That Thing About Humpty Dumpty

By David Glenn Cox

Lest we forget, “DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN.” The only real threat to Joe Biden’s reelection is voter apathy. “Oh, this thing is in the bag. It won’t matter if I vote.” Now that the polls have turned in our favor, everybody wants to talk about them and rejoice. I hate to say it, but I told me so. These repeated images of Trump in court or Trump at the defense table will take their toll.

What do you see in your mind’s eye these days when you read? Trump is in_________ again today? Mara-A-Lago? Forbes Magazine? The funny papers? Let’s see, five letters. I’d like to guess the puzzle.

Donald Trump has done this to himself with the ole dying swan victimhood routine. The belief that Trump’s squeak and squawk performances day after day, somehow helps him. Like a spacecraft reentering the Earth’s atmosphere as it slows, the heat shield burns away. Like Space Invaders after a while, the shields are just too worn down to be of much good.

A scowling, snarling, Mr. Wilson with a broken window and Dennis’s baseball in his hand. After a while, it becomes predictable, then tedious. “Goodnight John boy.” What chu talkin bout Willis? “Crooked courts and judges!” It is quite a low-key performance. Forbidden to speak about the case publicly, Trump attempts to woo the faithful with facial expressions and body language alone. Like a prisoner at the Hanoi Hilton on camera blinking in Morse code, send more money!

The polls show a growing trend of sinking poll numbers for the former President among independent voters. But don’t pay any attention to any polls, pro or con. Make sure the cockroach is dead (metaphorically speaking) before you sit back down on the couch. Don’t let Dracula escape Von Helsing yet again.  

By Trump eliminating all the small fry before the convention. He has eliminated any sort of conversation about the election. Instead, Trump will get thumped in court day after day, until it becomes stale news. “Also in the news, Day 47 of the Trump trial is set to begin.” It’s not a good look, despite all the free publicity. The forecast is for more of the same, day after day, and we haven’t even gotten to the good stuff yet.

Thump, thump, thump pride goeth before a fall. The more Trump fumes the more he begins to look just like a defendant. Just like any other defendant caught red-handed in court, proclaiming his innocence to one and all.  Let’s see, It’s not even May yet. How will this Trump message sell in September? How can Trump save himself? The short version is he can’t.

Vote For Me! I’m not guilty! It’s those crooked courts and judges, I swear! They’re all out to get me!

It could be entirely possible by September, the election becomes a laugher with only the Trumpozoids still defending the fort. It’s just as possible, it will make little difference. A cult is a cult and Trumpers are Trumpers until they walk into traffic, fall off a ladder or stick their finger in a light socket. But even among the faithful there is a festering doubt. They still like Trump and even love Trump, but don’t think he should be President again.

Either these voters don’t believe Trump can win, or they don’t think he deserves to run again. These voters don’t want to come right out say that Trump did wrong, but they know it in their hearts. Day after day in court reenforces that creeping feeling in the voter’s minds, this guy is just guilty, damn it all. They really hate that he’s guilty, but they know it’s so. All these people around Trump being found guilty of crimes and turning on him. With each conviction or plea agreement, it just gets a little harder and harder to believe in Trump’s innocence. Everyone around him is guilty, but he’s innocent?

Then you have the Republican intelligentsia (Insert laughter here) who realize that Trump is taking the Trumptanic straight for the fucking iceberg. And when it’s all over and the waves has settled down, there won’t be enough left of the Republican Party to pick up in a fishnet. The conman will be gone, but the con will remain.

The Trump team sends out a letter requesting 5% of all Republican candidate’s money, if they use Trump’s likeness in any of their fundraising. Da boss thinks you should cough up part of your haul cause you love the boss, don’t you? Well, the boss loves you too, so cough it up. No word yet on any voluntary contributions coming in. Me thinks they all love da boss, but not quite that much.

But this on the heels of sparkly shoes (I’m sorry, I just couldn’t stop myself) and sparkly Bibles. It smacks of desperation, of anything for a buck Inc.. Buy the “I love Jesus two pack! A pair of sparkly shoes and a sparkly Bible and save!” Coming up in our next hour of QVC, the former President sells ladies jewelry, home appliances and steel belted radial tires.

It all goes back to that thing about Humpty Dumpty and his great fall. You can’t ever put him back up on the wall once he’s fallen.  It’s not just the same anymore. The mob is conflicted which is never good news. Superman can’t be wanted on pickpocketing charges. Trump can blow smoke up their anal orifice all he likes, but deep down inside, the mob begins to suspect Trump is probably guilty.

Some even suspect, the Music Man has been lying to them all along and their musical instruments aren’t really on the way. After all, the Wells Fargo wagon has come and gone, and they got nothing.