Mutants and Mama’s Boys

Falling through the Universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

I’ll tell you the truth; this job doesn’t pay much, but the perks, ah, the perks. When I was in elementary school, I built a model of the Roman Coliseum made entirely from sugar cubes. On the last day of school, I turned the garden hose on it and melted it into the back yard. That was fun, this is more fun. Watching as the superstructure of Twumpism begins to melt into the backyard and fertilize the lawn with their tears and remonstrance’s. Think: Charlie Brown “WHAAA!”

The Trumpanzis are getting all worked up and throwing their turds through cage bars at us again, and it’s funnier than Gomer Pyle on acid. “Shazam!” I was led to a Tick Toc video where your typical Twumper types were advising federal officials that they want to be included on the federal watch/No fly list! That they don’t care and don’t fly much anyway.

In his thirties, long beard, short…memory. He begins his video by putting firearms and ammunition on his bed. Talking slowly. So clever in his word play, that only the brain dead couldn’t tell he was actually making veiled threats agin the Federal government. Noticeable was his single bed! Maybe, it’s not actually Twump that he’s angry about. Maybe, we’ve found the source of his deep-seated anger and aggression issues?

He grabs his camouflage backpack with his army helmet attached, “Uh huh, you all know what I’m talking about. Time to do that thing, you know. We’s had enough of them Democratic Nazis picking on Donald Twump, just because he’s a criminal.”

I had to watch the video several times, because it was just too damn funny to watch just once. G.I. Joe threatens America! Well, let me ask you something there General Patton. After you shoot off all the ammunition on your single bed. Are you going fall back and run to the gun store and buy some more? Or maybe have some airdropped by some other patriot with a helicopter. It’s beyond comical, it’s becoming pathetic.

The delusional belief that “G.I. Joe, the one-man army.” Is going to take out the Federal Government. He will rise, and then his neighbors will also rise. Becoming an army of millions with beer guts and no female accomplices. Armed with a revolutionary spirit, a motorcycle and an AR-15. They’re out to teach those Democratic Nazis a lesson Rambo style they won’t soon forget.

“Ma! Shut up, I’m trying to podcast down here! We’re starting a revolution Ma! Your basement will be famous someday Ma. Of course, I’ll clean it up before then! Ma look, I have to get to Washington right away. I need twenty dollars for gas money. No, not for the car Ma. For the Molotov Cocktails! Ma, I already told you, I won’t use your canning jars anymore. That was just that one time!”

In these days of troubled times, “Let’s go on Internet and threaten the Federal government.” Sound like a good plan to you? Got any other hobbies? Make em stop, before I wet myself from laughing so hard.

How are you going to get around Charlie Brown? Gonna wear your fatigues your backpack and helmet on the bus? And who do you plan to shoot first to initiate this Civil War of yours? Take a few pot shots at Fort Sumter maybe, and wait at the telegraph office for further instructions from President Davis in Montgomery?

He mentioned several conspiracies that I’ve never even heard of. Those secret conspiracies, that only the initiated and intellectually gifted, subterranean dweller fellers have heard about. “Nancy Pelosi wants to exterminate all the squirrels or make us drive electric cars and teach gay sex to preschoolers.” 

From the same people, who brought you the bizarre sex dungeon. And all you can eat cannibal buffet, child sex pizza parlor basement conspiracy. Really making a case for reverse evolution and general dumb assery.

Won’t they ever catch on? Don’t they ever count up all the promises and match them up to reconcile them against the deliveries?

They chanted and hollered, “Lock her up!” a thousand nights lost in a delusional haze trance frenzy. And as of yesterday; Hillary Clinton has not yet been locked up! And walks the streets today as free as a bird! Faux Breaking News, Date line Washington: Hillary is really gonna get it this time! Just you wait, she’ll be cooling her heels in pokey any day now!

Hunter Biden’s laptop, the oldest trick in the book. “Yes, I’m the President’s son out doing menial errands normally assigned to a minimum wage office boy. I need you to work on this computer. I paid more for lunch than than this five year old computer is worth. But you see, it’s got a lot of incriminating E-mails that if true, could send me up the river for years. So that’s why I’ve come to you complete strangers. You see, I don’t have anybody that I can trust to do my IT work. So, I take my computers to complete strangers, whom I hope aren’t Republican operatives.

But the answer is obvious, the whole world, all the judges and cops and D.A.’s in the whole world,  are all crooked, every last one of them. And what’s more…they are all out to get us! Every last one of them! Twump’s election challenges, swept away. Just you wait, any day now Rudy or Mike Lindell will bust this case wide open.

Rudy “it’s five o’clock somewhere” Giuliani was recently given a lecture by a Georgia judge. Rudy told her he was too sick to fly on an airplane to testify about his role in Twump’s plans to steam roll over Georgia. The judge responded that Rudy had better catch a train or hire an Uber.

Even isolated in the Reich wing subterranean homesick blues theater of the absurd. Some of this information is leaking through. And Bubba loading his guns, is a spasm of pain of that reality breaking through. Bitterly angry, because the truth is busting through the door, and he can no longer ignore or deny it. The light coming through from the crack under the door. Disturbing the fantasy and unsettling the cult. Grabbing nail guns or high-capacity caulking guns, they’re going off the rails on the crazy train.

“You cain’t do that to my Donald Twump! En get away with it! Me and my army of mutants and momma’s boys say, “No more!” We’ll drive to Washington en teach them liberals a lesson. We just gotta stand up and make our voices heard.

“You’re gonna be famous Ma! When I’m a big patriot hero Ma. And after we’ve overthrown the tyranny of the Federal government Ma. Donald Twump is gonna pin a big Congressional medal honor on my chest Ma! I can see it now Ma! I’m gonna be famous someday Ma!


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