By David Glenn Cox
For decades, the TV commercials ran every spring, cartoon hapless insects who wander in being cartoonish and then “Raid!” You can’t help but laugh, really. The SWAT team raiding Mira Lago. Dogs barking blue lights flashing, reflecting off the buildings. Malaria Twump hand cuffed face down spread eagle on the front lawn. With the neighbors standing in their driveways. Curiously watching all the commotion as a police radio crackles, squawking noxiously.
All manner of the hired help relieved that the raid was not for them, this time. Feeling safe enough to return from hiding in the Greens keeper’s shed and stashing their weed. K-9 units checking out the grounds of the property and crowds of slow-moving officers looking officially licensed, who don’t get in a hurry. Edward G. Robinson, as Little Caesar “This could take awhile fellas, you better make yourselves comfortable.”
Do you think Twump is afraid of few cops? He’s from New York City; he’s owned cops for decades. “Come on in fellas, can I get you something to drink? What is it that you’re looking for this time, or should I know already?” And as much fun as the fantasy is, it’s not near as much fun as next time could be. It’s the secret to a good romance, higher levels of expectations. Savor it and enjoy it, don’t skip ahead to the sex scene for titillation.
But do you remember back amid all the “Trumpery” and sedition? The little noticed matter of missing documents. If you have well paid, government job sorting and preserving records, you take that shit deadly serious. Twump mishandled boxes of documents that didn’t belong to him. He assumed, if they had his name on them, they were his. When called on the carpet about this matter, Twump immediately coughed up boxes of documents. From that day till now, is how long it takes to figure out if all the documents were actually there. The answer is “No.”
Let’s not be naive here, we have all seen enough episodes of “Cops” to know when the perp starts volunteering stuff, he’s hiding something. And in his defense, (Did I say that?) it probably isn’t as sinister as it first appears. In his ruptured vanity gone wild. There are probably a few scraps of paper where someone actually said something nice about him, and he wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
Hi! And greetings from North Korea. (Dipshit) I have been told by my council (under penalty of death) That you are the wisest and the most cleverest and bravest leader ever. I have also read that you like your ass kissed, a lot. That your ass it is big and large like the full moon when cherry blossoms fall. That only you can see the strategic importance of making nice with a desperately poor third-rate nuclear power. You make the sunshine like Mary Tyler Moore. Will you be my friend? (You, big dumb ass cluck.)
I’m certain there are many other documents as well, many not so flattering. In a way, Twump has done their dirty work by sorting for them. The most incriminating document were still at Mira Lago, and so, the raid. There is a rule in search warrants, if they are looking for an elephant, they can’t look in the desk drawer. If they are looking for a gun, they can’t search your wallet. But if they are looking for paper. Why then, they could look anywhere that a paper might try to hide.
The training mission, “All right, quiet down now men. This afternoon we will execute a search warrant on the Mira Lago complex. That’s grid “C” on your map. Now, this is a tactical training mission men. We’ve got a lot a new people with us, and we need to get to training to get it right. So set your phasers on stun. We’re going in today to do everything but take down the suspect. Repeat! Do not take down the Orange suspect today. Are we clear on this? Any questions?”
Ask yourself, in his orange hubris amid the hibiscus, humidity and cockroaches the size of small dogs. If Twump ever expected to be raided by the cops? My wager would be “no” and regardless of their goal they are making statement to the orange apocalypse. “You wouldn’t dare!” Oh yeah? Do you see those headlights coming in your front window? Guess who?
But it represents so much more than just a search for documents. To complete the jigsaw puzzle flaws in the historical record. I just can’t remember the last time Federal Agents raided a former President’s residence. I would have thought it far under covered by the media. It’s historic, stop the presses! It’s first time ever. “That’s one small step for man.” Maybe it is a training mission for the media as well. So, they will know how react once Ike gives the go ahead for D-Day in operation: Orange Take Down.
It represents the ideological tearing of the fabric, the protozoa dividing themselves in the murky night soil of Republicanism. There are now the Twumpers who scream, and the Republicans who shield their eyes and quietly look the other way. And there is an invisible masking tape being laid down across the floor of room. And brother, if you ain’t one of us, you are one of them.
The split between them is official. And construction of a wall with barking German Shepard dogs and search lights, complete with watch towers and machine guns will begin immediately. “Pink isn’t well, he stayed back at the hotel.”
Listen to em holler Laruen (Low Rent) Boebert (Your friendly discount escort. Why pay more?) and Marge Tater Greene and Paul Gosar, all the seditionists! One more and they could play liar’s poker. But it all has a familiar ring to it. After the arrest of Charles Manson, the remaining family members not implicated in the crimes, also protested their outrage at their cult leader’s arrest. Stop persecuting the Bhagwan!
In backwards mirror land, the cops are just picking on the former President. Don’t talk about WHY Twump’s Mira Lago compound was raided. If you listen closely, you can hear what the Pakistanis were probably saying without an interpreter after the Bin Laden raid. Soon to be a Feature film; “The Night they Raided Twump’s House. ”Is this the end of “Little Caeser?”
It’s the end of the Republican Party, the final incident that split a family into enemies and some into .horribly deformed mutants.
“Weaponizing the FBI to raid President Trump’s home makes Watergate look like nothing.” – Lauren (Low Rent) Boebert
Who remembers? K-tell presents all your favorites on one LP. Who remembers, “Lock her up! Lock her up! Lock her up! And everybody’s favorite, “Build the wall, build the wall!)
“We must destroy the FBI. “We must save America.” – Paul Gosar
(“The king must die so that the country can live.”)
― Maximilien de Robespierre
You need a judge to get a search warrant, and you need probable cause to get a judge. Did the former President deliberately take-home documents with a potential commercial value? Yes, yes, he did. We know that to be a fact. He voluntarily returned said documents and admitted to taking them. If some documents are still missing, that’s probable cause.
The guy who took most of documents is trying to hang on to the cherries, probable cause. The fat kid who admits to taking some of the cookies, probably took all the cookies. And the kid’s trying to defend him, were simply in on it.
He opened on: ‘Now THEREFORE, Tatnai, governor beyond the river, Shethar-boznai, and your companions the Apharsachites, which ARE beyond the river, be ye far from thence,’ an injunction spirited but not at present helpful.”
― Sinclair Lewis