By David Glenn Cox
They say that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of Insanity. Lunacy is doing the same thing over and over when you don’t profit from it. Friday is a busy day in the Republican Party. It’s the day when they bury the bodies of their bad ideas in the Elephant’s graveyard, also known as the Friday night news dump. Getting five hundred dollars out of petty cash to fund a cocaine fueled weekend and picking up a date at the local High School. Friday is busy, busy, busy.
The reason, the Arizona Cyber Ninja’s vote recount got all sideways and added to Joe Biden’s victory margin. Unfazed and unaware, Twump now wants a recount in Texas, a state that Twump originally won. Do you think that they’ll notice? Twump is contesting the results of a vote count in a state that he won?” This is the frog in the blender trying to get our attention. Waving as he passes by at sixty miles an hour, trying to convince all the little Trumplets to keep sending him cash. The SS Trumptanic has struck an iceberg and is dead in the water.
W. C. Fields said, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit, there’s no point in making yourself look like a damn fool about it.” Advice Maggie Greene should have learned, but that ain’t gonna happen in this lifetime. When they’re laughing at you and not with you, and you don’t know the difference. Mental Maggs, mesmerized the membership in a meticulous explaining of the faults of our foreign policy. A holy Don Quixote mission, using only a five-foot-tall cartoon picture of “Fred” from “Scooby Doo.” (She’s never been accused of going highbrow.) The revelations are stunning, and viewer discretion is advised.
Who is responsible for Covid-19? The Chinese Communist Party. Who is responsible for mask mandates and scary dangerous vaccines? That’s right, the Chinese Communist Party. Then the cheese began to slide off the cracker. Why does Joe Biden support masks and vaccinations in the face of a deadly disease? You guessed it; he’s in cahoots with the Chinese Communist Party. It’s all part of a devilishly secret plot that Maggs alone has discovered. Apparently, Maggs sees Communists everywhere. If the limo is driver is late, there is probably a Communist behind it. When the tampon dispenser doesn’t work in the lady’s room…it’s the Communists again, clever bastards.
Matt Gaetz is about to begin his second month of honeymoon bliss. Cheer up Matt, think of it as marrying two, 14-year old’s. Look at the bright side, she can drive. You can take her to “R” rated movies, and she can buy beer without a fake ID! The couple is believed to be honeymooning in another dimension. A dimension without media or incriminating witnesses. Matt hopes to stay there until the next election cycle is over, after abandoning his “Honey, I Shrunk the Party Tour” with Marge Greene. Famously making speeches and getting run off from various locations and prominent sidewalks across America.
This is today’s Republican Party! (Add Titanic theme music here.) Donald Twump wound up his toy monkey the other day. Jim Jordan came out of his box climbing on the drapes and peeing on the rug. Jabbering almost incoherently, “Donald Twump told me to say he’s going to run again, part II.” Jordan then put his hand over his mouth play acting and saying, “Oops, did I say that?” Okay monkey, I want you to go out there and get me some headlines! Do a good job and there is banana in it for you! Jordan has a brain slug and so, has no will of his own. He must do the bidding of his orange master even down to cocking his head appearing confused, staring at the record player.
Twump has shattered the Republican Party into a million pieces. The Party is divided between those who say Fuck it! Let’s go crazy. And the “Let’s at least try to put Humpty Dumpty back together again” faction. Because of Twump, Republicans are leaving the party by the thousands. Because of Twumpers Republicans are leaving the Arizona Republican Party. Some voluntarily, some by suggestion. Maricopa County Supervisor Clint Hickman has called for the resignation of Kelli Ward. The chairwoman of the Arizona Republican Party, and instigator of the vote recount.
“I think the time has come. She has now led us to a part where our former president has lost publicly the Arizona vote again to Joe Biden,” Hickman said of Ward. “That is horrible, and I will not stand for this type of leadership.”
In our last episode, Arizona Republican Supervisor Steve Churi, had just resigned last week. After being caught on tape, saying that he couldn’t go along with this whole phony bologna election recount scheme! It’s called the Nixon rule. If a Republican ever gets caught accidentally telling the truth on tape or video, they must resign. But now, despite their failure, recounts are popping up like dandelions and madness in spring. Missouri, Michigan, Texas, and Wisconsin. Exercise in futility classes for the faint of consciousness.
It is now the end of September, soon the holidays and then the snow flies, then 2022. The Presidential election will be a year old and elections return in a year. Is this the new Republican slogan? “Fighting for our past and oblivious towards your future!” Meddlesome Mitch is threatening to tank the economy! Low rent Boebert, begins her campaign to; Imeach Joe Biden! A hint — have someone in the office check that spelling. I’m not sure if Imeach is exactly the right word you’re looking for.
You’ll never win a Noble Prize for spelling. Maybe Redesign, she wants to Imeach the hell out of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris should redesign. Because of whatever. It’s a fuck up (free space) just make up your own reason why she wants to Imeach the President and Vice-President. Let’s your imagination run wild! Note: No points will ever be deducted for references to reality.
Hint: It involves the Chinese Communist Party.