Rise of the Machines

Come with me now if you want a beautiful yard free of dog waste

By David Glenn Cox

The Republican long march continues, the Kultural Revolution rolls on. “I have a right to lie, but it is a crime for you to try and stop me.” The day will come when we will smash all your machines and burn all your books! These things take on a life of their own. The first Terminator models just picked up dog poop and opened the garage door. (Come with me now if you want a beautiful yard free of dog waste!) So, there is really no surprise in what little Margie Greene brings to the table. She is the standing sergeant at arms for the Republican Committee on Unintelligence. Like Jim Jordan investigating January 6th insurrection. Don’t accuse him of playing dumb, he ain’t playin. A louder and more vociferous critic you won’t find anywhere no matter what we are talking about. A talking parrot on a perch. Say, “Polly want a cracker and watch him get all upset.”

But Margie is special, she brings forward an important point through literal example. She goes on Twitter and tells her lies. She is banned for twelve whole hours and calls it a “Communist style attack.” What does that even mean? How about a Royalist Attack? Or the Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman maybe? I shall support anti-intellectualism by be’s one. Does she mean missiles among the sugar cane fields? Meaningless buzz words to promote two minutes of hate. “Do you really want to know why they banned me? Cause there’s something wrong with them! They aren’t to be trusted comrade. They do it with big machines; you can’t trust machines, you know. You’ve got to watch your ass around numbers too. Tricky thing numbers.

When corrected by a reporter Margie laughed and said, “You’re so funny.” Facts don’t matter anymore you can’t hurt me with your pitiful facts. She lies to get attention. She gets attention and then lies about getting attention to seek even more attention. But of course, she means she is being attacked Stalinist Russia style. Proving once again her inability to muster even the primitive skill of hyperbole. “Dog like car…warm!” In Stalinist Russia, they’d let you off with a warning and ten years in a gulag without a calendar for first time offenders. It was called a “Tenner.” Possession of a radio tube, a tenner. You have other friends with radio tubes, don’t you? “In the Soviet Union you cannot get the death penalty, only life.”

Margie is that kid doing a book report who obviously hasn’t read the book. She knows what she’s heard from others and whatever she can glean from the book jacket. “The New York Times said it was a wonderful romp and gave it four stars! Published by Random House! Thank you and have a wonderful afternoon!” Like the Three Stooges she doesn’t have any idea how dumb she appears. She’s got dumb at home shoved in a drawer that she hasn’t even taken out of the original packaging. Just do what the other kids do, only louder.

They can’t ban me for lying! Who do they think they are? Free speech! Just because they own the place and I agreed to it, they think they can tell me what to do! But do you know what? They banned me, just like Donald Trump so I must be important, just like Donald Trump. I bet if I do it again, I can get even more attention. Cause it helps with the fundraising. I bet, if I try real hard, I could get banned for life just like Donald Trump. Do you know how important that would make me? Then I could say I wasn’t banned for lying. I was banned for telling the truth and that they are lying. It’s their machines; their machines pick on Conservatives. We must stop their machines.

Another top Trump aide was arrested as acting as a foreign agent adding to the collection of top Trump aides accused of acting as a foreign agent. “As your lawyer, I recommend you appoint this guy.” Gee boss, as your friend I think you should appoint this guy. Duh, okay. The orange bamboozler being bamboozled and peppered with questions while he’s trying to watch himself of Faux News. A revolving door of agents working for various foreign factions. Trying to influence Trumpo using him as their personal ATM machine because he is too stupid and too lazy to examine the facts for himself. I can see him watching Sean Hannity and shouting over his shoulder from the Laz-E-Boy, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Appoint him. I’m trying to watch my show!”

They called it the dark ages because the Pope went with his gut on most issues. Scholars read ancient texts from Greece and Rome and thought, we better hide these quick. Aqueducts, what do we need with aqueducts? You too good to go down to the river with a bucket now? Have you been consorting with the devil again? Education makes you untrustworthy in the fits of a religious psychosis. Faith over fact, belief over believable. Do you know what every sorcerer must have…a book. Books say bad things about Conservatives, we must stop the teaching of things which make us look bad. Thus, we can create a better world and abracadabra we’re there! To say it is so, is to make it so.

“Has Galileo recanted his satanic theory that the earth revolves around the sun?” No, your Holiness. “Then arrest him seize his books and smash his machines.” A dark message from the past as a spitball into the future.

“When did it all start, you ask, this job of ours (to burn books). There was no dictum, no declaration, no censorship. Technology, mass exploitation, and minority pressure carried the trick, thank God. Ask yourself what do people want in this country above all? People want to be happy, isn’t that right? That’s all we live for, isn’t it? For pleasure, for titillation?”
― Ray Bradbury

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