Stuck on You

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

It was the day John McCain earned the eternal enmity of the Republican Party. A disoriented old woman looking like she was on her way to the Kroger for Ex-lax and a quart of Jim Beam. Ends up at a political rally with a microphone in her face and she says, “Barrack Obama is a Muslim.” Hours of radio and television, and millions of dollars spent to purport the big lie. “He’s a Muslim born in Kenya” It was only believable if you wanted to believe in it like Leprechauns. If was an easy out for moderate Republicans who didn’t want to admit to being racist could say, “He wasn’t born here, he’s not eligible.” But McCain committed the cardinal sin and said, “No, he’s not a Muslim.”

Tonga is the fire god who lives in the angry mountain. We throw all non-believers into the mountain to feed Tonga. Do you believe in Tonga? Do you believe in the Messiah? Do you believe in the devil? Do you believe in the big lie? Are you one of us or not, because we don’t need a fucking mountain to get rid of you! All the time and effort spent spinning the web and getting the suckers on board. And here comes John McCain with a leaf blower and just blows it all to hell. The media is the message, and the message is the media. Big Brother is increasing the chocolate ration soon!

Sean Hannity said, “Marxists have taken over Washington.” It is demonstrably not true. It is no truer than to say the Mole People have taken over or the Martians. Our great leader says Tonga rumbles because he is hungry and must be fed. I know…I believe! Liz Cheney was bounced down Tonga’s throat because…she wouldn’t ride the big lie. Saying Big Brother has bad breath will get you booted from the inner party. Rather than an agenda with a message, it is a message with an agenda. Trump taking his cues from Hannity. There is an episode of the original Star Trek where Mr. Spock discovers that a bright light can kill the alien life form. Something tells me someone let orange grand pa watch the Sci-Fi channel and wanted to be Mr. Spock. “Eureka! I have done it! A bright light will kill the virus!”

“President Trump put on his Rocket man suit and flew to Venus today for a meeting of the intergalactic federation. He was greeted with a standing ovation and offered citizenship on a dozen worlds.  Why not? What does reality have to do with it? President Trump today personally bombed Iran. Flying his favorite B-52 (Golden Hair) fourteen hours from Diego Garcia. Trump bombed the Iranian nuclear facilities with a twenty-kiloton nuclear device. And commented, “You’ll get worse, if we have any more trouble out of you!”

Marge Green says she doesn’t believe in that kind of science, meaning evolution. You know science plays favorites and has a political point of view. That means you can’t always trust it. You must first test to see if science passes the political smell test before you can go ahead and begin to agree with it. Now, if want to believe that God in a supernatural dimension created us out of dirt and placed us here in the backwaters of the galaxy to worship him. I should accept that at face value because it is your closely held belief. But you are free to ignore reams of evidence; sounds more like a Stockholm hostage situation than a religion. Many theologians have reconciled creation with evolution, but it requires…nuance.

Lindsey Graham says because Covid-19 was released from a Chinese Lab nothing is Trump’s fault. The Messiah is blameless, praise his name. Eccentric orbits can only become more eccentric which is a belief of the left-leaning Physics’ committee.  The Ohio State House Health Committee is considering legislation to do away with vaccination requirements. To speak for the legislation, they brought in Dr. Sherri Tenpenny. Dr. Tenpenny is the author of, “Saying No to Vaccines.” I’ll let her speak, hyperbole leaves me.

“I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures all over the internet (No) of people who have had these shots and now they’re magnetized. “You can put a key on their forehead, it sticks. You can put spoons and forks all over and they can stick because now we think there is a metal piece to that.”

The pharmaceutical companies and Urie Gellar insist there is no metal in the vaccine. Even if there was at less than a milliliter per dose is not enough to magnetize an entire human body. It shouldn’t need to be said, but a dose the size of an ant’s belly button can’t hold a house key to your forehead.

“There’s been people (many people say.) who have long suspected that there is some sort of an interface, yet to be defined interface, between what’s being injected into these shots and all of the 5G towers.”

“I’m sure” and “there’s been,” you don’t get much more scientific than that! The old 5G towers bit to fall back on. I suppose they will turn you into a werewolf if your heart is not pure when the moon is full? Another helpless Bill Gates cyborg injected to do his bidding? My grandmother would not ride in a car. Street cars and busses were okay, but not automobiles. My grandfather said his tearful last goodbyes before boarding his first flight on an airplane and returned a smiling seasoned traveler. My father had a bad case of the Whooping cough as a child. I never did and neither did my siblings. We drank fluoridated water, which I understand is bad for your psychic ability, but good for your teeth. I consider it a good trade off. I use my teeth every day and rarely psychic anything.

The big lie to the big life to the big lie over and under spinning a tapestry of fantastic and the super fantastic. Obama is a Musim; Fauci is a Communist, Biden is a Marxist and Trump was cheated. Don’t you question my religion with your phony bologna defective science. I have enough trouble with my keys now! I don’t want to go through life setting off metal detectors and smoke alarms! “They are going to get me! They are all out to get me! They are going to get us all! Hold your garlic cloves in one hand and your crucifix in the other and you won’t need a vaccination.

If we teach them that government can help them, they will ask for help. If we teach them that government can’t help them, they won’t ask and we can do away with all the malarkey of pretending like we care.

“The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, ‘All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn’t asked any questions.”
― Frank Zappa

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