Moon Men

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

There is more trouble and protest brewing in the trucking industry. But scour Faux News video screens all you like; you won’t hear about it. This dispute is down on border of old Mexico and the lost state of Tehas. Where Republican Governor, Greg “Bubba” Abbott has instituted “secondary” inspections at the border. Searching all commercial vehicles crossing the Tehas/Mexican border, looking for headlines and free publicity.

Snarling up traffic and creating seven-hour delays and costing people a lot of money. Imagine what a tank of diesel fuel costs, idling, and waiting all day for the “Bubba” seal of approval. After just having your truck federally inspected.

It’s a play right out of the Republican gospel, book of Ronald verse 666. “And he say eth unto them, the government can’t do anything right. They are incompetent, wasteful and wicked. Awful be the name of government.” In World War Two, we just got lucky, and the moon landing was a fluke, just beginner’s luck as well.

The Interstate highway system was believed to be created by an ancient alien super race. Because you just can’t count on that Social Security check showing up every month. You must tell Americans that their government is broken. Then, that way when you break it, you can say, “See, I told you so.”

Only by electing Republicans can it ever get better, because they’ll use less government. They will still be incompetent, only there will be fewer of them around. You don’t need to keep that weigh station open all the time, do you? Can’t we just trust the trucks aren’t overweight? We could save a lots of time and money, by not looking for trouble so often. So, what! One condo building collapses and people lose their shit, getting all upset and hysterical, like their grandmamma lived there. The chances that building inspections would have caught that, are one in ten, or maybe one in five tops.

Bubba wants secondary inspections of trucks crossing the border destined for the Piggly Wiggly in Iowa, or the Jewel Foods in Chicago. Trucks already inspected, but the Federal government can’t do anything right. Especially something as complicated as inspecting a truck load of frozen vegetables. “Anyone hiding in here at twenty degrees?” Rather than using trained inspectors, Bubba is using trained State Troopers and casting no aspersions. But have you ever seen a cop get in a hurry? Apparently, the Mexican truckers haven’t either, and are all pissed off about it, and rightfully so.

Their livelihoods are caught up in American grab ass Republican horse play. Don Quixote must climb up on Rocinante and seek out a new quest. Seek out and find a new windmill to skewer. But Bubba’s not very original and steals a page from the orange Methuselah. There are enemies among us everywhere. You can’t even be a Republican these days, without protecting us from illusive, but perceived enemies.

All the while, ignoring clearly identified threats. Transsexuals and Gay people in Florida, or Mexicans in Texas. What good is a border if you can’t use it politically, huh? Fifth columnists out to destroy this beautiful world Jesus gave us. But fear not, I’ll order the state troopers to inspect those trucks for you real good. So, you can sleep good at night. But first, I’ll call a press conference!

In protest, the Mexican truckers have blocked the roads across the Tehas border. (Now who ever gave them that idea?) And will wait for the bosses and bankers to begin to holler. Ironic huh? Protests over mask restrictions are big news. But protests over bureaucratic and punitive restrictions, not so much. Masks are a big deal to Republicans, while bureaucracy and fascism are not. Who cares if truckers lose a day’s pay or a tank of fuel?

Bubba’s protecting Merica! So you stand up and take your hat off when the anthem plays! When you open the back of that truck in Chicago, you’ll find only frozen vegetables and not frozen Mexicans, and you’ll have Bubba to thank!

And here is your receipt and here is your receipt for your receipt. And here is your receipt authorization receipt. And here are your Federal inspection papers and here are your state and county inspection papers. Along with the Bubba Blue Star been here 24 hrs. Good sport award. But where is your authorization for secondary paperwork inspection authorization? Well, without it we’re just gonna have to inspect that truck all over again. Get back into line. In Laredo, Tehas, it’s only 20,000 trucks a day that need Bubba’s seal of approval. Now serving number 11! Number 11!

But Bubba wants to be President real bad. So, he never takes a day off, when looking for enemies. As the cases land on the desks of Tehas Child Protective Services for their officers to investigate the families of Transgenders. In much the same the way the Gestapo once investigated Jews. The Child Protective Service officers are resigning their posts. Real crimes against children will go unaddressed. About half the officers have already resigned, with the rest putting out their resume’s.  

In an effort to make headlines and look important, the Tehas Governor will destroy the state’s child protective services department. Tehas state troopers with side arms at the ready dreamed of an exciting career in law enforcement and maybe someday, investigating a suspicious truckload of terracotta pottery headed for the Walmart super center, located just outside of Fort Worth. This one’s clean! “Now serving, number 12. Number 12!”

All this narrative spun up to convince the penny stickers and hoosters in the hustings, that someone out there is out to “get em” in the Globe theater of the absurd. There are moon men out there you know. Lucky for you, we can protect you with our moon men guns.

Just throwing shit at the wall until something sticks and resonates or strikes fear in the crowd. (The roar of the grease paint and the smell of the crowd. – Groucho Marx) Critical Race Theory, Antifa, Black Lives Matter, Gay people! Mexicans! Dirty books! Pizza parlor, and pedophile, pedophile pedophile! Cannibalism Hillary Clinton, and you! Transgender, Liberal! E-mail server, Obama, California, New York!

A simian feedback loop. “The Monsters are Due on Maple Street.” Let’s Go Brandon!

“Anyone who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities’” – Voltaire

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