Black Magic

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

In ancient times primitive peoples used slash and burn agriculture. Burning off the top cover and haphazardly, planted a crop before moving on. (Pizza Gate, MS13, the caravan) Stumps and rocks were left in the way. It didn’t matter they’d soon be moving along. (Whitewater, birth certificate, Benghazi) Very little advance planning as these are a primitive people. (Four Seasons, Supporters left to freeze on tarmac…twice) A people in transition from a hunter gather society to an agricultural and living in the cave full time lately. (Hunter Biden, Ukraine, FBI) Only recently standing erect and wearing shoes. (Laptop, Muslim, Critical Race Theory.)

Running off willie nilly hunting in search of big game. (Mount Rushmore, Fireworks, God Bless America) Heedless that even if they could bring such big game down it is too big to drag back to the cave. (Automatic repeating donations, Stop the steal, say, look at those tourists beating that cop to death.) Just throwing shit at the cave wall to see what sticks. It is all reactive never proactive. Tonight, on Faux News, is Antifa hiding under your bed? Will inflation destroy your life savings? Was ending the pandemic just a Biden plot to make Trump look bad? And so it was, our erstwhile Fred Flintstone (as played tonight by Matt Gaetz) sharpened up a stick and went after the dinosaur that moves the really big rocks. (As played by Gen. Mark Milley) Fred straightens his Dino robe and points his spear menacingly. Attacking Critical Race Theory, because to Fred that is a weakness.

With the right work ethic and repetition the Reich wing attempts to make Critical Race Theory into the next Antifa. The next Black Panther Party (Meeting in Lenny’s basement every other Tuesday.) Eleven dedicated Black men portrayed in Reich wing media circles as Patton’s 3rd Army. Did you know that Black Live Matters is a communist front group? Just yesterday, I heard Critical Race Theory described as “Pro-Communist.” Bad! Make fire God in sky angry! Stack animal bones or throw virgin in volcano make fire God happy again. (Also makes virgins anxious to put out.)  One of the things that galls me to no end is when people who don’t work somewhere try and tell people who do, what it’s all about.

A Congressman who can’t keep his zipper or his mouth shut tries telling a General with forty years’ experience, what he’s hearing from soldiers. Never having served above the rank of hall monitor himself, he’s gonna explain the military to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Smile for the camera, our Faux breaking news. Congressman Matt Gaetz destroys Biden’s general.

 “What is wrong with … having some situational understanding about the country for which we are here to defend?” Gen. Mark Milley asked. “I personally find it offensive that we are accusing the United States military … of being, quote, ‘woke,’ because we’re studying some theories that are out there.”

Fred responds, “Books bad, words say bad things about Fred. Make Fred feel bad about self. Can’t be trusted! Wilma!” Barney Rubble as played tonight by Tucker Carlson, “You can’t talk to Fred that way! “Hard to believe that man wears a uniform, he’s that unimpressive.” And a suck up and a pig and stupid! (Irony alert, Tucker Carlson accusing anyone of being a suck up) Let’s defund the military! No, wait, forget I said that. Be afraid America, be very afraid. Words on paper could be damaging to your health. Let’s ban it quick. There are innocent children out there! Only our ignorance keeps the sky from falling and keeps the fire god happy.

Almost a Monty Python sketch: “And henceforth it shall be against the law to teach Critical Race Theory to anyone in the realm.” Excuse me but what is Critical Race Theory? “I can’t tell you.” Why not? “I’m trying to pass a law here ya bloody twit. I’m trying to get rid of it and now you want me to explain it to you and violate my own law? “ Yes. “Right, and henceforth it shall be against the law to teach Critical Race Theory to anyone in the realm except for just this once.” I’m sorry, I’m late, did I miss anything? “Right, and henceforth it shall be against the law to teach Critical Race Theory to anyone in the realm except for just this once and the other time.”

Mike Pence emerges from the cave entrance shouting excitedly, “I found it! A spine and it is all mine! There I was sitting under an apple tree when an apple fell and hit me on the head. Eureka! Not certifying the election would be unamerican!” Fred and Barney look on with blank stares, Mike who? Mike somebody or something, never heard of him.  Not since Claude Rains has there a more invisible man, “This parrot’s dead!” Mike Pence is now ready to shoot old Yeller after he’s already bit everyone.

Playing the Trump card with a Nixon inside straight. Racism, no chaser. Selling the illiterate and unstable White walk-in bathtub shoppers of America that Critical Race Theory is akin to a Black Communist Manifesto. The new Pizza Gate with millions and millions of locations. Recently a White mob attacked a school board meeting and wouldn’t be placated by the simple claims that they weren’t teaching Critical Race Theory. “Yeah, prove it! She’s witch, burn her!” You say you ain’t teaching it. But that feller on TV he says you is! Are you calling him a liar?  Where is the basement in this place!

Donald Trump waits at the bus stop, but the bus passes him by. On to its way to its new stop down the road at the corner of Black Lives Matter Street and Critical Race Theory Boulevard.  A changing of the guard. The ratings are beginning to slip Mr. Orange is becoming Mr. Yesterday. (Someone left the cake out in the rain, and I’ll never have that recipe again.) Time to find a new golden Idol or dig up the old one, shine it up get the sheets pressed and make it all new again. Attacking anything they don’t understand as black magic and not to be trusted. That’s simply the way primitive people react to new ideas. That’s why we call them primitive in the first place.

Lonely roads, God only knows, he’s grown farther from home, he’s no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose ’cause here goes the cold water
These hoes don’t want him no mo’, he’s cold product
They moved on to the next schmo who flows, he nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds, I suppose it’s old partna, but the beat goes on
Da-da-dum, da-dum, da-da
Eminem

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