Bat Country

By David Glenn Cox

With shades of George Orwell, it’s George Santos 2.0. Sharon Toney – Finch of late, the woman accused orchestrating the phony veterans thrown out of a hotel to house migrant’s scheme. The former Army truck driver and proud recipient of the Army’s vaunted “Good Conduct Medal” has been doing the ole George Santos routine.

Ms. Toney – Finch has made the rounds of conservative media outlets telling her Audie Murphy/Sargent York tales. She’s been inducted into the New York State Senate Veteran’s Hall of Fame. She’s also listed in the National Purple Heart Hall of Fame. She’s even appeared on Fox and Friends, pedaling Purple Heart commemorative coins.

During her service in Iraq, she fought bravely and drove her truck through an ambush. She was injured and lay in a coma for six months and had 82 surgeries! Wow, how can I get me some of them commemorative coins? She woke up in a hospital in Germany. But through some Army bureaucratic SNAFU, the Army told the Daily Beast they had no record of her injuries or the ambush.

I myself fought bravely in the battle of Al-gebra and suffered traumatic brain injuries which still haunt me today, leaving me unable to do higher math. I fought in the gazpacho campaign which left me cold. I was at the battle of Chateaubriand which left a bad taste in my mouth.

Just make it up as you go, those gullible Republican fools will believe anything in the Post Trump – George Santos world. Big Brother will be increasing the chocolate ration soon!

No record of receiving a Purple Heart and no record of any injuries.

“I am 100 percent disabled, that’s the question,” she went on. “I use a walker, I still don’t have feeling on my right side. This is so getting out of hand… I don’t know why people are pulling up my Army records.” – Sharon Toney – Finch

I dunno, maybe because you claim to be a wounded decorated veteran which the Army doesn’t know about. A veteran in a coma for six months which the Army hospital has no record of. Or maybe, you’re just a liar looking to capitalize on your veteran status by juicing it up some.

Maybe it’s because she’s involved in a total fabrication claiming veterans were pushed out of a hotel to make room for migrants maybe. Not everyone can get a Purple Heart medal, you know. Not unless you go on the Amazon website with $55.99 plus shipping and handling. Genuine Purple Heart medals come with a certificate complete with the recipient’s date of injury. The Army also keeps a database in a big computer machine up in Washington of Purple Heart recipients and Ms. Toney – Finch ain’t on it.

Gee, I remember back in the good old days when John Kerry was lambasted by Republicans for his service in Vietnam, where he really did receive medals for heroism. But for Toney – Finch, its one toke over the line. In today’s modern Republican Party just saying it makes it so. “I once mud wrestled the Ayatollah Khomeini in the best three falls and kicked Barack Obama’s butt in a game of Scrabble.”

Well Senator, we can’t produce our secret witness before the committee because he’s a secret. Hunter Biden’s laptop has nuclear secrets on it! It’s all part of their Rock & Roll Fantasy. Just make shit up and throw it at the wall and see what sticks. You know, like veterans being displaced to make room for migrants. Big brother is increasing the chocolate ration and such.

Say it ain’t so Joe! Republican New York assemblyman Brian Maher took to Fox News airwaves to criticize the merciless Joe Biden.  For implementing his inhuman policy of making our proud veterans homeless to house migrants. But never mind that the Republicans are currently holding the VA budget hostage and threatening a 22% cut in the budget for our proud veterans.

The trouble all began when the hotel manager told the local newspaper. “There were no veterans at the hotel, none were kicked out and no other guests were told to vacate.” Whoops, never let the facts get in the way of a good story.

Meanwhile, back in hell’s waiting room, Texas. Ted Cruz, America’s clown Prince has initiated an investigation into, wait for it… Bud Light. If it were so that Ted were chairman of the Special Select Senate sub-committee on watered down shitty beer. I’d proudly stand behind Ted. But no, this is about  Transgender activist Dylan Mulvaney.

The Party of big tobacco and pro-fossil fuels, higher prescription drug prices and loosening environmental regulations really has their lace panties in a bunch over the 26-year-old Transgender activist. In today’s modern Republican Party corporations should just shut the fuck up or seek prior approval before saying or doing anything which Republicans might not like. Be you real or be you cartoon mouse. It’s straight Fascism, no chaser. Don’t piss us off, or we’ll come gunning for you!

But follow along closely as this one is pretty loosed weaved. Cruz and Marsha (nutty as a pecan pie) Blackburn sent a letter to “The Beer Institute.” Who knew there really was such an organization? Is Homer Simpson the Chairman? The comedy team of Cruz and Blackburn want to know if Anheuser – Bush partnership with Mulvaney violates the terms conditions and holy writs of the almighty Beer Institute.

For it is written; thou shalt not advertise and or market to individuals younger than the legal drinking age.  As the letter goes on to say, “Mulvaney’s audience skews significantly younger than the legal drinking age.” Ted Cruz wouldn’t even know who Dylan Mulvaney was, if not for the Bud Light controversy. So how could he possibly know which way the audience skews? How could you ever prove such a thing? But it’s Republicans, so you don’t have to prove it.

Ted knows one thing and one thing only. Headlines, headlines and headlines! A chance get his name before the public in the never-ending Republican, let’s be hateful parade. Let’s beat up on migrants and Transgenders and school teachers. Let’s make shit up and see what sticks! Back in the old days, Republicans once shouted from their bully pulpit, (pun intended) “Let the free market work! Keep the government out of it.”

Reportedly, Anheuser – Bush has suffered a 23% decline in sales of butt hurt Bud Light drinkers. Offended and outraged that a corporation would dare cater to an audience they don’t personally like. Back when I was kid in Chicago. The same folks had their knickers in a twist and called for a boycott because a local TV station hired a Black man to read the six o’clock news. They could have just changed the channel, but Nooo, that wasn’t good enough!

It was just bigotry, no differently than today. The Nazi propaganda once said, Poland had attacked Germany. Russian propaganda recently claimed that Vladimir Putin was a kind and compassionate humanitarian, not like those bloodthirsty Ukrainians or Joe Biden.

In a post Trump/Santos Republican Party truth has no meaning, like paint swatches for a blind man. Just tell them it’s pretty and they will believe. You can piss on their heads and tell them it’s raining, and they won’t ever know the difference. Tell them the yellow snow is really a lemon snow cone. They’re thick as a post and dumber than a bag of hammers.

“Poor bastard. Wait ’till he sees the bats. ”
― Hunter S. Thompson

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