By David Glenn Cox
Like a glacier sliding downhill and hitting a mountain then making a right turn or the scratchy, flickering film images of the last Confederate soldier. The sad inevitability of being the remainders and reminders. The aged warrior body shriveled inside the clothes of their youth. Donald Rumsfeld’s dead enders, the last Samurai, the last guys in John Travolta’s white disco suit. The old guy who sits on the porch a lot mumbling to himself.
Mike Lindell was the all-American boy. Jack Armstrong, getting rich on ambition and TV commercials. Then like out of an ABC Afterschool Special, he started hanging out with that new boy, Donald. And as they say, it was all downhill from there. His mood changed, and he stopped hanging out with his old friends. The new kid was puffing him up making him feel important, telling him he was special. It makes you wonder, did Lindell get so far inside the Twump bottle he really believes the nonsense he spews? Or is it like a child with a pet turtle, “Shelly is only sleeping!” In denial, in the toilet and off to find Nemo.
Sioux Falls, South Dakota, was chosen by Lindell to host his international event due to its uncrowded airport and its great budget rates. To host a “symposium” or a live version of a late-night pillow infomercial. Lindell only changes the venue, not the show. This week it is a “symposium,” last month it was a press conference or a news briefing, or an update. More of the same, more or less, and less is more. But Lindell has added a new wrinkle, a new villain. Faux News refused to air Lindell’s fact less based political infomercials, so in spite Lindell pulled all his advertising. This where my business background comes into play. 5% of your customers cause 95% of your headaches. “Boss, that crazy guy is on line three again.”
It’s the last waltz, last call at the Poppa John Schnatter’s humanitarian banquet and memorial keg party. They’ve lost Faux, Faux lost $50 million in advertising. But facing a billion-dollar lawsuit, puts pencil to paper and does the simple arithmetic and tells Lindell to take a hike. As Lindell cries, “Shame on you Faux News! At least we know where CNN and all these terrible outlets come from.” Way to win the crowd over Mike. I can imagine cameramen breaking down their equipment at this point and calling the airlines and calling it a day. “But at least they attack, and then we can get the word out.” What word is that, Mike?
This calls for the home version of “Looney or Leave him Alone.” America’s favorite game where you decide if he should be allowed to roam loose among you. You first insult the people who did show up as an insult to those who didn’t. I’d like to thank all the shit hole stations for being here tonight. You low life sons of a bitches showed up, but not Faux. Oh, hell no! One-billion-dollar lawsuit and they aren’t your friend anymore, not like you miserable bastards. You ain’t worth a shit, but at least you’re dependable. Look at me! I’m looking down the barrel of a billion-dollar lawsuit too! But you don’t see me turning chicken. What are the chances I’ll still have two nickels left to rub together before they ever get a judgement?
The department stores have stopped carrying my products. I don’t advertise my products on those shit hole stations, and I just told Faux to stick it where the sun don’t shine! Oh well, there’s always China. Cóng yángjī dìguó zhǔyì zhě nàlǐ gòumǎi zhěntou! Shuìmián hǎo! Or buy pillow from Yankee imperialist! Sleep good!
Rudy Guliani has been disbarred and has recently become employed by a service where you, yes you. Can talk to a celebrity (or former celebrity) over the telephone or have them record your voicemail message. “Hi, this is Rudy Giuliani, Dave’s not home right now. But leave a message, and if the Fed’s don’t confiscate his phone in connection with Hunter Biden’s laptop, he’ll call you right back!” His literal partner in crime, Sidney Powell along with Lindell, face long faces and a long litigation ending with a bucket of water thrown on to Powell and the rest. Then the guards will give her broom away to Dorothy. A Federal Judge denied the trios hastily thought up excuses for why they shouldn’t be held liable for telling lies to the public. This is the last chapter as the tide goes out, next stop epilogue, poverty and obscurity.
It is all over but for the check writing, crash meet burn. Nineteen Republicans voted for Joe Biden’s infrastructure bill against Trump’s opposition. At least two states are in open revolt, against Republican Governor’s executive orders. Ron DeSantis who thought he would be king someday finds with his plummeting popularity that he couldn’t be the Hotdog King of Fort Walton Beach. Rand Paul was banned from You Tube and Margie Greene was banned from Twitter. Where is the outrage? Why aren’t the American people rising up to defend their Conservative Icons? Because the party is over.
You don’t see Twump’s name in the headlines for what he is doing anymore, only for what he has done. He hasn’t realized it and hasn’t got the memo yet, but he’s retired as in, past tense. The three ratcateers are useless appendages now, warts on a dead man, three-day old cake. The Supreme Court isn’t going to reinstate Donald Twump as President in August or in OZ…it’s over.
Twump says nothing to support those who sacrificed their careers attempting to support his. It’s jail house rules now, if you get caught, I don’t know you and we never met. Rudy Giuliani? “Never heard of him.” Sidney Powell? “I can’t place him.” Ron DeSantis? “Who?” Mike Lindell, “Nope, drawing a blank.” Trump is the one on trial, though his name isn’t listed in the court documents. If the ratcateers lose this lawsuit, they are convicted liars and Twump is guilty. And Twump already knows that they are guilty and thinks that they are going to lose the lawsuit and so, cuts them loose.
The rats always turn on each other in the last chapter.