of his middle-class world. “God Damned Michigan hasn’t beaten Ohio State in ten years! I’m ready for war!” There is a nebulous detachment of fantasy and frustration. Donald Trumpy is certainly no skilled orator and other than his expensive orange face paint wears no indication of service. “You’re being oppressed by income inequality what do you suppose we ought to do about it?” Let’s elect a Billionaire!

I heard a group of Trumpet’s explain that Donald Trump was “fighting for them” and “draining the swamp.” My mind flashed back on the campaign videos, Donald Trump beating up illegal immigrants and Donald Trump punching out CNN. Images of Trumpozoid’s head on a body builders’ chassis. How exactly is Trumpozoid fighting for you? “He’s draining the swamp man!” How exactly is he doing that? How many have been charged so far for the crime of swamping? The level of attachment is astounding. Trump could shoot someone on Fifth Ave and the Trumpet’s would declare it an accident and the media just trying to make Trump look bad.

“See, the Russia investigation wasn’t about the 112 confirmed contacts with Russians. It was just a plot to get Trump. Trump’s impeachment wasn’t about Trump trying to monetize his office it was a plot by Lex Luther to get Trump.”

They don’t love Trump they love fantasy Trump. Sixteen pages of color comic book adventure character with puzzles and games in the back! In this episode: “We’re coming to get you!” POW! Take that Nancy Pelosi! ZOWIE! Take that AOC! Up Yours Chuck Schumer!” And the official Faux News scoreboard says, Donald Trump 973 and Democrats nothing! The Japanese government failed to tell the public about losing four aircraft carriers at the battle of Midway. Fantasy and reality parted ways; it is patriotic to believe and unpatriotic to question. If you question Santa Claus, he might not come.

Despite the Russia investigation and impeachment. Despite a non-stop procession of graft and scandal. The Trumpet’s see their champion as the orange John Wayne fighting to save the Alamo on the Sands of Iwo Jima. Al Capone is sitting right in front of them and they see Captain America. They don’t see the three-hundred-pound bumbler fast with accusations and quicker with excuses. The biggest god damned liar ever to come down the pike! They see Superman standing with the American flag waving in the breeze. A generation raised on “Rambo” and “Apocalypse Now “with a chip on their shoulder. “Are you going to let us win this time!” Do these fatigues come in a 48 waist? Where can I get a flak jacket in triple X?

The myth of the lone freedom fighter taking to the hills fighting the tyranny of the mask against all odds. “Use the force Luke!” Gilligan’s Raiders accused of plotting to kidnap Michigan Governor, Gretchen Whitmer fantasized of public executions on TV. It would be hard to find a psychologist who had not heard that one before! (Hint: has to do with mommy and daddy.) Dropouts without a school to shoot up, like Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver, Travis Bickle is going to save the world by shooting it.

General Treason, Donald Trump declared Joe Biden to be the worst Presidential Candidate ever! Then proceeded to lose the election to him by over six million votes. Do you see the emotional conflict here? That’s impossible, he couldn’t have lost! How could Superman get his ass kicked? Unless there was Kryptonite in Georgia. That’s it! Somebody cheated! “Your honor while it is true, we never complained about the election process before. Now that the votes are all counted, and it appears we lost. We would like to bring the unfairness of the situation to light. But only in the counties we lost. “

While most of us saw Brother’s Rudy’s Traveling Salvation Medicine Show. The Trumpet’s saw Jimmy Stewart in Mister Smith Goes to Washington. “Stand back or I’ll drip Grecian Formula Jim Beam sweat all over you. We wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for George Soros and that pizza parlor. You know Arizona is not far from Area 51 and we all know what goes on there! Aliens probing people. Your honor we demand a recount because Arizona is close to Area 51. Illegally probed voters are casting ballots in Arizona’s election. The skies the limit, the wilder the better. Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly there’s a land that I dreamed of once in a lullaby.

While it is statistically true that Joe Biden won the Presidential election here in reality land. There is no proof in Trump land. “I ain’t gonna do it Maw, I ain’t a gonna shoot Old Yeller! You git someone else to break the fantasy.”

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