The Weimar Republicans

Freikorps soldiers during their attempt to overthrow the Weimar government and restore the monarchy in an attempted coup known as the Kapp Putsch in March 1920.

By David Glenn Cox

Another day another Republican stunt. Imitation is the sincerest form Republicanism. After the Democrats nominated a woman as a Vice Presidential candidate. John McCain picked Sarah Palin as his running mate. The results were disastrous. Sarah fit the bill biologically but failed intellectually. Ironically, despite her huge failure in the election. Sarah became a conservative darling but only because she pees sitting down.

Only after numerous slurred misdirected and alcohol inspired speeches was Sarah dropped from the Pro Republican Wrestling circuit. But Sarah was the first Republican female nominee and so a token. See, women have a fair chance in the Republican Party. You might think the Republicans are anti woman. But see! They chose a woman once.

As a side note, Kevin McCarthy has already moved his stuff into the Speaker’s offices. Matt Gaetz called Kevin, “a squatter.” Good one Matt! (Broken clock rule in effect.) Ouch, how embarrassing is that move going to be if Kevin fails to win? Maybe Kevin could get George Santos to help him move out.

But poor George Santos is a perfect example of Republicanism. Anything you want, that’s who I am. Jewish? Sure, I’m Jewish! Did I get a good education? You bet, the best. I made the Dean’s list every semester and discovered Radium! Stephen Hawkins used to steal all my ideas! Only out of office Republicans critique poor George honestly. The rest are Harpo Marx silent and almost as funny as every seat counts! Even those gained by fraud and deception.

The Trump light has been turned off and the smoking lamp is lit. Smoke em if you got them! But what’s a Republican to do now? Who will be the voice of the Republican Party? Let’s see; they can’t use any former Republican speakers still in Prison. So, they dug up the corpse of Newt Gingrich. Gingrich is credited with his “contract for America” which failed so badly. Newt lost both his speakership and his office. But never mind Republicans have short memories anyway. The Republicans remember names but not much else.

See, the public will gladly accept a Republican fraud and a con man because every seat counts. Winning is everything! Just get Satan to put his tail inside his pants and lose the pitchfork and run him for office. “Oh, yes. I’m very religious, and I have a close personal relationship with God!” Satan is the great deceiver and so obviously a Republican.

How embarrassing it must be for Byron Donalds. Basically, Donalds who was elected in 2021, was placed in nomination for speaker only because he’s Black. Nominate someone to lead the House of Representatives with only two years of experience?

Nominated as the Republican’s token black friend. Then, if it wasn’t embarrassing enough. In the nominating speech Republicans congratulated themselves for their forward thinking. They mentioned Abe Lincoln and the Reconstruction Republicans. Patting themselves on the back as proof the Republican Party is Party for minorities.

Sure, the Republicans rail and fundraise by fuming against Black Lives Matter. George Floyd was just asking for it! They think that this stunt somehow actually helps them. But only fools the fools in their own Party. And the fools are relived that Mr. Donalds didn’t win. But you know a Black Republican is a good way to get to the head of the line quick.

There was a once a Federal Judge who attended college on an affirmative action scholarship. Who then ruled against affirmative action after becoming a Federal Judge. Ronald Reagan was so impressed by this he nominated Clerance Thomas to the Supreme Court. If you want to move up in the world there are only two paths. Work yourself up or suck yourself up.

Sure Boss, I’ll go get you coffee!

Kevin McCarthy has been working towards this moment for years. At first during the summer negotiations, McCarthy declared the Speakership his by divine right and political succession. Then after bluster failed. McCarthy threatened the Confederate rebels warning them that the nail that sticks up will be hammered down. And that strategy might have worked, if the rebels didn’t know how to count or do basic sixth grade math.

Then McCarthy fell back on dealing with the Confederate rebels through negotiations. But the second he began to negotiate with them, McCarthy was done. The rebels know McCarthy would do anything to obtain the office. So, the Rebels made demands that would weaken the Speaker’s office. They want a showcase and a platform for MAGA extremism that dooms McCarthy and his speakership and the Republicans on day one.

The Confederate rebels want the power to break apart and stop spending bills by personal fiat. Not for any other purpose than self-promotion. So, Kevin’s keys to power are dependent on giving up power and letting the monkeys run the zoo. But by this point, Kevin’s goose is already cooked.

 The Confederate rebels have won the war! They can’t lead and they won’t follow. A clear indication of a power vacuum. They aren’t loyal to the Republican Party. They aren’t loyal to the Constitution. These Confederate rebels would like nothing better than to tie this country into knots.

Always remember, fascism requires political instability to prosper. A prospering economy always sinks radical thought. You need a crisis to make headway.

So, I will now read the tea leaves and the entrails of a goat and prognosticate the future.

The Confederate rebels will foist a budget shut down by refusing to raise the debt ceiling. And every time the Republicans shut down the government, it blows up in their Republican faces. But yet, they will try it again. They could ask Newt what happens when you shut down the government.

The Confederates rebels will try to defund the war in Ukraine. Oblivious of history. Oblivious of the danger they place us in. Why should we fight Hitler? That sounds expensive! Just give him the Sudetenland, and he’ll go away!

Now, the People’s Republic of China is watching this very closely. If we abandon Ukraine, we abandon Taiwan at the same time. The Chinese will see the West as a paper tiger and will pounce on the Island. What would Japan think? If the US abandons Taiwan and Ukraine? What does our commitment to Japan mean or to anyone mean?

Japan would be the new Poland. The Chinese wouldn’t invade Japan they would simply intimidate Japan and the west would lose all influence in the region. Leaving hundreds of millions of people considered to be our closet allies hanging out to dry.

Marge Greene is already striking up the band by asking, “When did Ukraine become a state?”

Not unlike the original Nazis, the Confederate rebels violently attempted to take power on January 6th but failed. So, they will now drop back and try to use the political system to strangle the political system. By throwing sand into the gears of the Weimar government.

The only chance the Republicans have for survival here is to expel the Confederate rebels and take their lumps and keep their Party. But that would take ah? What’s the word I’m looking for here? Character? A spine?

Willing to tolerate the rebels who will destroy them for two years of limited house leadership. Willing to sleep with their assassins. Willing to make deals with the devil. Willing to sell out for better office and a plaque on the door. To sell out to those whose goal is no different than it ever was. Sedition and revolution.

“Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well I have others.”
― Groucho Marx

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