What Do We Do If the Bhagwan’s Not Home?

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Go to Jail, go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Skincare consultant and fashion editor for Better Drunks and Hobos Magazine. Steve Bannon will surrender himself yet again to legal authorities today. No need to Google the courthouse or figure out which door to use. Bannon is accused of being involved in a scheme to fleece the hoosters of their hard earn coin.

“I’m gonna build that wall if I have to do it all by myself! But if you wanna send me a check or a swipe of your credit card, I won’t say “no.” In fact, it would make things a whole lot easier on my many trips to Home Depot for nails and glue and such.” Bannon is alleged to have absconded with over one million dollars in hooster funds. And as we all know, the wall was never completed.

It was an imaginary work of fiction after all, a golden bridge to nowhere! Like building an Ark. “Why sure, that would work!” Why with hundreds of miles of wall to be built at over a million dollars a mile. The hoosters would have to adopt the project to the level of heroin addiction, for any hope of success. There just ain’t enough hoosters around with a conservative mindset and liberal spending habits.

“It’s all political!” Bannon maintains. And the broken clock rule comes into play. “Woody, turn down the lights and start the projection.” Bannon is right, it is all political. If Twump hadn’t pardoned Bannon of these same charges at the Federal level, it never would have happened. Act in haste, repent in State prison.

Paul Manafort “America’s favorite traitor” had also been pardoned by Twump for his crimes. Only,  Manafort was pardoned after Federal prosecution, so that double jeopardy rules applied. Bannon was pardoned before Federal Prosecution, and so is a fat and juicy in their cross hairs. The reason at heart is political. Twump pardoned Bannon because he was guilty as a whore in church.

And bad things don’t happen to friends of the boss. The boss will fix it, have another beer. The boss supplies protection for the mob. Allowing a criminal syndicate to operate freely. Steal a million bucks from the hoosters? “Hey no problem. Fuck em, right?”

Many decades ago, I dated a woman with a Carny past, and she told me of Carny ways. Everyone had a nickname, so if the cops show up asking about you. Everyone could claim that they had never heard of you and be telling truth. The reason they felt it acceptable to pick the hoosters clean was simple. You showed up. What did you expect would happen on a carnival midway, glory? King of the Ring Toss?

So, Steve Bannon is correct. It is all political, the state court is going after Bannon for stealing a million dollars from Twump supporters. And the Twump supporters say? Animatronic Ventriloquist dummy Marco Rubio says, it’s all political. “The Feds are raiding every former Republican President’s house withholding stolen documents. “Let’ s talk about the outrage and not about the guilt.”

Yet Bannon is hobbled by the pardon. The innocent have no need of pardon to escape justice. If innocent, what did you need a pardon for? “No thanks don’t waste the ink, I’ll be fine.” Of course, under the laws of the land, the state court will ignore the Federal pardon. And will assume, the dead will somehow get better on their own.

Look at Steve Bannon. Look carefully at his appearance and his stylish manner of dress and ask yourself? Is this a man who plans very carefully and is on top of every detail? A man who could steal a million dollars and not buy a pocket comb with it or get haircut.

 Rather a man, who wakes up wearing his last beer on his warm-up pants on the sofa in the morning. A man who wakes up in the morning sometimes with an incredibly close view of the carpet. That’s what gives him that pasty look.

But Steve is 68 years, and a ten-year prison sentence would be pretty much drawing the curtains on his career. Twump is fading away like cheap barn paint, fighting his own Alamo court battles. Even Faux News recognizes it, asking the obvious. “Is Donald Twump selling those documents to Russia?” We wondered how he was keeping up with those payments.

When Faux mentions it, the use of the word “Duh” is appropriate. “Tonight, on Faux and Duh. Was Donald Twump selling classified documents to cover his failing Real Estate empire losses?  We’ll ask our panel of experts and see if they say “Duh” too!” Did the boss try and protect underlings in a criminal syndicate with pardons? “Duh!”

Disgraced, former Attorney General Bill Barr turns on the master. Declaring the Justice Department is getting ready to prosecute Twump. The problem being that Barr is so disgraced, that no one actually cares what he thinks anymore. He has invalided himself by himself, until a non-entity. Do not ask him what time it is, or where the train station is located. He can’t be trusted to tell the truth.

In the last days of a losing war, the orders never make any sense. Twump getting a special master as a Federal Judge overturns her career. The special master won’t change anything, except for the timetable, further allowing exposure of Twump’s criminality. “I’ll gladly pay you Thursday, for a hamburger today!”

Twump is fighting Twump’s battles not the Republican Party’s battles. He’s trying to drag his feet against the inevitable prosecution and to gin up support among shit storm Troopers embedded with the hoosters.

To drag this battle right into the midterm elections. Where forecasters predict doom for Republicans, if Twump is the central issue of the campaign. But Twump is about Twump and only the hoosters have yet to figured that out.

Early in World War Two, the Allies developed plans to assassinate the Fuhrer. But as the war progressed, those plans were scrapped. As it was thought by the allies, that replaced by anyone else. They might do a better and more competent job of it. It was considered the far wiser choice to leave him in charge.

Likewise, Twump’s legal team. Who is the head lawyer on the Twump legal team? Who makes the final decisions? “Follow me, men! Why, there ain’t no Indians at the Little Big Horn!” Dr. Doom leading the Republican Party into the valley of death to protect himself, using them yet again.

Where goes a cult without a cult leader? And where does he take the cult when he’s pinned to the mat? What do we do if the Bhagwan’s not home?

“Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well I have others.”
― Groucho Marx

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