By David Glenn Cox
It’s the story about a Pecker and a dick. About a little dick who wanted to be a big dick and wanted Pecker’s help. It sounds like something Aesop once wrote, doesn’t it? The Pecker owned “The Moron Times” aka, “The National Enquirer.” Who would have ever thunk it? American elections could be thwarted by the National Enquirer? That’s a sad commentary on this country indeed, and worthy of investigation.
The catching and killing of stories are as old as the hills, that’s one thing. However, the planting of negative stories about the little dick’s little adversaries is something else. They all do it. Willian Randolph Hearst was famous for buying up negative stories. The film Citizen Kane angered Hearst mainly because he couldn’t stop it. Hearst banned advertisements for the film in his newspapers. You can’t really blame someone for trying to cover up their embarrassing messes.
But using a complicit press pretending to be a free press telling lies about opposing candidates to gain a political advantage. It is one of the most astounding cultural events of our time, like flagpole sitting or the Jitterbug dance marathons of days gone by. Why would anyone need to make up or embellish negative stories about Ted Cruz? When there is more than enough factual negative information out there currently available.
I guess, it’s just easier to make it up. Less fact checking involved and less expense following leads. “Hey, we got deadlines around here. I want that Ted Cruz story on my desk by four o’clock! Why not do a story about the family member Ted Cruz left behind? When he fled the failing Texas infrastructure, during an ice storm. Ted left behind his faithful dog in a house without power or heat. I guess the maid could check in on him and let him out if the roads clear. They’ll be home soon boy!
We aren’t talking about refugees fleeing to a Red Cross evacuation center set up in a Middle School gymnasium someplace. This was a US Senator fleeing to a luxury Resort hotel in the sun for a week. Why go to all the trouble and expense of kenneling your dog, when you can just leave him at home alone. Dogs can operate can openers, can’t they? He’ll be fine. Frozen Texas goodbye! Frozen Margaritas, here I come!
Cruz received media criticism for abandoning his constituents during an emergency. But look at the full spectrum of the story. Ted left his constituents which honestly, Cruz could do little for in the emergency. But he left his own dog just as callously, which he could have done things for. Like not abandon him for the week. Let’s get real; Texas voters have no reason to complain. Ted Cruz doesn’t give a shit about his own dog. How can they expect him to care about his constituents? It shows the empathy meter is rocking on Empty.
So, the little dick said to the Pecker, call my friend Michael Cohen and he will get you any checks you may need. As a general sort of a rule the little dick didn’t believe in buying up stories unless seriously damaging. But the Pecker knew better than the dick. The thought of the little dick having a torrid two-minute love affair with a stripper. Ever reaching the voters deafened ears could be damaging to his Fox News, family man image.
How do these women voluntarily allow themselves to get into such situations? Sure, it’s the allure of money and all. I get it. But gosh, my standards are pretty low, but I wouldn’t sleep with the Queen of the crypt keepers for money. There is no other word for it but skank. To voluntarily sleep with all 235 pounds of Donald Trump. Try not to imagine Donald Trump naked with his little mushroom pointed towards business. Yep, that was most certainly the story to catch and kill alright. It makes Citizen Kane look like a Tom & Jerry cartoon.
Now it has turned into all this. The Pecker is shrunken and deflated, and the little dick has a rash which won’t go away. Trump is burned by the lurid double indemnity of both a poor anatomy and matching poor performance. How frustrating that must be for Trump. His manhood being attacked, rated, critiqued and reviewed.
“Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice chasing skanks and cheating on wives.”
After her husband was caught cheating, Hillary Clinton was asked dozens of times why she didn’t leave that skank chasing husband of hers? Strangely, Trump’s wife Malaria has never been asked that same question. Because everyone already knows the answer!
But be careful pitching pennies in the Twilight Zone. You could be forced to live out eternity in a Florida Xanadu. Living out all the days of your life with the Mushroom man. And then maybe, you’ll be all alone for a while. His bad breath, snoring his farts and other endearing traits shared only with his cellmates in prison. But by that time, the money will largely be all gone. She married money, but she didn’t marry well.
It is a truly sad and tawdry day for the country. But most of us as boys were warned never to think with our dick orask for a Pecker’s advice.
“Fame is a vapor, popularity is an accident, riches take wings, those who cheer today may curse tomorrow and only one thing endures – character.” ― Harry Truman
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